Shanghai: Last Men Standing.

You might’ve noticed a complete lack of Shanghai coverage this week: 1) the tennis has been mostly uninspiring given the number of retirements this week, 2) life away from tennis, it actually exists. And unfortunately for me, it exists solely to kick my ass. 
But I did manage to catch a few matches this week, and a [...]

Beijing/Tokyo: WHY?!

It is said that for every match Marat Safin plays to his potential, one case of cancer is miraculously cured in the world.
Pity he doesn’t do that more often. 
 

 
I just watched in shock as the Hippo serve out his match against Gonzo for a place in the Beijing quarterfinals.
Why?!
The dude served up 12 aces and [...]

USO Day 4: BELIEVE.

Good day at the office for Americans, a day of bloodbaths for the WTA, as its own headlines read: “who let the underdogs out?”
 

 
For all her comforting results this summer, Jelena Jankovic fell second round to Yaroslava Shvedova 6-3 6-7(4) 7-6(6) after holding two match points. During the match, JJ lacked her usual vibrancy and sprint.
And [...]

USO Day 1 Wrap: ConFederercy of Radness.

It’s Day 1 folks, apart from drooling over Federer’s “beautiful lines” and his outfit, which turned out to be pleasantly stark against the colour of the court, there ain’t much to say. Or is there?
Firstly, the obligatory drooling session starts … now:
 

 
I will never get over his uncanny balance…
 

 
Or the aesthetic value of his movement…
 

 
Slobber [...]

Quotable Quotes: James Blake knows a thing or two about the WTA.

Nothing new, but spoken like an intelligent human being:
 
Q.  In the forward for the book Charging the Net, you talked about being inspired by Serena and Venus.  I know they have a lot of tennis left, but what do you think their legacy will be?  Will it be how they changed the game or [...]

Picspam: A fresh batch of convicts to send to Australia.

Do head shots ever look good?
I love Kendrick’s face – he looks positively constipated. 
 

 
Special mention to Gael Monfils though, the guy actually managed to look normal. Overall, a much better batch than the ATP’s previous attempt. 
 

 
At least they don’t look like drug lords in these. 

Picket Fence Picspam: the Baby Quiz

With so little tennis to inspire me, it’s time for a bit of fluff with some baby photos I’ve collected over the years of tennis players. Sorry about the size and quality of some of these, baby photos are hard to come by! 
Guess who these cuties grew up to be? Go on! You know you [...]

Weekly Mosaics: go thug yourself!

Mirror mirror on the wall,
Who’s the fugliest of them all? 
 

 

 

 

 

 
Yes folks, those are indeed the new mug shots the ATP put up on its website for their players’ profiles. Were the instructions “pretend the photographer’s Etienne de Villiers?”
Epic success.
 
Go-Thug-Yourself Honourable Mention: Fernando Gonzalez for his “big eye small eye” stare-down. 
Go-Thug-Yourself Third Place: Gilles Simon, for [...]

Weekly Mosaics: Sexbomb Sexbomb. You’re my Sexbomb

Here’s looking at you, Radek Stepanek, in all your mutant sexbomb glory. (Czech def Argentina 3-2)
 

 
Oh yeth, it’s the Davis Cup again. Whose smart idea was it to play Davis Cup the week  after Wimbledon? 3 best of five set tournaments in 7 weeks, talk about an overkill. 
 
Spain def Germany 3-2.
 
Fact # 1: Feliciano Lopez [...]

Picket Fence Vids: I lied. I still love you JJ.

More US Open series ads have emerged to complete the “it must be love” set. 
 
Success: Jelena Jankovic
 

 
Fail: Ana Ivanovic.
“I’m pretty, I look like a model, but that’s not the point.”
Why bother pointing it out then?  
 

 
Only two seconds of Rafa and Nole talking absolute BS? Epic fail. 
 
[...]