Down Under: Get on UP. When you’re DOWN.

“Roger Federer is the only reason I would get up this early on a Sunday,” declared my friend, as she queued up at Federation Square at 8am this morning to get ourselves some tickets to “Hit for Haiti”.

But boy, it was worth it. For starters, my friend finally realised her dream of making-it-into-Roger-Federer’s-pants-but-failing-that-see-him-live.

You can see why she was the perfect person to go with, hey? (Yes, after many months of solitary confinement, Federbear – “Plonk Plonk” – was let out of the cupboard.)



But beyond that, it was a fun day of tennis, light-hearted banter, spontaneous comedy from the players and most of all – it was for a good cause

While Roger was only able to get his message out around news time the previous evening, Melbournians (and our visitors) embraced the event. There were a few hundred people lining up at Federation Square early morning, while Rod Laver Arena was filled to a respectable 80%. 

They don’t call us the sports capital for nothin’.



The exhibition line-up was divided into two teams

  • Team Red: Serena, Sam Stosur, Lleyton and of course, Feddy me teddy. 
  • Team Blue: Rafa, Djoko, Kimmie, and Randy 
  • Chair Umpire: Jim “hey-I’m-just-reading-the-scoreboard-like-you-are” Courrier











Lleyton and Randy left after a few games to go to their actual practice, and Bernard Tomic made a last minute appearance during the tiebreak. Was it a coincidence that he only came on after Lleyton left? Hrrrmmmm.

My own photo. 🙂



The participants were miked up, which became a constant source of comedic amusement. It only took 2 games for Randy to argue with a linesman about a “footfault” and reduce Serena into a fit of giggles; while Roger feigned grumpiness after being told by Randy to challenge a call, declaring to a chuckling crowd that “hawk-eye doesn’t work anyway.”

After a pause, he apologised, “sorry guys. I just had to let it out.”

And didn’t you have ta! 



Oh, and he only attempted to ‘the hotdog’ about 50 times.




Rafa had a chance to show his dorky side too, as he went through mock crises of confidence throughout the match. “Too much prrrrrrreesure. You serrrerereve.” He muttered to Kim at 30-all in their service game.

And then there was THIS.



And this! 



Nole pretended to be a girl, and hence took quite a few hits from Serena, while I’ll never look at Roger Federer the same way again, after some of the disturbing grunts he faked during the match. “ROOAAAAR! ROOOOOZAH! WHEEEEWSH!”

What are you? Five? 



For a while, everyone from the Red and Blue teams got on court and they played “mixed triples“!



While play continued, Roger went and sat down treacherously next to Rafa in the Blue Team and the pair had a chat.

Needless to say, the two of them broke my voice, and I broke the ear drum of the person in front of me.



But what I enjoyed the most about the day was the same as what I’ve always enjoyed about going to the tennis – being surrounded by fans of the sport.

Tennis has always been perceived as a somewhat “snooty”, “country-club” type sport. It’s also an individualist sport – even in doubles, you’re only working with one other person. To add to that, we spend so much of our time reading tennis news over the internet and gossiping with the cyber-fandom that sometimes, we forget that tennis fans are all around us.

As always, it was a joy to realise just how much mass-appeal this sport of ours has. Sitting alongside other fans always overwhelm me with a feeling of pride – I loved to listen to their conversations on tennis, and to share with them my opinions and that special feeling of being humbled by the presence of the sporting greats like Federer, Nadal and Serena. 

Special mention to fellow Melbournian and Federer fan PJ, who found me because of my gigantic white hat! 

Took a picture of the Federer Express Gang. Those guys are getting famous!



Mad props to all the players, in particular to Fed, for their efforts on the eve of a grand slam. That he was able to take the initiative with so little notice and pull it off with such success speaks volumes for his character, leadership and sense of responsibility.

Oh Rog, you know I’m totally your bitch, right? 

Likewise, to all the participants – Rafa, Nole, Randy, Lleyton, Sam, Bernie, Serena, Kim – it was refreshing to see all of them put their career concerns aside on such short notice to help those in need.  


With the $10 entry fee and the money collected in donation buckets during the match, the event managed to raise around $200,000 for the earthquake ravaged nation of Haiti. The WTA, ATP, Tennis Australia and Maria Sharapova also made donations to the cause. 

Would you like to help the people of Haiti? WOULD YOU?! Well here you go!

Cough up, guys – one of my tennis superstitions is to make a donation to charity before a slam. It’s more humane than sacrificing a goat, no? Perhaps you should try it. 

Lastly – I know a few of you are coming to the Australian Open this week, I’d love to hear your reports via email or comments! Fan photos for Federporn Friday and other players’ picspams are also welcomed! I’ll be around Melbourne Park every day, so email/DM me and we shall toast to Roger’s puny left arm or Rafa’s ass. Whichever one takes your fancy.

