Minding Your Ps, Your Queues, and Your Wimbledon Haikus
Those who braved the Wimbledon queue on Tuesday night received precious ducats to the All-England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club for Wednesday’s session of play on the most hallowed grounds in tennis. Spectators who gained entry to this sport’s most prestigious event were fittingly reminded of the enduring reason why matches are won and lost.
Why did Ernests Gulbis… pull an Ernests Gulbis against Jerzy Janowicz? Why did Caroline Wozniacki (now known to this writer as “Bus Driver” — she wants to know if chair umpires attended school, after all…) continue her downward spiral with a first-round exit against Tamira Paszek?
Why did Tsvetana Pironkova – to the immense relief of Ye Olde Picket Fence Blog’s Owner And Publisher – not win a single one of her five set points against Maria Sharapova?
Why did Madame Li bow out in the first week of yet another major, giving the punditocracy yet more reason to view her 2011 as more aberration than indicator?
Why did Samantha Jane Stosur lose in the second round… and not shock anybody as a result?
Why did Ryan Harrison lose all six of his break points on Novak Djokovic’s serve, while Nole converted all three of his break point chances?
Why did Stanley Wawrinka lose to the rapidly declining, anything-but-confident, never-made-for-grass version of Jurgen Melzer?
And, in a bonus scenario not connected to day three at Wimbledon, why (on Monday) did Tomas Berdych lose three out of three tiebreakers and bow out in the first round of at least one major tournament for his SIXTH STRAIGHT YEAR and his EIGHTH YEAR OUT OF NINE AT THE MAJORS?
All those questions can be answered thusly: the mind. It’s all about the mind.
Rafa, Nole, Masha, and Fed? Minds of titanium.
Just about everyone else right now? A chicken-fried cranium.
And that, Picket Fencers, is your tennis lesson for the day at The Championships.
Now, some haikus for your reading pleasure:
Federer in France
Djokovic in London town
Hard draws become cake
Gulbis is so weak
Can’t wear the pants, so to speak
Jerzy wore him (down)
Li Na, Na Li – meh
Craziness and old age don’t
Make a tennis mix
Lots of points in that first set
‘Cept for the big ones.
What of “Dootsville” now?
Advance Australia fair?
Let’s just move on (UGH!).
Bernard Tomic calls
Wile E. Coyote to mind:
Thinks he’s smart, but NO!
Biggest Fed concern:
(Well, other than Djokovic)
Get Gilles Simon out!
Speaking of Simon:
He just lost some female fans
In the tennis world
Wimbledon is not
Running this event with brains:
Close the roof in rain!
A major semifinal
Needs to be gained here
Tomas Berdych lost
Gulbis thinks that this Czech guy