Rant: It’s time for WAR!
A rant is called for, at this point.
It used to be the case that Fedal fandoms are the most violent, nasty section of tennis fandom. That was before I discovered the brave new world of JJ and Ana fans. They make the worst Federer and Nadal haterades look like sibling grudges.
Wassgoingon, Fedal fans? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR WARRING MOJOS?!
To put us back on the forefront of fandom rivalries, I SOLEMNLY DECLARE WAR FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS. But wars without laws are bleak, chaotic, and often results in mass carnage and a lot of upset people, so let’s lay down a few ground rules shall we? I need to protect my little blog from the imbeciles that inhabit certain parts of tennis fandom who make me angry.
- Rafa-hating Fed fans: “Oh Rafa’s game is ugly! So incomplete! Aren’t his grunts annoying? What gamesmanship?! Hahaha wedgie!” If you think you’re going to find a sympathetic ear because I’m a Federer fan, you clearly haven’t been reading between the lines here. Never mind “ugly”, and “annoying” are highly subjective terms being passed around as “truths”. I hardly expect you to appreciate that. But appreciate this: dismissing someone because their game is “ugly”, “all muscle”, or making jokes about their perennial wedgie is what sore losers do. Do you like to be a sore loser? No? Okay then.
- Fed-hating Rafa fans: It’s hard to diss Fed’s game – you might be hateful, but you’re not blind. Much more convenient however to attack his personality instead! Never mind he’s well loved by his peers – what would they know? They don’t understand him the way YOU do! Federer’s a lying, arrogant, self-centred prick. He’s possibly gay, because he befriends one of the most fashionable, successful (and hated) women in the world. But then again, you don’t see the irony of calling someone a douchebag when you’re being a xenophobic, homophobic douche yourself. Hang on, the word I’m looking for isn’t “irony”, it’s HY-FUCKING-POCRISY! Do you like to be a hypocrite? No? Okay then!
- And if you are a sore loser or a hypocrite, Roger and Rafa don’t need you as fans. I certainly don’t need your hits. If you feel like hating, there are more savage parts of tennis fandom than this blog – please proceed there instead. And this applies to long-time readers, commenters, lurkers, and people who came to this blog searching the words “you belong in a zoo” in google.
Root for your favourite player. Type in caps lock. Make your case, discuss, watch, play, and smacktalk all you want.
But DON’T MAKE IT PERSONAL. DON’T MAKE IT UGLY. DON’T BE A HYPOCRITE OR A SORE LOSER. And don’t you dare stick your haterade in my face.
And most importantly – have fun. We don’t know how many more matches we’re going to get between the two.
As for myself, In the relatively short time I’ve been writing this blog, I think (and you may disagree) that I’ve seen both Roger and Rafa through some tough times. While my favourite has been Fed since 07, I’ve always supported Rafa and stuck up for him. But when it’s Fedal time? All bets are off.
I’m predicting Rafa to win, I’m predicting everyone I loathe within Tennis Fandom to snigger, I’m predicting the tennis media to “tut tut”, and myself to be sad despite best efforts to convince myself that a final is fantastic.
But! I’ll be rooting for darling Fed in victory or defeat. I may beat him with a stick 99% of the time ’cause that’s how I roll, but yer don’t ditch your side in a war.
GO FEDERDORK! HOPP YOUR WELL-ROUNDED TUSH!