French Open adieu.

I’m chuckling as I read my last post – it’s a bit like the Oscars meet Thanksgiving. But I’m glad I captured the moment, written straight after the final as I sat in bed sleep-deprived, emotional and happy as hell. In the coming months and years, I might look back at that post and remember the sheer elation I felt at the time, and I have no doubt that it will go down as one of my greatest sporting memories in life. 

 

Now that feeling is passé, my heart is still wrapped up in a warm blanket. But we need to say goodbye to Paris. I know – it’s sad. And how crazy is the tennis schedule? The chants of the French crowd are still ringing in my ears, yet the grass season has already started. Hell, Wimbledon is in 13 days. I am not ready for that. Help! 

 

So au revoir Roland Garros, it’s been a crazy ride, sickeningly so at times. But I will actually miss you this time. 14 thoughts for 14 slams:

 

Squishiness. DOUBLE squishiness. But can Roger do a star jump too?

 

1. Let’s start with Roger shall we? How quickly things change in tennis.

After the Australian Open, Nadal was ready for GOAT-anointment and the possibility of finally winning “the Grand Slam”. 

After Miami, Andy Murray was heralded by many as the de facto world No 2. 

After Rome, despite slipping to No 4, Novak Djokovic became “the second best player”, while commentators yoked that Nadal could hobble into the French Open with one working knee and still win. 

And now? Roger Federer’s slam record in the last four slams: 2 wins, 2 finals. As a deeply superstitious tennis fan, I don’t want to jinx Federer, but if he wants to do the “Channel slam”, I really, really, wouldn’t mind. 

Nor would I mind seeing him holding Babybear in one arm and the US Open trophy in the other.

But let’s not get greedy: here’s to Federer’s 7th consecutive year of winning at least one slam. Not bad for a guy who’s supposedly a “goner”. 

 

Proud Momma: PATRICK KOVARIK/AFP/Getty Images

 

2. I don’t know how I feel about Dinara Safina.

 

Sad face for a head case.

 

We started off badly. I found her game too clunky for my liking. Besides I wasn’t going to give her a free pass on my “Bandwagons List” just because she’s Marat Safin’s sister.

But since she took the top spot, Safina has shown dignified maturity against some of the unwarranted criticisms directed at her. She’s worked hard to be worthy of her ranking, and her quiet determination throughout the clay season has been a joy to watch. Had she won the women’s final, I would’ve planted myself firmly on her bandwagon.

Only she didn’t. Two weeks of incredible play fell apart at the last hurdle.

I keep saying “carpe diem” like a broken record machine. It was my high school’s motto back in the day and I believe in it. I believe in Destiny too (and Santa, and the Tooth Fairy, Harry Potter … all that jazz), but I also believe Destiny is for those who earn it. When the two defending Roland Garros champions exited the competition on the same day, it seemed destined that last year’s two finalists were going to take home the trophy. They became immediate favourites and were placed under immense pressure. But here we see the difference between a champion and a really good player:

Roger Federer wanted it so badly that he fired down 4 aces on four serves in the second set tiebreak. No one was going to stop him: wind, rain or Jimmy Jumper. Dinara Safina wanted it so badly that she froze in fear and asked herself “why am I such a chicken?”

I already have too many headcase bandwagons. Sorry, Dinara. 

 

3. At the end of the day, the decapitation of the Clay Monster came so unexpectedly, it was cruel and almost comical. Like the feeling I had when Federer knelt down in victory, I will always remember the cocktail of emotions I felt when Nadal lost. Dizziness, shock, sadness, incredulity… I wish I had never called out to the guys of the ATP to slay the Monster. In contrast, Federer’s ceremonious “dethroning” at Wimbledon last year seemed like a more dignified way to break a monumental streak. 

And to lose to the Sod in that shirt. 

 

4. Biggest surprise of the tournament: Robin Soderling is a yoker. A charming one at that. “Yoke” is totally le mot du jour in the tennis world. Watch out – I plan to abuse it.