For more of my pictures from today, clickey

WHEEWWW! I’ll shut up now.

xx doots

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28 responses to “Down Under: Get on UP. When you’re DOWN.”

  1. hannahjoanna12 says :

    That looks like SO much fun, I wish I could have been there!

    Amazing of Federer to organise something like this at such short notice. His charity work is so admirable.

    (Just to say, I love this blog! I’ve been a lurker on here for a long time and finally decided to comment! You have such a great sense of humour and as a Federer fan I DO enjoy the picspams… :-))

  2. FortuneCookie says :

    Just watched a load of highlights,and am still raging jealously lol!
    Roger’s grunting was hilarious,but made me slightly concerned for what Mirka has to contend with,uh,behind closed doors…Actually I lie,I’m not concerned,more jealous? 😛
    Loads of people have been saying they should release it on DVD,which would be great,even more money for the people of Haiti! 🙂

  3. Mia says :

    Enjoyed every minute of it. Loved the photos. Tee-hee, have to give it to the organizers re how they engineered the Hewitt-Tomic switch.

    • dootsiez says :

      Not only the Hewitt/Tomic switch, but Clijsters and Lleyton were on different teams and Lleyton left before Kim took the court.


  4. whynotme says :

    I can’t even find the words to say how much this was awesome!! You guys in Melbourne have been really lucky. But serious props to all of you for having nearly filled the stadium in less than 24 hours! And serious props also to Roger’s leading abilities, he never stops amazing me! Even the gals at heartsetmatch finally found something nice to say about him LOL!

    Anyway they seriously need to make that an yearly event. Just chose a different charity/cause each year. I think the AO is the best major to do so, 1st one of the year, everybody happy to start fresh, great crowd, great weather, amazing atmosphere (for some reason I don’t see that kind of event happening at Wimbledon LOL).

    And doots thanks a lot for the on-site report! Hope there will be some more for the AO 😀 Enjoy your week anyway, should be fun!

  5. Dippy says :

    I wish I could be in Melbourne right now. Watched the highlighted on YouTube. Really wicked of Roger to grunt all the way and make funs of the hawk eye. Agree with ‘whynotme’ AO should do it on yearly basis, different charity each year.

  6. LongLiveKingRog says :

    YOU ARE SO LUCKY!!!!! and AWESOME onsite report!!!!! Love Roger’s pushup and grunting! And just the site of him and Rafa together makes me smile!
    Agree with whynotme, I just cannot see this happening at Wimby. People are too ‘proper’ here in this country. I think the exo for testing the roof is as close as the Brits can bear… !

  7. breadstix says :

    Oh wow, that looked AMAZING! Adn the entrance was only $10, aaahhh Roger should come to the UK and do the same thing as well. xD

    AND LOL! What is Rafa doing to that poor woman?! Hehehe, looks like so much fun. It’s great to see the players letting their hair down before the first slam of the year, and props to Feddypoop for organising something like this in such a short amount of time. Thanks for the report, doots! 😀 And hope ya enjoy the next two weeks. So jealous of you atm, hahaha!

  8. Jack says :

    Only one word to describe this: AWESOME!!! Totally worth staying up till 5am to watch it!

    It was so much fun to see them having fun and cracking jokes out there. Usually we only see them with their game faces on. Loved everything about it from Roger grunting to Sam hitting Novak in the nuts.
    I may even be starting to like Novak!!! 🙂

    All the players deserve praise for taking part, especially Roger. Even if you don’t like him, you’ve gotta admire him for what he did here and all the humanatarian work he does. Also, kudos to Masha for donating $10,000.

    I agree with whynotme, they should definitely try to do something like this each year. The players have fun, its fun to watch, it brings in the crowds and the atmosphere is amazing. Plus it was a great way to start the tournament and it was for a good cause.

    Random side note: doots, are you quoting 5ive in the title??

    • whynotme says :

      You actually stayed up until 5am?! Wow! I chose to sleep and then wake up rather, I couldn’t have stayed up! Well anyway I think we’re nearly all up for 2 weeks of huge sleep deprivement… And the worst part is: I actually have exams this week, FML!!

      • Jack says :

        I can’t believe I stayed up until 5am too!!! But it was the best exho I’ve ever seen and it featured most of my favourite players. Plus like you said, we’re in some major sleep deprivation so might as well get a head start :D. Wierd thing is though, after the match finished, I wasn’t tired!!!

        Also, know how you feel regarding exams. They’re a pain in the ass!!! Thankfully mine finish on Thursday but I’ll still probably miss Roger’s 1st and 2nd round matches 😦

    • dootsiez says :

      5ive? Oh yeth.

