Beating the Clay-Monster Crunch.

Proof that TNSMF reads this blog – he got a wild card to Monte Carlo. And his website now has a retro 70s orange background. I feel rejuvenated already. 

 

That is however not the topic of this post. As much as I love TMF and on occasion TNSMF too, watching Roger on clay, or any other player on clay for that matter, just doesn’t get me excited these days. 

 

A clay-loathing Federer fan? Surely not! To be fair, my lack of love for the clay has nothing to do with Federer’s utter inability to win a certain clay court slam. I just don’t have the patience for the style of play the surface brings out in players, nor do I (or the rest of the English speaking world) give a damn about the group of players that traditionally emerge around this time of the year before fading into obscurity by July. These days however, no player could be properly referred to as a ‘clay courter’ in light of what Rafael Nadal has managed to achieve on this surface, and depending on what he goes on to accomplish from here – perhaps no player could ever be (though I’d give Chris Evert a pass on that one for the girls’ side of things). 

 

Karma’s a bitch isn’t it. For years I’ve scoffed at people who claimed tennis was “boring” because some potato-nose from Switzerland was winning every single title under the sun. Now that the coin’s flipped, it ain’t nearly as funny. Sorry Rafa, Mr. too-nice-a-guy-for-me-not-to-like, I’m opting to turn a half a blind eye to the ATP clay season this year. Actually would you mind if we mailed the trophies out to you and move on?

 

 

The Clay Monster's coming...

 

 

So instead of agonising over the predictability of ATP tennis, I’m going to channel all my frustrated tennis angst into the only other option available – the WTA. Oh yeth… I fear for my mental fortitude too. Can someone explain to me how on earth Dinara Safina got to the No 1 spot? Gee Roger wishes he was born a girl right now. 

 

But it could actually be fun: I started doing a list of possible contenders and breakouts, before realising that anyone, and I mean ANYONE could manage to scrape a few titles during the clay season this year, and this include the priziest title of them all.

 

Picket Fence WTA Clay Season League

• Venus Williams: so I keep picking Venus this year. As a fan of the House of Williams, I tend to swing between Venus and Serena in terms of which of the sisters I love more. Right now, I am feeling this vibe of calm focus from Venus which I find incredibly endearing. She’s not known for her clay court prowess, but she’s known for brilliant tennis in general. Fingers crossed I’m right about her. 
• Serena Williams: sans injury – the strongest contender. Less than 100% fitness – expect early upset. 
• Elena Dementieva: not sure about Dementieva’s latest performances at Indian Wells and Miami. But given her results in the first few months of the season, take the Williamses out of the equation and I’d have her down as the big contender. Particularly on clay since she’s clearly confident on the surface, and one of the best players along the baseline.
• Dinara Safina: I have so much suppressed rage right now about the No 1 spot I don’t even want to comment. Except to say that it’s harder staying there than getting there. Not sure that I see it happening for her this season. Would love to be wrong though.  
• JJ: a few months ago, ask me who I would pick to win Roland Garros this year, and I probably would’ve gone with JJ. But since then, JJ’s movement seems to have lost that fluidity and lightness. And for someone who depends so much on her movement around the court, this is worrying. And then there’s the slight problem of the AWOL happy splits, you don’t need to read self-help books to figure that happy things happen to happy people, and Jelena is just a bag of misery right now…   (I do however wish her luck in Marbella this week now that Serena is out.) 
• Ana: okay, so I’m going to contradict what I just said and state once and for all that I can’t handle this much psychedelic happiness from Ana Ivanovic. Sorry Ana fans, but someone hand her a lemon. I like my female tennis players fierce and bold, or just inappropriately bitchy. This girl-next-door thing doesn’t fit well within my Tennis Universe. Pride and prejudice aside, in Dubai and Indian Wells, Ana Ivanovic has shown signs of coming back from whatever Wonderland she wandered off to after Roland Garros 2008, but do I think she’s back for good? Hardly.   
• Caroline Wozniacki: she’s definitely due for a breakthrough. Technically, there is no reason why Woz can’t do well this clay season, but mentally (and strategically), can she pull it off? I’m not convinced. But I am starting to warm to her, “Danish Delight” indeed.  
• Victoria Azarenka: Vika is going to win a grand slam someone day, mental implosions aside, but Roland Garros ain’t the place where it’s going to happen. She moves better than Sharapova, but that’s not to say she’s as athletic or quick as some of her contemporaries. And her ground strokes are probably a little too flat for the clay, although these days, it’s BYO game for all surfaces.  You never know. 
• Agniewska Radwanska: I have the same concern with Radwanska as many did with Hingis (though I do think the comparison between them is overdone and premature), and that is power. Clay however has a rather equalizing effect. I have nothing substantial to prove that Agniewska has the ability to do well on clay – her best results have come on grass and hard court – but it’s just a hunch. She’s speedy, she’s fairly solid along the baseline. She clearly thinks on court, which is more than I can say about some of the players on this list.  
• Amelie Mauresmo: Amelie Mauresmo is one of my role models on the WTA tour – she’s a grand slam champion, she’s a big-hearted person, she’s clearly intelligent for anyone who knows about the French current affairs show she attended last year, she lives life to the full – playing tennis, skiing, wine tasting. So her inclusion on the list is more of a desire on my part to wish good things on her in the latter stages of her career. I know we’d all like to see Momo play her “A tennis” again, because her “A tennis” is simply a thing of beauty. Having said all that, how about a Roland Garros doubles title with Kuzzy? 
• Alize Cornet: I have the strangest girl crush on Alize. She is just this feisty, delightful doll that I want to fold up and pop into my pocket. Like I said, with its equalising effect, clay is one of those surfaces that could make Alize dangerous, and it’s also a surface that she’s clearly very confident on, given her run to the finals in Rome last year. Fingers crossed.  
• Someone from Spain: Oh not again. 
• I feel terrible, it took me past “someone from Spain” before I remembered a top seed, and certainly a contender, that I have yet to mention – Vera Zvonareva. In my mind, I still haven’t quite taken her out of the “Tier II” category I had originally assigned her. But knowing Vera, she’ll come out firing and kick me in the ass for that.
• Flavia Pennetta: she sure can play on clay. I don’t see a grand slam in her, but a semifinal? A few more clay court titles? Or perhaps taking down a few top seeds along the way? Absolutely. 
• Gisela Dulko? Agnes Szavay? Sara Errani? 

 

Image Credit: I haven no idea actually, a tennis loving friend of mine posted it on my facebook wall, so credit to her. Though it did have a rather unpleasant side effect of scaring off my non-tennis loving friends.