Rant: It’s time for WAR!


A rant is called for, at this point.

It used to be the case that Fedal fandoms are the most violent, nasty section of tennis fandom. That was before I discovered the brave new world of JJ and Ana fans. They make the worst Federer and Nadal haterades look like sibling grudges.

Wassgoingon, Fedal fans? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR WARRING MOJOS?!

To put us back on the forefront of fandom rivalries, I SOLEMNLY DECLARE WAR FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS. But wars without laws are bleak, chaotic, and often results in mass carnage and a lot of upset people, so let’s lay down a few ground rules shall we? I need to protect my little blog from the imbeciles that inhabit certain parts of tennis fandom who make me angry.

  1. Rafa-hating Fed fans: “Oh Rafa’s game is ugly! So incomplete! Aren’t his grunts annoying? What gamesmanship?! Hahaha wedgie!” If you think you’re going to find a sympathetic ear because I’m a Federer fan, you clearly haven’t been reading between the lines here. Never mind “ugly”, and “annoying” are highly subjective terms being passed around as “truths”. I hardly expect you to appreciate that. But appreciate this: dismissing someone because their game is “ugly”, “all muscle”, or making jokes about their perennial wedgie  is what sore losers do. Do you like to be a sore loser? No? Okay then.
  2. Fed-hating Rafa fans: It’s hard to diss Fed’s game – you might be hateful, but you’re not blind. Much more convenient however to attack his personality instead! Never mind he’s well loved by his peers – what would they know? They don’t understand him the way YOU do! Federer’s a lying, arrogant, self-centred prick. He’s possibly gay, because he befriends one of the most fashionable, successful (and hated) women in the world. But then again, you don’t see the irony of calling someone a douchebag when you’re being a xenophobic, homophobic douche yourself. Hang on, the word I’m looking for isn’t “irony”, it’s HY-FUCKING-POCRISY! Do you like to be a hypocrite? No? Okay then!
  3. And if you are a sore loser or a hypocrite, Roger and Rafa don’t need you as fans. I certainly don’t need your hits. If you feel like hating, there are more savage parts of tennis fandom than this blog – please proceed there instead. And this applies to long-time readers, commenters, lurkers, and people who came to this blog searching the words “you belong in a zoo” in google.

Root for your favourite player. Type in caps lock. Make your case, discuss, watch, play, and smacktalk all you want.

But DON’T MAKE IT PERSONAL. DON’T MAKE IT UGLY. DON’T BE A HYPOCRITE OR A SORE LOSER. And don’t you dare stick your haterade in my face.

And most importantly – have fun. We don’t know how many more matches we’re going to get between the two.

As for myself, In the relatively short time I’ve been writing this blog, I think (and you may disagree) that I’ve seen both Roger and Rafa through some tough times. While my favourite has been Fed since 07, I’ve always supported Rafa and stuck up for him. But when it’s Fedal time? All bets are off.

I’m predicting Rafa to win, I’m predicting everyone I loathe within Tennis Fandom to snigger, I’m predicting the tennis media to “tut tut”, and myself to be sad despite best efforts to convince myself that a final is fantastic.

But! I’ll be rooting for darling Fed in victory or defeat. I may beat him with a stick 99% of the time ’cause that’s how I roll, but yer don’t ditch your side in a war.

GO FEDERDORK! HOPP YOUR WELL-ROUNDED TUSH!

*Fetal position*

xx doots

41 responses to “Rant: It’s time for WAR!”

  1. Luna says :

    Great post! Danke & gracias!!!!!
    Luna

    PS. thanks, too…….

  2. Nic says :

    Hehe, that 2nd photo is so dorky. And when did Fed go for the tweener?

    I mean… some sort of war chant. Umm. You can take the h2h but you’ll never take… our head of hair!!!

    • dootsiez says :

      SAY IT WITH MORE CONVICTION NIC!

      YOU CAN TASTE THE VICTORY OF WIMBLEDON 08, BUT YOU’LL NEVER TASTE OUR PUNY LEFT ARM DELICACIES!!

      YOU CAN POLISH YOUR AO 09 TROPHY, BUT YOU’LL NEVER PLAY CHESS WITH YOUR GRAND SLAM TROPHIES!

      YOU CAN SLEEP WITH YOUR COUPES DES MOUSQUETAIRES BUT YOU’LL NEVER WAKE UP TO POOP OF MYLA AND CHARLENE!

  3. Forehand Shanker says :

    I just want to see some epic sublime tennis from Fedal. I have no problems respecting Rafa’s fight & his game. But I’m cheering for the underdog, the dork from Basel. Put simply, like many tennis players, I want to play like Roger and more importantly be a class act like him.

