WTF Day 1: Would the Real Roger Federer please stand up?

Who was that guy that turned up in the first set to play Fernando Verdasco in London yesterday? Seriously, who was that?!

We all have different names for him – Fred, Federror, the Evil One, Ferd the turd – you know?! That guy who lives in Shanksville, double faults on important points, forehands flying into the stands, backhands falling in love with the net…

Roger, please banish Ferd. Extradite him to Mallorca. I do not want to see him for the rest of the tournament. 

Luckily for us, the psychic hold Ferd had over the Real Roger Federer started to lapse in the second set. Roger settled into his service games and began to find his range.

Nando had a small opening at 5-all 0-30. A missed pass, some solid play by Federer. “C’mon!” He yelled as he held. It was the first sign of positive body language from him all match.



Then at 15-all in the very next game, with shanked overhead, Verdasco was Verdasco again. Not the guy who was threatening to hand Roger Federer his third consecutive defeat, but a man who was only too aware his mortality, too daunted by the prospect of success. 

As Roger put it, 


“My first break points, I think I could have had them earlier if I played a bit earlier, but they came for set points, and it was a crucial moment for me because I knew the longer the match went, the more my belief was going up and his was going down. Then in the third, I was able to play more freely.”


With a break to start the third set, Roger’s tennis became more intuitive, making only 1 forehand unforced error in the last set compared to 14 in the first two sets. Meanwhile, Nando’s mind was ticking loud enough for me to hear all the way on the other side of the equator. With a total of 30 winners and 29 unforced errors (to 18 winners/31 unforced errors by Nando), Roger wrapped up the last set with a breadstick. 

That’s tennis for ya. One minute, Fernando Verdasco was 2 points away from serving out the match against the top seed, a few blinks later, he had lost 7 games in a row. 

Oh, don’t forget to say hi to Monkey. Hi Monkey, long time no see! 




‘Twas a day of  shoddy, tired tennis over in London, as Andy Murray also needed 3 sets to get by Juan Martin del Potro.

It was a scrappy match in which the momentum see-sawed between Muzz and Poop, but much like the Federer/Verdasco fiasco, the longer it went on, the more comfortable the higher ranked player became. It was Andy Murray who raced to an early lead in the decider. It was Andy Murray who kept applying pressure and ultimately closed out the match with a double break. 

Del Potro is 2-4 since the US Open, and one of his wins was by ways of a retirement. Yeah I’m not bitter at all. I’ll be even less bitter when he goes all “Ana Ivanovic” on us.




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20 responses to “WTF Day 1: Would the Real Roger Federer please stand up?”

  1. ChocolateAddict says :

    LOL! I swear I never noticed that Roger’s chest hair looks like a monkey 😀 I love your blog 🙂

  2. FortuneCookie says :

    Can’t read my,can’t read my,no he can’t read my monkey face… 😛

  3. breadstix says :

    Fred! Ahaha, that’s the first time I’ve heard that one. Ferd the turd. *sniggers*

    So glad he won.And hello to le monkey face.
    .. aah, monkey face. srsly. totally getting down to the o2 next year.

    • dootsiez says :


      Monkey face *worships*

      • breadstix says :

        Ack. Defo next year though, mark my words. I’ll be the crazed lady in the front rows screeching something incoherent about monkey faces.


        • FortuneCookie says :

          I REALLY wanna go next year!Could technically have gone this year but dates ended up not working out 😦
          However,I’m thinking Monkey Face banners with pics yeah?
          Doots,try and sneak one in when you’re working at AO! 😉

        • dootsiez says :

          I shall! Or rather I’m hoping I’ll be sneaking a few life sized things OUT. 😛

        • breadstix says :


          (cuz, y’know, totally not planning anything when I’m in london this wednesday. *cough*)
          Was planning to go this year too but everything ended up being too clashy. In all srsness, I should be able to go next year, so woohoo for us monkey face supporters. 😉

        • dootsiez says :


  4. you says :


  5. Jack says :

    Ferd the turd? – never heard that one before but i like it. Thank god he manished to banish him just in time or else we would be calling him far worse right now!

    Also, did u know nando is 1-12 against top ten players this year( his one win being murray at the aussie open). thats one hell of a crappy record!

    Kinda pissed DelPo lost because he kinda my 2nd fav player after Roger (don’t hate me for it :)). also, murray’s constant “cmons” and fist pumps are annoying, i mean, talk about overkill.

    • dootsiez says :

      LOL I love that the lone win came over Muzz.

      Nando has the tendency to turn into a mental midget when it comes to the tail end of things. It’s not going to help him in his career.

      I gotta say I was rooting for Muzz to win. Don’t like him, but he’s still the slightly more talented player in my books.

      • Jack says :

        I can’t even root for murray when its the davis cup. And i’m british!!
        Thats how much i dislike him.

        Also, will never forgive him for subjecting our ears to this:

  6. Paul says :

    You forgot Shanky, Shankerer, the Basel Bungler and ‘that Swedish c*nt’ ‘but he’s Swiss’ ‘Same thing!’

    • dootsiez says :

      Oi! No getting down on the great nation of Sweden, home of Robby Sod, who just took out Rafa to give Fed a nice cushy lead. 😛

      • Paul says :

        I wasn’t putting him down, I was quoting someone I know who once called Federer a Swedish c*nt, despite the fact he is…..Swiss.

        I friggin love Sweden, home of the great Henrik Larsson.

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