Picket Fence Laureate: Clearly I’ve got too much time on my hands

The Mighty Fed gave a wide-eyed hop,

At last he arrived at the ultimate stop – 

He played a fifth set without any fears,

To achieve 15 slams in 6 short years!

Under Pistol Pete’s expectant gaze,

The golden trophy was Roger’s to raise. 

Yet we must not forget it wasn’t easy,

Federer’s year sure hasn’t been breezy.

The loss in Australia had left him in tears,

His fifth set against Rafa lacked extra gears.

A sore back then kept him out of play,

So he had no titles ’til he stepped on clay. 

And who woulda thought he’d win in Spain?

With the country’s soil under Rafa’s reign.

They believed Fed’s game was in a rot,

But he had a new weapon – the droppa shot!

And with a straight sets win, his confidence soared

Roger headed to Paris for the next reward. 

At Roland Garros, few gave him a chance

With Rafa still in his clay monster trance. 

But the Yoker bludgeoned Rafa out,

The crowd cheered him on, it was quite a rout!

And Nole lost to Mister Techno

With a bagel, Murray too was Gonzo! 

Only Federer survived close shaves,

Suddenly the naysayers were giving raves:

‘It’s grit! It’s passion! It’s heart!’ they said. 

The same ones who thought the King was dead. 

With balls of steel, Fed fought with History, 

No one was going to deny him victory. 

On finals day, rain threatened to fall,

Mirka’s preggers, but sat through it all! 

6-1, 7-6, 6-4 was the score, 

As Fed sank to his knees with a roar.

His serve had pop, his droppers were clever,

JMac claimed he was the greatest ever! 

Meanwhile spare a thought for Rafa’s knees,

A smarter schedule next time, please? 

The Wimby crown he could not defend, 

But we moved on, the world did not end. 

Suddenly Fed could be Number 1 again,

With history on the line, there was much to gain. 

In London, the hype was Fed’s new jacket, 

Who cares? Roger talked with his racquet.

Federer was back to his effortless grace,

(And let’s not forget the smiley monkey face!)

In the final, we thought he’d soar,

Surely! He’s done it five times before.

But Roddick played like he had nothing to lose

While at times, Fed looked like he had no clues

But with fifty aces, he worked his magic,

To lose another epic would’ve been tragic. 

At last victory was Federer’s to savour, 

His wife didn’t have to go into labour!

 It seems like Roger had a date with fate, 

Which makes me wonder: what makes him so great? 

Many say his game is simply all class.

Monfils said it better: he’s just a pain in the ass! 

With the bub and the Cup, Fed’s on cloud 9,

But remember, ‘there is no finish line’.

For my previous work of poetry and gaiety, clickey

Images via Yahoo Eurosport UK & Ireland



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14 responses to “Picket Fence Laureate: Clearly I’ve got too much time on my hands”

  1. EP says :

    Haha I love it! =)

  2. rabbit says :

    Well, clearly.

    Haha, no, this was absolutely beautiful!!

  3. 2Hander says :

    Wicked poem, Dootsie…in fact I may even go as far to say it’s SICK!! (Don’t worry, it’s supposed to be a complement – but I think you know that by now! HAHA!!)

    Another thing just occurred to me, Fed did NOT get fazed by that stupid lunatic ‘fan’ who ran on court during the RG final! I would’ve cacked my pants!! It could have been any ole freakin lunatic…maybe even armed! Remember what happened to poor Monica Seles?! Poor moo was never the same after that…

    • dootsiez says :

      The lunatic fan was Jimmy Jump, apparently he specialises in these sort of stunts. The security should’ve been fired. If you watch the clip again, Pascal Maria the umpire was out of his seat and running towards Federer before the security even got on court. >:O

      Federer did concede that game at love right after the incident, and gave a few glances to Mirka. But in the grand scheme of things, he was so in the zone that day. I actually enjoyed his French Open performance more than Wimbledon.

  4. LongLiveKingRog says :


  5. mint says :

    that was amazing! luvd it

  6. Janko says :

    Dude, I just can’t give u enough credit via this one post… U just made a classic poem!! here’s my mail and send me whenever u get smtn new on roger… am a huge fan of rog,,and now of u too !

  7. Blue says :

    Beautiful poem! That summed up everything perfectly 🙂

  8. Mia says :

    You are wicked with the pen, … er, Macbook. Whatever. You rock.

  9. dootsiez says :

    ^ Thanks guys for the lovely feedback. Sometimes I sound totally like a children’s book writer! But hey, these are happy times 😀

  10. Denise says :

    LOL…..This is lovely! Keep it up please!

  11. diane says :

    nice one girl!

  12. Maria says :

    awww that was too good!! 😀 *saves in pc to show it to rest of family members 😀

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