  4. Nic says :

    I will say this with conviction: ROFLMAO!

  5. evie says :

    Great post. I don’t get the haters — they are both such obviously nice guys.

    I’m excited about this final, even though the odds are against Fed. Here’s to a good match — no beat-downs, please!

  6. PJ says :

    Fantastic post, but as expected of Doots, webmistress of All I Need Is A Picket Fence and all things Serious.😀

    But honestly, I agree. I’m a Fedal fan. I get all giggly when I see them being giggly and squishy and I think it’s amazing that a scorching rivalry on court translates to text messages, dorky giggles and hair brushing off court. I like Rafa, he’s a good boy and a great chamption.

    But Feddykins totally and completely owns me, and has done so since 2006 (even if it was at a lesser degree). So when it comes to a Fedal final…sorry Rafa. I DEFINITELY want to see the trophy in Roger’s hands. No rooting for you there. But otherwise, I’ll root for ya.

    I’m greedy, unfortunately. Despite all of Rogi’s successes and 16 Slams and blah blah blah, I still want him to keep winning. And winning. And winning.

    Because him losing means me curling into a ball under my blankets, and being mocked at by colleagues at work (even if there’s sympathy coffee and/or cheesecakes involved). It also means attempts by my sisters to make me ‘quit’ Roger Federer (when they found out how much I spent for AO, the big one nearly had a heart attack). And that’s not fun!!

    Okay, have lost track, am babbling. Bottomline, great post and GO ROGER. THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAA!!!!!

    • dootsiez says :

      SPARTAAAAA RAWJAAAAAAAA!

      Don’t worry, my family doesn’t even know how much I spent on AO tickets. They weren’t quite sure when I was ushering and when I was a spectator, since I was MIA for 80 hours a week during the AO. Which suited me just fine.

      Besides, my money. My hobby. Better spent on fun times at Melbourne Park than on more shoes.

      AND EXPECT FRAZZLING TEXTS TONIGHT YO!

  7. Ceeza says :

    You are such a clever girl ….Cheers !!

  8. girl_from_mi says :

    I love them both. I do. I LOVE THEM BOTH! The hardest part about being a True Fedal Fan is that ONE OF THEM HAS TO LOSE. Which is totally unfair.

    • dootsiez says :

      I hear ya, girl_from_mi. Unfortunately, that person is more often than not Rogie. And I fear it’ll be him again.

  9. pban says :

    *FRAZZLE* completely at a loss for words,did he really serve at 48% in the 2nd set????they are showing the highlights but I am too scared to watch as I might jinx him *hides under blanket wailing*

    • dootsiez says :

      Yes he did. But more towards the start of the set, he brought it back up slightly by the end. Half a set of shithouse. Can’t afford to do that in front of Rafa.

  10. pban says :

    “HALF A SET DOOTS” you can’t afford even half a game of shithouse against Rafa, doublefaulting at 0-30 what the hell does he think our nerves are made of ….lead lined steel?

  11. FortuneCookie says :

    LOOOVE THIS!🙂
    Like many here I am definitely a fan of both (I don’t get tennis hating,I mean,we don’t even know the players personally!) I root for Rafa in a match 99.9% of the time,but in this match against Fed!?Um sorrryyy mate…
    It’d be great for Rafa to get that all time record for Masters titles,but let’s face it,with all the ones left and NEXT YEAR’S CLAY SEASON,he *is* going to get it whatever happens today!
    And for Roger,I think a win would (arguably!)be more ‘legitimate’ than last year’s,because Rafa had just come off that 4 and half hour match,his knee problems were starting to come back etc…
    Soooo, Go Roger!*whispers* *antijinx*😛

  12. elisha says :

    I’m scared and nervous. How the heck are Rafa and Roger feeling??!! I won’t be home to see the match because I’ll be working, but I set my TV to record the match and I hope it won’t be in vain because if Roger loses, I don’t know if I can handle the loss to watch the match…. And I agree with FortuneCookie – a win this year would be more “legit” as Rafa had that epic match against Djoko last year. (Although… the only reason their match even lasted that long is because half the time they were bouncing the ball before serving and taking their sweet time between points =X )
    And I told myself to not expect so much out of Roger after the French last year. My mom even said stop banking everything on the guy – he’s getting “old.” But I can’t stop rooting for Fed. And I can’t stop myself from feeling bad if Rafa loses today, but it doesn’t and will never match up to Roger losing to him EVER. So please, I hope Roger will win today.

