Year-End Wrap Pt 2: Dirt. Bloody Dirt.


The red dirt has always been good to Spain,
With the clay courts under Rafa’s reign.
The King of Clay looked right at home,
With titles in Monte Carlo and Rome
Meanwhile, Roger was making babies,
And marrying Mirka – it pleased the ladies. 

For the girls, the tour rankings were a hot mess
As no one was achieving much success
In Stuttgart, Kuzzy gathered some steam
A few titles would her record redeem.
But Safina won Madrid and was on a roll
To make the French Open her winning goal.

Meanwhile Madrid was Fed’s last chance
To win a title before the slam in France
To the final, Roger managed to sneak through
As Rafa and Nole staged Waterloo
4 hours of brilliance through which they battled
Rafa won, but both players were rattled. 

In the final, Roger was sublime
While many shots Rafa did mistime.
As Fed won his first title of the year
He went to Paris with momentum at his rear
But no one thought the dynamics would change
Roland Garros was still in Rafa’s range.

 

 

Yet Soderling came along, with ‘tude and dimple
And made beating Rafa on clay look simple. 
With flat strokes he bludgeoned Nadal off the court 
To score the biggest upset in this sport
Suddenly Federer had a draw so hollow
That no one predicted what would follow.

Haas and del Potro threw the kitchen sink,
While Dootsie needed some Kool-Aid to drink,
But Roger survived to have one more shot
To win the only slam that he had not.
No Jimmy Jumper was going stop him,
Soon he knelt in victory, tears to the brim.

The curse of the defending champs struck twice, 
As Vika beat Ana, the crowd wasn’t nice.
But Dinara Safina was still on track
Routing her opponents with all-out attack.
To win a slam would validate her career
If she could only get over the fear.

In the final, Sveta eagerly awaited
At least, her marbles she finally located.
With calm, her opponent’s ass she was kickin’ 
As Safina asked “why am I such a chicken?” 
Match point, double fault, Dina looked lethargic
But for Sveta, another slam couldn’t be more cathartic. 

At last, Fed and Kuzzy found redemption, 
While Borg’s hex on Rafa had no exemption
 Soon we found out about Rafa’s knees
That’s why he couldn’t play with his usual ease.
So what’s to come at Wimbledon next?
Let’s talk later, I have to write the text.

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3 responses to “Year-End Wrap Pt 2: Dirt. Bloody Dirt.”

  1. flo says :

    The “Aw”-shank Redemption?

  2. Yolita says :

    That was very clever!

    I enjoyed it very much.

  3. the mighty rose says :

    had to come out of lurkdom to declare that this is a brilliant piece of work and to bow to your awesomeness.

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