GO PUG YOURSELF ROGER FEDERER.


I yell at Roger a lot. I beat him with a stick because as a fan, IT’S MY DEMOCRATIC FANDOM RIGHT. If I wanted someone to mollycoddle, I would’ve been a fan of Ana Ivanovic.

But there’s a difference between working oneself into an explosive rage when Fed loses to Del Potro at the US Open and when he loses on a dinky court in Estoril to Montanes.

The former calls for Federbear abuse. Exhibit A:

The latter calls for many pug faces. Exhibit B, C, D, E …

5 Step plan to reconciling with Federloser:

1. Stay away from fanforums (read: MTF, TennisWorld etc). The former is filled with the worst of Tennis Fandom. The latter has in equal measures incredibly insightful posters and hysterical morons, which you think you can deal with, but alas – you overestimate your ability to scroll. You do.

2. Patience is a virtue. Roger claims he’s waiting for “good things around the corner”, by “good things”, I’m assuming he means 3 wins in a row and not just the hilarious shape of Myla’s poop.

But while patience is a virtue, it’s also a virtue I don’t have, so I’m going to ask this in a whisper: is something wrong? Beyond his tennis that is.

We’ve dismissed too many a losses to the lack of motivation outside the slams, but this has nothing to do with motivation. In fact, motivation is the least of Fed’s problems right now: dude wants to win, that much is clear.

But this leads to the inevitable question – how did Fed lose his timing completely from the Australian Open to Indian Wells? And why did this problem persist despite all the efforts he went through in training?

But of course, all these questions are pointless. If there is something wrong with Fed, we’d never know about it until he gets it under control. ‘Cause that’s just how he rolls.

Patience. *STABS PILLOW WITH A PEN HOWLING*

3. Be like a Serena Williams fan.

As a long-time Serena fan, I’ve acquired the ability to laugh off non-slam losses, knowing that if there is one thing Serena and Roger have in common, it’s resilience. Think you’ve got them this time, Locker Room? Your stage is just their dress rehearsal. You ain’t even seen their stage yet.

4. Watch the Australian Open 2010 again. Or Roland Garros 2009. Or Wimbledon 09. Or scintillating Cincinnati.

In fact, watch anything in the last 12 months, apart from the period between Aus Open 2010 and now, and you’ll realise that actually, life ain’t so bad.

4. Channel your angst. The only positive I take away from a Federer loss is that he sends me into a workaholic frenzy. Corporations Law, you’re no Montanes or Baghdatis, you’re not even a Gulbis. You’re just an ANDY MURRAY. CONQUER I SHALL! *thunderbolt and lightning, very very fright’ning*

5. No Federporn Fridays until further notice. By “until further notice”, I mean “until Dootsie doesn’t feel like a pug anymore”.

Comfy blanket pwease.😦

xx doots

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30 responses to “GO PUG YOURSELF ROGER FEDERER.”

  1. Mia says :

    But methinks he’s having a crisis of motivation for non-Slam events – the desire to win is there but at the end of the day, tracking a shot in a MM event vs. a grand slam event deep in the 5th are two different ballgames. Having set the bar for his sport – and still moving it – it’s understandable why the enthusiasm ebbs and flows, depending on events and their importance. He has given much to the sport and to me as a fan – even as I may feel like rapping him with a racket over the head for inexplicable losses such as this – so I’ll give him a pass once I get over my fit.

    • dootsiez says :

      I dunno. There’s a difference between a loss of motivation and 30 unforced errors in a set. Or maybe there isn’t, since there’s never been for Serena.

      If Fed would like to be Serena from now on, I’m okay with it, but I think he’s struggling, and not with his motivation. And it’s busting his morale as much as it’s busting mine.

  2. Ann says :

    Watching the replay now and it’s not as bad as it seems. Whatever’s wrong, Fed’s getting it under control. Not so many outright shanks, UFEs are at least getting close to the lines. And Montanes played well. Yeah, Fed should have won, but overall he’s not playing so badly. He just took too long to settle in and let some routine BPs in set 2 slip away. But it’s not the total train wreck of, say, Miami. I’m choosing to think positive.

    • dootsiez says :

      Dunno … at least he won a set in Miami. *grumbles* I mean the first set was a total train wreck. Not too bad in the second set, but he just had no adrenaline, sure this is only Estoril, but he needed a win here and he knew it.

      *STABS PILLOW WITH PASSION*

  3. cecilia says :

    😦

    super SAD

    damn those UE
    so erratic
    ARGH

  4. pban says :

    I am scared guys, at first I thought it would pass but I am not so sure now.2008 and 09 there was a physical reason for his timing to be off but whatever it is now is far more intangible or perhaps Roger isn’t telling all. I want this to be over ,it is getting painful reading about him peforming harakiri during matches.

    • dootsiez says :

      This reminds me of Rafa late last year – all round craphouse tennis. Headed into WTF knowing he was going to get KOed match after match, and in fact did.

      He’ll rein it back. I hope so anyway.

  5. pban says :

    djoko is out of Madrid does this ensure that we are safe from the possibility of a Fedal semi in RG….. keyword here being possibility since Roger is not exactly inspiring much belief

    • meretricula says :

      I tried to do the math, and if I did it all correctly, the points Novak loses by themselves aren’t enough to drop him below Rafa, but if Rafa wins Madrid he takes over the #2 spot again. (I’m beginning to wonder if he put a curse on it to deal with any usurpers… the slumps Mandy and Nole have gone through after taking it from him have been ugly.)