  13. TennisAce says :

    Thanks so much for this Doots. FeDal is destroying tennis or rather so-called fans of tennis are destroying tennis with this nonsense. It makes me wonder if this is what led to poor Monica Seles being stabbed by a disgusting Graf fan because he felt that Graf’s position in the game was being threatened. People need to lay off all this hatred and I have to admit that at some web sites it is becoming really weird to read the hate that is being spewed there. When you look at the mob scenes that accompany Federer and Nadal one has to wonder whether some idiot might not try something really bad (God forbid that should happen) against either of these 2 giants of the game. I just dont get it. Whether you are a fan of either player or not, I just do not get where all this hatred comes from. I have spoken to some Fed fans who do not like Nadal and as a consequence do not even bother to watch his matches. Fair enough. But going out of your way to log on, go on a message board and write all kinds of nasty stuff about a player that you have never met, dissecting every word that he says, analysing his every move on a tennis court, this does not speak to the fact that you hate either man, this says that you need to get a life since you are clearly not there to watch tennis but rather to obsess about 2 people who really do not give a toss about you. They are idiots and they should be banned from message boards the world over.

  14. Jas says :

    I’m confident Fed will play properly because Rafa is no walkover, Fed can beat nearly everyone (fairly) easily but that gets boring after a while so he makes more “interesting” by double faulting, missing shots, letting opponents back in etc.

    If Rafa wins he will be more than a worthy winner, he has played so well over the past few weeks and has fought so well after everyone was saying that he was over etc etc as long as there are no bagels involved, I don’t think a loss will too hard on Fed. I just want an exciting and competitive final unlike the previous two masters finals (Daveed why did you miss everything once you got 0-30 at 5-4 WHY!)

    • Jas says :

      PS Rafa’s grunts, the wedgie and the time wasting is annoying but his fighting abilities, his backhand passes, the forehand, his volleying, his incredible speed around the court , the way he constructs his points and the accuracy of his serve (not very fast, few aces but boy is it accurate his second serve especially is very good) these qualities of Rafa’s tennis more than overlooks these little things.

    • dootsiez says :

      CONFIDENT? THERE WILL BE NO CONFIDENCE AROUND HERE JAS! FRAZZLES ONLY YO!

  15. breadstix says :

    *preps rock to crawl under in*

    “But DON’T MAKE IT PERSONAL. DON’T MAKE IT UGLY. DON’T BE A HYPOCRITE OR A SORE LOSER. And don’t you dare stick your haterade in my face.”
    You tell ’em, Doots! I love Fedal matches, hell, I love ’em both, and whenever they play each other we’re pretty much always guaranteed quality matches (I say pretty much… *ahem* Stay away, ‘FERD’. D: ). And as a tennis fan, that makes me happy.

  16. Jack says :

    I am nervous about this match. I really want Roger to win but my brain is telling me that Rafa will win.

    Even though I can find Rafa annoying sometimes, only because he gives Roger so much trouble!, I don’t hate the guy. I mean, I don’t these people who has such strong hate for someone they don’t know. It kinda says alot about them as a person really.

    And doots, I like to think this blog is a safe haven for us fed fans. Like when he loses, we can take shelter here and heal our wounds! And that you’ll protect us from the “evil ones”😀

  17. roadrunnerz says :

    Fantastic post, Doots.

    One of the reasons I flove your blog (you know, aside from the writing and the Federporn….) is that it’s not a Rafa-hating Fed fan site.

    I seriously HATE THE HATERS!!! And I hate that most blogs love one player at the expense of loathing the other. Even the neutral ones (ie tennis.com) have such constant Fedal wars, that it makes me mental.

    Maybe if the two players hated each OTHER it would make some sort of sense to me…but these two have had the biggest mutual admiration society in tennis I’ve ever seen. And they clearly get along off the court.

    Granted, Rafa’s game is not my cup of tea but aside from that I have boatloads of admiration for him. And let’s face it, he’s got a super hot body, a gorgeous smile and a great attitude. What’s not to love?

    As for today’s match…I’m oddly frazzle free about it. I’lll be rooting for Fed like crazy, but I also expect Rafa to win.

    Last year’s surprise Madrid win was SWEET for this fan. I don’t expect lightning to strike twice (although it would ROCK for my atp bracket if it did! lol). Given his form coming into Madrid, I’m just psyched my guy made it to the final.

    • Red4Fed says :

      Well said roadrunnerz. And thank you too Doots for creating this fantastic Fedal haven where those of us who adore both these amazing men can bask in their awesomeness instead of wallowing in the pointless Fedal wars that seem to occur with such alarming frequency on other sites. Every time I watch these two play against each other I think how lucky we are to live in their era and witness their incredible rivalry, and the fact that they’re such BFFs just elevates their contributions to tennis even more.

