Down Under: Perth, I want your balls.


It’s Hopman Cup time, the tournament with diamond encrusted balls. One step closer to these prized trophies are Romania and Spain, having won their ties against Australia and the US of A respectively over the weekend. 

 

 

I remember going to a local stand-up comedy show a few years back. When the comedian brought up the name “Lleyton Hewitt”, the crowd booed. If we can’t find some love for him here in Aus, then what hope is there for Hewitt overseas? 

Fast-forward a few years and the Hewitt-hating normality I’ve come to know and love is crashing down on me. Instead of suing the ATP, making homophobic remarks and playing mind games with his opponents, Lleyton Hewitt has somewhat grown up.

These days, he seems to be more willing to spend his time investing in online retail stores, making babies with Bec, and generally doing inoffensive things such as milking what’s left of his career for all its worth.

And in all honesty, he doesn’t have to. No one’s stopping him from riding off into the retirement sunset a la Marat Safin. Perhaps we don’t give him enough credit for … actually loving this sport?

 

 

Unlike his compatriot Sam Stosur, Hewitt started his year with a win over Victor Hanescu in a dramatic third set tiebreak.

All credit to Hanescu, who served big, mixed in drop shots and volleys to make Hewitt run around like a rabbit. But Lleyton wouldn’t be Lleyton if he didn’t battle every match to the end of time. With Hanescu cramping and the Perth crowd fired up, there was only one result to expect. 

Romania however could depend on Sorana Cirstea to seal the tie. Not a fan of the Racoon eye make-up and slappy forehand, but you gotta admire the guts and fight from the girl. Looking done and dusted half way through the second set of her singles match, Cirstea took full advantage of a slight falter by Stosur, pumped herself up and took control of a match she had no business winning. 

Top 20 by the end of the year?

 

 

Maria Jose Martinez Sanchez, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?

I’m sure you’ll understand my newfound love for the girl, having missed her match against Serena at Roland Garros last year, it was my first time watching her.

And why wouldn’t you love her game? Beautiful service motion, one of the rare non-spastic ball tosses on the WTA tour. She’s an intelligent player with a good sense of knowing when to stay in the rally,  and when to move forward and unleash her array of doubles-savvy volleys on her opponents.

You don’t get a lot of players like her on the women’s tour these days. A breath of fresh air, as one might say. 

Is it any wonder then that MJMS and Tommy Robredo teamed up to defeat Oudin and Mr Chubby Sex?

Izzy, I love you. But you know you can’t serve at 77% and still lose the match, right? It’s a crime for someone with a serve like yours to volley that floppily. 

 

 

As Romania and Spain kicked off their quest for Perth’s balls, all the teams turned up to attend the annual Hopman Cup ball. Lena D looks beautifully bland, as always. 

 

 

Sabine hadn’t realised Halloween was almost 3 months ago.

 

 

I keep a mental list of players who are either of the same height or shorter than me. Melanie Oudin belongs in the former category. Kimiko Date Krumm in the latter. 

John Isner belongs in neither.

 

 

Sorana. Beautiful.

 

 

When I was 15, I was still waiting for boobs to arrive. Frick you. 

 

 

Shave. Wear a tie. Tuck your shirt in. And stop looking like a hobo.

 

 

Tommy Rob shows Mandy how it’s done. 

 

 

Sammy. Aww. Sammy. 

 

 

Lleyton and new coach Nathan Healy.

 

 

What I wouldn’t give to be in Perth right now … 

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6 responses to “Down Under: Perth, I want your balls.”

  1. Jack says :

    What’s racoon eye make up?? Me confused!!

  2. breadstix says :

    JIsner’s tall… wow…

  3. Dani says :

    Long shot dootsiez but you wouldn’t have the martina/roger 2000 party pics

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