      • dootsiez says :

        Oh really? Someone else told me that Rafa only needed to make the finals. Doesn’t matter, I’m sure Nadal will win Madrid and Roland Garros.

  6. pban says :

    Rafa is 490 pts behind Nole and Nole stands to lose 350 pts in Madrid plus the 205 pts he lost in Belgrade should safely see Nadal back at 2 after Madrid since he is going to win there anyway.

  7. LadyofShalott says :

    I feel pretty concerned about Roger’s striking lack of form going into his defences of Madrid and RG. I keep hoping that Fed will be able to reign it back in and start to click, but he is cutting it too fine. I am not sure how to explain this form other than that he is not playing enough tournaments in my view and the nagging feeling I got when I read a few months back about his lung infection. I thought then that, having just regained good movement and timing at the Aussie Open, that somehow it would throw him (training etc) off – it’s all a delicate balance, I think. I don’t buy into these arguments that he doesn’t care about smaller events anymore. Of course, the slams are what matter to Roger, but I cannot imagine he finds it acceptable to play at such a level as he did yesterday. Oh, and thanks for the head-ups about the forum craziness – I haven’t got time for that today, so I better avoid them!

    • dootsiez says :

      I’m with ya LOS, I don’t buy that he doesn’t care about the smaller events anymore either – he’s practically dragging the entire clan around the world, from Dubai to the US and then to Europe JUST so that he can play.

      I don’t know if it’s the lung infection, but he’s definitely had way too long off the tour in the middle of a tennis season. Gotta keep playing to get match tough.

      • LadyofShalott says :

        Roger’s schedule for the first part of this year was not that different from that of last year (save for Monte Carlo/Estoril), but not making it deep into tournaments is realy hurting him from a match fitness point of view. And the draw for Madrid is not kind either (well in his current form anyway) – Wawrinka in the third round (I think) and it gets worse from there.😦

  8. grace says :

    Even though I´m disappointed when you look at it
    Roger still has won the most important tittle of the season so far.Plus we were in a worst situation last
    year and the next two months turned out fine.Go Roger!

    • dootsiez says :

      I dunno. Last year, Roger may be losing, but he made a final and a bunch of semis and didn’t have a problem with the nobodies. This year, he’s done alright against the top 10, it’s more like the 30-50 bracket that we need to worry about. And normalcy in my tennis universe depends on him being able to win those matches.

  9. sita says :

    I don’t know what to feel at the moment. Should I mentally prepare myself for an early loss at at RG ?(kissing the SF streak and the #1 record goodbye) That looks a lot easier.

    But don’t forget what it was like from last year’s USO to AO , he didn’t win a title and put us through a bunch of WTF matches – and then miraculously played himself into form at the AO.
    Am I being overtly optimistic in hoping for a similar miracle ?

  10. Puffin says :

    Personally, I don’t think it’s lack of motivation with Roger – he definitely wants to win tournaments – any tournament at the moment! He said, after losing yesterday, that his movement was slow and that he lacks confidence in his movement. Yes, it was cold, damp and windy, but in “normal” circumstances this shouldn’t have affected him so much. To me this sounds like he has again had (and maybe still having) a physical problem with his back/spine. Roger is obviously working through things but it will take a little time.😦

    • dootsiez says :

      Hi Puffin, I have a sneaking suspicion there might be some physical problems going on too, but I don’t think it’s the back.

      Usually, the back affects his serve and so far, he’s been serving okay, even in his losses.

      • TGIF says :

        I dunno. Some RF.commers who were at the Estoril matches thought he wasn’t arching his back on the serve as much as he used to. (a person made this comments after one of the wins, not after the loss)

        Well, as we all know, we’ll never really know ’til Roger thinks it’s fixed.

  11. ruanz3 says :

    Hilarious post. Made me feel instantly better!🙂

    Ru-an

  12. Ru-an says :

    I suppose i should at least leave me link haha😆

  13. Jack says :

    Someone has been doing some serious voodoo shit on Roger! Obviously, we know something is wrong when he loses to guys like Montanes. I don’t know whether its a confidence thing or a physical thing….but lately, there’s just been something off with him.

    Being a Masha fan, I’ve realised that nothing is worse than being off the tour for 10 months with injury.But its still not fun when he loses. I think i’m more dissapointed with how he lost, than the loss itself. Its the countless UE’s, and listless play that’s slightly worrying. But if anyone can turn it around, then Roger can!

    So I’m gonna go all Ivanovic on you and stay positive! I mean, I don’t think we were that confident he’d win the AO but he did!

    Who knows, maybe we’ll get a really good case of deja-vu!

  14. breadstix says :

    I’m firmly in favour of reverse psychology. It’#s how I explain my constant stream of what a friend calls ‘Roger bashing’ that I usually sprout during matches and occationally after. Yup, nerves of steel, me.

    But you never really know what to expect from Feddy do you? I’m simultaneously looking forward to and dreading Madrid. One part of me still harbours the hope that he was saving his best for Madrid and RG and we’ll see sparkly Goat-derer prancing about in all his glory in the next few weeks. The other part of me is busy preparing the rock that I’m going to crawl under when ‘Ferd’ loses early again .

    Totally pulling pug faces. Stupid Swissy… but a very good post. Giggled for a full ten minutes before I went back to moping.😉

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