      Today was tough though… as much as I adore Nadal, my heart will forever belong to Fed. Here’s to hoping the future will be filled with many more great Fedal matches (hopefully with Roger on the winning side for a change!).

      • dootsiez says :

        *hugs to the pair of ya*

        • tennisfan76 says :

          dootsiez, as a long term lurker on your site , I’m breaking cover to say how much I enjoy visiting it. Although my heart still belongs to Safin (pathetic, I know) I usually support Rafa in Fedal matches. Having said that, I also like Roger’s slightly dorky personality and love his game. I can think of one blog which I rarely visit now because its creator spends most of their time slating RF’s personality and suggesting his playing style is boring (WHAT?) Anyway, thanks for demonstrating that you can support one player without denigrating his closest rival. As you rightly point out, Roger and Rafa like each other so maybe fans should follow their example?

  18. abrnyc says :

    hate is ridiculous in life and sport…
    RAAAJAAA is my man (rafa is great too and a great #2), but Roger makes the soul sing!

    so all I can say is bring it rafa! great to see them play at their respective best always… and look out doots – Roger’s got this!

  19. abrnyc says :

    p.s. COME ON VENUS too!

  20. Lily says :

    Rafael Nadal seems to be a so nice guy, he’s so funny and smart during the press conferences… I can’t understand why it’s possible to hate him !

    I prefer Federer’s game (and other details from this guy, like monkey and squishiness) but I admire the both of them, their friendship and their loyalty.

    VAMOS ROGFA NADERER !

  21. TennisAce says :

    Takes out bottles of Appleton VX rum; glasses, ice. No chasers here. Bar is now open to all those Fed fans who are feeling like they wish to get drunk. So close. So freaking close. That is always what annoys me about these matches. Federer always comes so close. . Ugh.

    • dootsiez says :

      I WILL TAKE THE DRINK TENNISACE. EVEN THOUGH I HAVE BEEN TOLD I’M NOT A GOOD GIRL WHEN I’M DRUNK. BUT IT’S OKAY.

      *ouch my head*

      No more caps lock. Seriously.

      • TennisAce says :

        I have to admit that I got mindlessly drunk and disorderly yesterday. I just sat there and looked at the score and kept sipping on my Appleton. It hurts. It always hurts and these are the days when the dislike for someone I do not know comes into play, but I do what I have been doing since FO08, Wimbledon 08 and AO09, I get drunk, go into my little hole, leave the internet, message boards, skype and all other forms of communication and I heal. It does not take away all the hurt because it rings in your ears and you have to read about it and watch others gloat and while you want to be bitchy and throw nasty things back at the feet of the Nadal fans, you dont because you are so much better than them or some such thing, but it hurts and it sucks and sometimes I feel like behaving like a juvenile but I dont because I know better.

    • sazzylove says :

      AM totally loathing the sports headlines right now ..Can you pass the glass please….this tequila i’m having is not doing the tricks.I want to get drunk into oblivion…..

  22. pban says :

    I have given up on being annoyed its too tiring,somehow the roll of the dice always goes in favour of Nadal when they play

  23. BS says :

    Ok, I’m late commenting because he’s already lost, but anyway here goes.

    Even as a die-hard Federer fan, you can’t help but admire Rafa and what he has done over the last 5 years. He’s an unbelievable player and even though I dislike him half the time for being so good I know he’s just absolutely adorable off-court. Ok, on-court aswell. I didn’t realise until this year how much I’ve grown in fondness for him. When he had to retire in the AO against Muzz, I was so upset for him. He just didn’t deserve it and that was the moment that BS finally admitted that yes, she does love Rafa. I could try and insult him, but I don’t want to insult him because I’m afraid he’ll take it out on Rog in RG😛

    Fed, well, I love him so much, but I think sometimes I’m better off not watching his matches. The guy is so frustrating because he just loves making all of us frazzle. All the same, I have loved him for the past five years and I love this rivalry. It’s just the best.

    Thank you Doots, I loved this post. You get an A. Top of the class. YAY!!!

  24. A_Gallivant says :

    Nice post that I’m just seeing now. Yeah, Rafa makes me seethe and I want to go all crazy and be a hater but seriously, hate is a strong sentiment to feel for someone I DO NOT know.

    But can I hate the let down from these Fedal finals?!?
    I don’t even know why I wished for it, I just wanted Fed to get to the final and then I realized he’s be playing Nadal. LOL.

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