That aside, it’s been bizarrely satisfying watching the Sod this tournament, but can we really not have him in the final of a grand slam ever again? 

 

5. Sveta! Sveta! Sveta! Sveta! 

It has just come to my attention that for a consistent, reasonably well-known top 5 player, Kuzzy isn’t actually sponsored by Fila. Some injustices in this world are particularly infuriating and hurtful.

 

6. This tournament marks the one year anniversary of the semifinal between Ana Ivanovic and Jelena Jankovic. Victory for Ana sealed her claim to the top spot, but who knew it would be the last and only time she defeated a top 5 player in the next 12 months? Has it really been that long? Oh yes, it has. Ivanovic is now ranked No 13 in the world, just below Marion Bartoli. Even for a non-Ivanovic fan, this is a little depressing. 

 

7. I am usually a fan of JJ’s. But she’s suspended from my Bandwagons List. Too much hype, nothing to back it up. 

 

I had liked JJ’s outfit … until I saw this. Overkill.

REUTERS/Andrew Winning

 

8. Elena Dementieva has never been on my Bandwagons List. Madonna arms and neurotic serves aren’t really my thing. But maybe we should ask her who she thinks might win Wimbledon? 

 

9. Mentioning neurotic serves. We’ve got Ana Ivanovic’s wonky ball toss, and now Dinara Safina’s soaring ball toss. Does it really need to be that high? Any higher and she’ll cause aviation accidents. 

 

10. The general theme of this year’s Roland Garros seems to be that good things happen to all-round nice people. Roger, Sveta and Sam Stosur all belong in that category. I hope Stosur backs it up with a solid showing at Wimbledon. 

 

11. Really. Not. Cool. The Roland Garros security I mean. Monica Seles came to mind at the time – we’ve got a high-intensity rivalry going on in tennis right now. You only need to look at some of the tennis forums to realise that there are some seriously deranged fans out there. I shudder to think what would’ve happened if “Jimmy Jumper” had been anything other than an idiotic attention seeker.  

What the fuck? The guy moved to touch Federer and no one shot him? When Federer conceded that game at love my heart sank so low I could’ve shat it out. God bless the man, he got over it quickly and got back on track. Can we have electric barbed wire fences around tennis courts? 

 

12. Most disappointing performance of the tournament: Novak Djokovic.

I know Kohlschreiber is capable of pulling some big upsets. His match against Roddick at the Australian Open last year featured some spectacular display of power and shot making by both players. But there was no reason for Novak Djokovic to lose to someone like Kohlschreiber in straight sets.

Sure, anyone can have a bad day. But in the last four slams, The Djoker has exited twice in the first week, retired once, and made a fool of himself in New York. When you consider yourself to be “in with the big boys”, bad days at the slams sometimes just ain’t good enough. Deservingly No 4. 

 

13. Maria Sharapova is living proof that mind and will power make or break a player. Particularly on the women’s tour.

So she’s got spanked by Cibulkova in the quarters, but I personally didn’t think she was going to get past Nadia Petrova in Round 2. Or Li Na in Round 4 for that matter. Keeping in mind that this is by far her worst surface. Bodes well for her comeback.

 

BERTRAND GUAY/AFP/Getty Images

 

14. Juan Martin del Potro can serve.

I knew that before, but that semifinal against Federer was the first time I’ve seen him serve like that. He still bores me stylistically, but hell, even for a Federer fan, style isn’t everything.

Between the Australian Open and Roland Garros, del Potro has matured in leaps and bounds, and beaten Nadal and Murray in the process. Had that semifinal been a best-of-3 match, he would’ve claimed Federer’s scalp too. Juan Martin del Potro can serve. And he is serving notice to the Fab Four. It could be a “Fab Five” by the end of the year. 

 

Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images

 

**

 

Now… clay is for pigs, grass is for cows (and goats too). Cherish the grass non-season folks. Blink and you might miss it.

But is Roger Federer seriously playing Halle? That’s an awful lot of tennis. (EDIT// Federer has pulled out of Halle since I wrote this. Thank God.)