Monday Musings: Miami slumbers.


1. Excuse the lack of coverage of the Miami finals. As always, the long weekend has put me into a slightly inebriated food coma. But I’m awake now and awake to a rather anti-climatic world order, it seems.

Once Roger, Rafa, Justine and Bobby Sod were out of the tournament, Miami was officially dead to me, and watching Kim and Randy wrap up the Spring hard courts in style became the final nail in the coffin.

Nothing against the winners of course. They both happen to be two players I don’t particularly care for, yet can’t bring myself to actively dislike. For all my ‘disinterest’ in Randy and Kimmy, they’re both – to borrow a rather misused Aussie slang – fair dinkum: genuine, down-to-earth and honest. Two players whose games can only be described as “solid”, as opposed to devastating, orgasmic, or beautiful.

But of course, tennis has never been about aesthetics. Even for the the snooty Federer and Henin fans out there in here.

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2. When it comes to Clijsters 2.0, her implosions these days seem to be triggered mostly by the unrelenting stares of Justine Henin. There was no sign of that bewildered, error-prone semifinalist on Saturday, as Clijsters stamped out Venus’ winning streak with a 62 61 victory.

Yet as solid as Kim was, it was Venus who played in instrumental part in the outcome of the match. Key stat – of the 55 points that Clijsters on, 30 came on unforced errors by Venus. In her own words:

“It wasn’t my best day,” Williams said. “She played extremely solid, but it’s not like I was blown off the court. Unfortunately I was my own worst enemy.”

“Today wasn’t my best day physically,” she said. “To fight errors and not feel your best, it’s a mental battle.”

And in that mental battle, Venus lost comprehensively.

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3. For Andy Roddick, his semifinal against Nadal was the first time I’ve seen him play “smart” tennis.

“Smart” is a problematic word to describe tennis. It seems that these days, “smart tennis” is merely a euphemism for “pusherama”. Whenever a player starts sending loopy balls and innocent-looking slices over the net, their IQs immediately surge.  By that definition, the ATP just got a lot smarter over the last year and a half.

For now more than ever, we’re seeing more defensive, teasing play on all surfaces. And you know it bears the true hallmark of a trend when the likes of Roddick and Berdych find success in it.

But what Randy did against Rafa was more than excessive defense – he attacked. More precisely, he knew when to attack, took his chances, and executed his offensives with efficiency. And against Berdych on Sunday, Roddick did the exact opposite. He teased the big man with slices and loopy forehands, prodding Birdy with a stick until he flailed in frustration.

In short, it was the kind of approach to tennis we’re more used to seeing from the other Andy. But for now, because Randy’s winning, we’re calling it thoughtful, clever tennis.

And all my trashy musings aside, a well deserved win. Congratulations to Roddick, here’s to Week 2 at Roland Garros.

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4. It’s a measure of the severity of this spring tennis cluster fuck that I found Roger’s pants at his lunch date with Elin more amusing than either of the Miami finals. (Although truth be told, I do take a special interest in Roger’s pants)


Equally pathetic, what does it say about our societal stereotypes that a woman experiencing marriage troubles cannot dine casually with her friends without it depicted as some marriage therapy session where she finds “solace” (clickey).

To make matters worse, the New York Post couldn’t even be bothered to fact-check when Miami started.

As serial sex addict Tiger Woods prepared to break his golf hiatus at the Masters, his scorned wife was breaking bread with another sports great yesterday.

Elin Nordegren lunched with tennis ace Roger Federer, 28, and his wife, Mirka, in Miami.

The Federers, who brought their twin girls, Myla Rose and Charlene Riva, are in the Sunshine State for the Sony Ericsson Open, which kicks off tomorrow. Nordegren brought her 1-year-old cub, Charlie.

The group dined poolside in the shade at an exclusive hotel on posh Key Biscayne.

The worst of all? The Feds had both the Mighty Babes in BROAD DAYLIGHT and NO ONE GOT A SINGLE SNAP?

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5. New rankings are out for this weeks.

Movers and groovers: Rafa (+1 to 3), Randy (+1 to 7), Venus (+1 to 4), Lady Jaja (+2 to 7), Clijsters (+6 to 10), Henin (+10 to 23), Youzhny (+2 to 13), Birdy (+4 to 16), Baggy (+3 to 30).

A minute of silence for the fallen: Mandy (-1 to 4), Bobby Sod (-1 to 8), Vika (-2 to 9), Sveta (-1 to 5), Kleybs😦 (-4 to 26), Sharapova (-2 to 14), AChak (-8 to 83!).

Mentioning rankings, no count-downs please. I could do without jinxes for a while – the lovely Mia tweets that Roger Federer is 10 weeks away from Sampras’ record, but with a slam and 3 Masters in between, nothing is certain. Start frazzling my lovelies!

Last but not least, to our Christian brethren and sisters, happy Easter.

To the rest of my fellow atheist heathens, happy Chocolate Day! Here’s to a Nestle Free weekend.😀

xx doots

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24 responses to “Monday Musings: Miami slumbers.”

  1. Paul says :

    I am hearing through the grape vine that Rog has taken a WC to MC. Fingas crossed.

    Also Federer is guarenteed number 1 for 285 weeks, one shy of the Sampras record. It is a mathematical certainty that he gets to 285, unless he asks the ATP to remove him from the rankings, so it is only a case of keeping number one until after RG (which is where he can next lose it) and the record is his, no countdown required.

    And unless Roger collapses or Novak, DelP or Murray eat up just about every clay tournament going, he will get the record. That is 1 of them wins everything, not the 3 sharing them.

    Happy zombie jesus day to you to.

