Federporn Friday: Hair God? I don’t fink so?!

Yes! It’s Friday. The day of my glorified picspam/pornfest. There is no doubt that the Fed has the best hair in town. It’s the sort of hair that makes your fingers itch and want to twirl their way around each strand. Hmmm….

Where was I? 

The point is, the Fed hasn’t always had Godly hair.

In fact, he went through an “Agassi phase” in his life. Don’t get me wrong, mohawks were never his thing, but it took years for the Hair Divinity within him to emerge, and this post is a celebration of all that went wrong in the quest to find what was ultimately right. 

We start … with Blondie.

Don’t kid yourself Rog, you’re no Brad Pitt. 



And he knew that, so he went the other way with “Samurai Hair”, the closest thing he ever got to rebellion.



I blame it on Lundgren really. Clearly, he was a bad influence.



The ponytail had its heyday in men’s tennis back in times when Clinton romped the White House. It was never my thing, unless your name was Pat Rafter. But it did produce some “Garnier Fructis Moments“. 



And then one day, to our intense dismay, Roger discovered how to use a hair straightener



But soon he learnt he was destined for shorter hair, and ponytails were just as overrated as short shorts or shaved chests.

Or Hello Kitty leg-warmers. *looks away*



And then, the unthinkable happened: Roger thought it might be a good idea to get manbangs.

Roger thought wrong.



Thank God for Anna Wintour!

It took him years to find the Hair God, but here it is folks. Are you fingers itching yet?



Enjoy your Fridays!

xx doots 



17 responses to “Federporn Friday: Hair God? I don’t fink so?!”

  1. FortuneCookie says :

    Ha!Oh Fed,his hair is so awesome now it’s so easy to forget these shiteous looks!
    The blond was kinda appropriate for the time,he was more rebellious/listened to dance and house music etc,did you ever read that he was gonna dye it red for a laugh and Mirka banned him lol?I’m a proud redhead 😛 but GAWWWDDD NO!I might have to start being a Nole KAD or something if he ever does that!Okay,maybe not… 😉
    In his defence the man bangs look *was* kinda in for 20 something guys at the time,and done a bit better it could have looked kinda cute,but yeahhh that pic is NOT good!
    And congrats on surviving exam season! 🙂

    • dootsiez says :

      “In his defence the man bangs look *was* kinda in for 20 something guys at the time…”

      “kinda” being the operative word here. Plus that’s like manbangs with a midpart. *thrashes around in pain*

      • FortuneCookie says :

        Lol,for indie boys,which we can clearly see Roger fails miserably at trying to be 😛
        Yeah,the mid parting kills me a bit inside,awful!

  2. breadstix says :

    LOL! Never seen Rog’s man bangs before… wow. And doesn’t blonde!Roger look ever so young? Millions of fans around the world would be squirming in pain if he did that today ahaha.
    Methinks that samurai hair makes him look kinda adorkable… x3

  3. Lily says :

    As said Roger himself : “it’s killing me” !

    (OMG ! Blond hair ???).

  4. Liz says :

    These are hilarious! I must admit to liking the blond hair picture, just because he is such a cute little boy. Anna Wintour’s clean-up of the Fed must be her crowning achievement.

  5. Mia says :

    TMF’s rite of passage, you might say. Nice.

  6. JFK says :

    I wonder if Mirka introduced Fed to the hair straightener in those days? I love the last pic of the waves/curls with the bandana. Can you imagine running your fingers through that hot hair?

  7. Blue says :

    From awkward, zit faced teen to elegant, suave hair god. Very nice.

  8. meretricula says :

    ahahaha oh man. Mirka was the hotter person in that relationship for a LONG time. props to her for sticking with her man throughout his various hair-related disasters!

  9. judy says :

    don’t you know, blondes have more fun? 🙂 love the journey to hair god, though i’m surprised you didn’t use one of the madrid final pics for the end point. i think his hair was looking super fed fantastic during that tourny, with rafa making a pretty good case for himself too. 🙂

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