      90s/early noughties music gives me the warm fuzzies.

  9. Lily says :

    I’m watching some highlights on youtube. It’s so fun !

    I love your photos. I’m sure it’s an event you’ll remenber during your all life !

    It’s wonderful watching them just having fun without the pressure of a real match.

    The next Ferderporn Friday is easy : more and more gruntings !

  10. Blue says :

    I just saw it online, I can imagine how much more fun it must have been live. A tennis enthusiast’s dream come true. How cute was that point with grunting? And Nole being a masseur to Andy? lol

  11. pban says :

    So very jealous of you right now doots,I am yet to see it online but I can imagine how much fun it would have been. Kudos to Roger and his gang of merry men and women for organising something like this just a day before a slam especially Rafa, Randy and Kim who all have matches on Monday 🙂

  12. Chairman, Federer Puny Left Arm Society says :

    The most important issue of the day:

    Does anyone know what Aussie Kim was doing on Rafa’s thigh?

  13. JFK says :

    I’m so glad you got to go Doots! And happy you freed your Federbear from the cabinet :DThis was the best exho I’ve ever watched. I loved every minute of it. It was so great to see tennis stars and the fans get to together and on such short notice raise so much money for the victims.

  14. grace says :

    Doots you are really lucky, loving your photos and all the event.Roger as always an unique human being!

  15. PJ says :

    Yay! I was totally waiting for this post 😀 I think we’re in COMPLETE agreement about the sheer awesomeness and complete WIN of this amazing amazing event. My friends and I emptied our wallets into the donation buckets and it was just so full of joy doing so.

    Feddykins doing the hotdog 45667435 times completely cracked me up….the complete fail of some made me chuckle but at least he made one good one where Rafa smacked it into the net. Also how awesome was Roger v Hawk-Eye and his self-proclaimed ”awesome smash” and the grunting and OMGOMG ROGER/RAFA COSY CHAT FTW. AND THEN ROGER SAID “VAMOS RAFA” *FANGIRLS*

    My only small complaint was that I was sitting in front of a group of Serbian fans who booed when Fedy came out but that lasted for like 5 minutes cos when everything kicked off, everyone is awesome. Even Djoker, whom I used to want to throw bricks at, like really badly.

    Sammy didn’t get a lot of talking done…have a feeling she wasn’t as chummy with the rest of them. I was kinda sad A-Rod left early because he would’ve been hilarious (I can imagine him responding to Fed’s comment about how Nadal makes him hit backhands and go down the line: If you knew how he was gonna play you, how come you still lose to this guy? muahahha).

    But it was amazing and I’m so happy we raised so much for Haiti. It was touching to see the two Haitians come out with their flag but also so sad. Really hope the country will be able to get back on their feet soon.

    And yay for big white hats that sets Doots aside from the rest! 😀

    I’ll be going for all the night matches for R1 and R2, and also night match for QF. Praying to Tennis Gods for good scheduling…I don’t wanna end up watching Tomic or something while Fed plays morning session (damn you work and study). Hopefully I’ll see you around Rod Laver…will tweet! ^~

  16. debbii says :

    Ohemgeee! Sounds like you had an awesome time! I’ll be keeping in touch with the ao whilst I’m at work and spend every night in front of the tele! Thanks for the recap!


  17. Jodi says :

    This was pretty much the greatest single day of my life.

    That is all.

  18. roadrunnerz says :

    I caught some footage on YouTube and it looked like an awesome event!

    Godo fun for a good cause. Not that we need more reasons why Federpoop rocks, but if we did, him putting this event together would be one. Good on ya, Rog.

    Rafa was ADORABLE and Nole seems tailor-made for stuff like this.

    Wish I could’ve been there!

  19. Joanna says :

    If I lived in Melbourne I would have been there without a doubt, sucks to live in Sydney sometimes.

  20. izzie says :

    Thank you for sharing these with us. I have been a regular reader of your blog for a while now but only decided to leave a comment now.

    Great job as always, keep up the good work!

  21. xta says :

    oh, doots — i WAS THERE, too !!! i was taking a ride on the free city circle tram that morning and couldn’t help but notice all the folks at fed square…maybe you were there…luckily there was not such a line for tickets at melbourne park…and i missed your big white hat at the hit or i would have made a point of saying “hi”…i do have a pretty nice picture of rafa’s miked bum, but don’t have the facility here (in the hotel) for getting pics from my phone or camera…when i get back home i’ll forward it…
    yesterday (and night) (monday) rod laver — today, hisense…
    (melbourne is beautiful — reminds me a lot of san francisco…)

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