    • dootsiez says :

      I dunno, he played 5 out of a possible 12 matches in the US. If he decides to fuckwit his way through the clay season, he could enter Roland Garros with just over 1000 points lead, no?

      And if he has a freak fourth round upset (touch wood), that puts Rafa in a position to take No 1 should he win, no?

      It could happen. DON’T JINX IT, YOU … MCHAGGIS, YOU!

      Also, it seems that the media is working under the assumption that Fed will take a wild card to MC. Dunno if that assumption is based on anything substantial.

      • Paul says :

        McHaggis :mclol:

        Even if he does lose it at RG, which he won’t, it is a cumulative record and all he needs to do is get it back for 2 weeks!

        • dootsiez says :

          True. And Rafa has about 2000 points to gain at Wimbledon. Fed’s defending Toronto and final at the US Open. Once he loses it, it won’t be easy to get back at all.

        • Paul says :

          I would bet my house that is he loses it at RG, it won’t be to Rafa.

          If you want to look at it like a year end ranking, which start after last years RG (RG 09 not inclusive) then currently the points stand at Federer 7330-3700 Nadal.

          Consider Nadal’s current mental state, even against his abilities on clay, he is not clawing that difference back over the clay season, not without Federer gaining close to nothing.

          And if Federer gains that little at such an important time, then he doesn’t deserve the record.

  2. pban says :

    Which grapevine is that Paul ,MC is the only masters he can attempt to gain points and the retard decides to skip it….who does his maths anyway?? *fingers crossed*

  3. raindelaysplay says :

    I’ve lived in Australia for 6 years and you’re the very first person I’ve heard mention the whole ethical issue of Nestlé in all that time. I’ve avoided all that is Nestlé since the baby milk fiasco (early/mid 90’s?) but it’s been an uphill task explaining why to people here… one of the joys of inhabiting the Deep North perhaps? Anyway, good on yer Doots. Hope someone bought you a nice Lindt bunny / Cadbury bilby. Happy Chocolate Weekend!

    • dootsiez says :

      Hey Raindp,

      I do a bit of work for the Australian branch of “Stop the Traffik”, and Nestle is notorious for the use of child labor and human trafficking in their chocolates. My experience in Melb has been that a lot of people are remotedly aware of Nestle’s corporate conduct but don’t get active about it. Of course, once you see some real life reports, it changes the your position ethically.

      Good to see we share the same political views!😀

  4. Nilhenwen says :

    I loled so hard at the pants comment. When I saw it… I did think “that’s a very pink outfit Roger”. Though you know what they say, it takes a real mn to wear pink. =P
    Though epic fail at the lack of Roger!babies photos, but aside from that, yay to Roger’s shorts =D Too bad there wasn’t a full shot of them either.
    Though I think I commented on the actual article about the whole “solace” thing. Saying how insane and rude and… sad really it was to even suggest it. A bit of an insult to her I would say.

  5. sita says :

    Please tell me the MC rumours are true. The day he lost to Berdych , I was somehow confident he’s gonna take a wild card to MC.
    Fingers crossed….

    Did you see the new Fed pic in that cool tee which he was earlier seen examining when Rafa had it on before Hit-for-Haiti ?
    Me thinks he borrowed those shorts and pink shirt from Rafa along with this one😉

    Don’t even get me started on the paparazzi. They seriously need to take lessons from the Chinese tourists and that i-accidentally-tweeted-fedbaby-pics fan from Dubai😀

  6. srdjana says :

    Finals weekend was pretty boring. But I am a relatively new fan of both Berdych and Roddick, so I watched. I couldn’t bear Venus getting slaughtered by Kim and turned off the television at 4-0 in the second set.

  7. TGIF says :

    Here is a somewhat better view of the pink outfit:

  8. jfk says :

    So so so happy for Pandy. His first Masters title in 4 years!! And Kim demolished V in under an hour. What the hell?

  9. Mia says :

    Thanks for the anti-jinx, Doots. A thinking out loud moment it was, that tweet yesterday. And am frazzling already, on top of occasionally blasting Fed for failing to, at least match last years semis points in IW/KB. Not only is the Sampras record co close but Fed’s #1 ranking is also under immediate assault. A rock and a hard place it is for Fed fans. Is the MC wild-card to totally out of the picture?

  10. girl_from_mi says :

    The only thing that could make that Fed outfit any more ‘stylish’ would be if here were wearing his black sox and black nike’s with it.

    also, paparazzi FAIL for not showing us those babies!

  11. roadrunnerz says :

    I just saw a Blick article and I caught a couple of baby pics there. Not sure which baby though, lol.

    http://www.blick.ch/people/schweiz/federers-troesten-tigers-frau-144087

    That said…Mirka SO looks like she has a baby bump in the second pic!

    And what was Fed thinking with the shorts in the last pic!

    :-0

    I think it’s kinda cool and interesting that they’re with Elin not Tiger.

    And lastly, I confess I’ve always had a soft spot for Andy R. Yeah, he doesn’t exactly play beautiful tennis but I always root for him as long as he’s not playing Fed or Stan. So I’m super happy he got another Master’s title.

    And if Fed doesn’t make it to the Wimby finals, I’m totally on Team Andy.

    • dootsiez says :

      “And if Fed doesn’t make it to the Wimby finals, I’m totally on Team Andy.”

      GO TOUCH WOOD NOW! *frazzles*

      Also, AMAZING baby pics. Trusts the Swiss paparazzi to come up with the goods.

  12. Ching says :

    Gosh, the Miami trophy is so ugly. It’s like a giant milkshake pigout dish. Hey Dot, how about an entry on ugly trophies???

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