I even got a cheerleading dress for you. :(

I went to sleep at 5:30am, got up at 7am. I’ve had 10 hours sleep in the last 72 hours I’ve just about peed all the alcohol and coffee out of my body, which is starting to recognise that the warm and energy it felt 3 hours ago was just a chemical delusion. I’m coming down with a cold, I have no voice thanks to Taylor Swift, and one line on my computer screen looks like two lines to me right now.

So I’ve been better. That’s for sure.

But enough about my physical ailments. He lost – you know that by now. It was a good job by Rafa and a fantastic achievement for him to win 18 Masters. He’s in fine form for the French Open and the favourite for the tournament, for everyone but himself.

That’s all I’ll say on Rafa.

Rafa fans – if you come here to offer your commiseration, merci! Congrats on your guy’s win. If you come here to bait – refer to the post below. I can and I will block your ass from every social media known to man. I promise you that.

Tennis media – bring it bitches. I plan to argue for a living one day and I plan to be good at it, so if you want to be my guinea pig, FEEL FREE.


Wheww! Sorry, had to get that off my chest.

Alright – the positives!

  1. It’s MADRID. Tough that he didn’t win, but honestly – for a guy with 16 slams and counting, I doubt he’ll lose any sleep over it.
  2. My guy is also incredibly dapper, and yes, I’ve gone soft. Federporn this week, but only this week, back to serious business next week.
  3. Considering Fed’s recent no-shows, he has actually managed to pull a rabbit of out of the hat this week by putting on a good run. I don’t think he’s good enough to win Roland Garros at this stage, but I am feeling better about his game than I was this time last week.
  4. The number of people who told me this was going to be an ugly beat-down: NUH NUH NUH. Beat-down my tush.
  5. I expect Fed to lose, most people (apart from the true diehards) did. Expectations were met.

And yet, it was only after my expectations were met that I discovered that somewhere deep down, I had allowed myself to hope. That’s the part that kills with the Fedal rivalry – it makes me disappointed when I have no reason or right to be disappointed in Feddykins.

And disappointment I do feel. Looking at the stats: winner/unforced error ratio 34-33 Federer, 27-27 Nadal. Number of points won: 84 Federer, 85 Nadal.

Those stats say 2 things: 1) Federer played well enough to win. 2) Federer couldn’t even win a set.

If you were an optimist, focus on the former. For the pessimists: the latter speaks to a familiar pattern of playing badly on break points and key points. On a wider scale, it speaks to some mental scarring, which is not something that can be coached or practiced away.

It’s the sort of mental block that makes me want to wrap him a fleece blanket … then punch him … then run my fingers through his hair … then kick him … then give him warm milk with fairy bread and tuck him into bed with a teddy bear … then scream at him for half an hour so he goes to sleep crying.

You get the point.

But none of that is new. And each time in the past, when Federer has lost, he has picked himself up to lose again, and again, and then win. Then lose, and lose. And win.

And his fans have been most resilient, because for every “Australian Open 09” he loses, there’ll be a “Roland Garros 09”, “Wimbledon 09”. The goods outweigh the bads, and if I want to enjoy my guy’s wins, I’ve got to accept his losses too.

And this guy, you know he’s pretty awesome.

Thanks to all who frazzled with me on Twitter yesterday, clearly – we need a livechat for Roland Garros. And merci to Poojay, whose frantic SMS exchanges cracked me up when I re-read them on the train this morning.

Here’s a sample of our crazies – what a partay you missed:






YUP. Times that by about 50 messages, and you’ll get an idea of what my night was like.

More on the WTA later. I have some politicking to do, provided my head doesn’t explode.

xx doots


Tags: ,

51 responses to “I even got a cheerleading dress for you. :(”

  1. Mia says :

    “And this guy you know, he’s pretty awesome”.

    Love Fed, always forever.

  2. PSP says :

    Awww, Doots, hope your cold goes away soon. Back to feddy, I think he played better and I keep reminding myself that it was Madrid. Anyway, cross my fingersfor a good RG!!! 😉

  3. whynotme says :

    I heart this post. I heart your blog. I heart you. AND I FUCKING HEART ROGER!!

    Okay that’s all I can say right now because it’s 3:30am, and despite the fact that I can’t find the motivation to go to bed because I keep thinking about that damn match, and despite the fact that I’m oscillating between a deep sadness that he lost, an extatic joy that he stays an amazing person no matter what, and a strong confidence that there will be way better days this year, I STILL NEED TO SLEEP. =_=

    (and OMG YAY for the temporary restoration of FPF!! It’s official: you may have the right to see the porn pics of the Mary Cohr Exo if I take some xD)
    (and thank you for NOT mentionning a *certain* point in your post. Fedhaters are killing me with it!)

    • dootsiez says :

      I heart you too! Thanks for being a good sport on twitter! 😀


      And I don’t get your following Fedhaters. *shakes head*

  4. cecilia says :

    ditto ditto ditto

    expectations met, check. Low BP conversion, check.

    well as if we didnt know

    alright Roger, I still love you

  5. ponderinglife says :

    i’ve been lurking around your blog around for a while and your fpf posts always are a highlight to my week and your posts always cheer me up every time fed loses. I didn’t watch the match last night (i live in sydney and uni has killed my sleep) but my friend’s text about fed losing woke me up. I also expected him to lose but hoped something like madrid 09 would happen. But after all, anything can happen. I remember frazzling so much at us open 09 and then being pessimistic for ao 10 but it was such a great win. With federer lately, good things always happen around the corner =)

    • dootsiez says :

      Howdy PL! Nice to see more Sydneysiders around here. I had uni the next day too, not to mention work, I had secretly hoped I would sleep through it, but what do you know – the match started 2:30, I woke up 2:27am.

      Fuck my life.

  6. shepadd says :

    This match led me to drink half a bottle of wine in the middle of the day! I think you nailed it that it’s the hope that kills us every time! At some point in the second set, I convinced myself Roger was going to pull through.

    I am ready for RG now and feel like Feddy is much more ready than I thought he’d be. He really picked it up in the second set and seemed ready to play. I don’t know what happened to him in that tiebreaker, but I’m choosing to remember that Madrid is where he was able to fight out two tough 3 set matches in a way he hasn’t been able to do since early this year. Even when he didn’t play well, I never thought he gave up in any match, and he made the necessary adjustments to win. That’s a huge positive going into the French Open.

    I love this post; the picture really made me laugh, and I really appreciated all your twitter updates!

  7. Ribbons says :

    This is me being glass half-full and filling:

    (1) Dude won in ’06 and ’09. Maybe he’s fated to win just in years that are multiples of 3? (translation: he will still be winning Masters shields in 2012, oh yes)

    (2) At 46 57, he won more games off Rafa than the Rome and Monte Carlo finalists (Ferrer=57 26, Verdasco=06 16)

    (3) The 80-odd other guys in Madrid played their hearts out and didn’t get as far. Jarkko Nieminen’s April 13 blog was so painfully down-to-earth: “I’m not Federer or Nadal and I’ll never be, so most likely I won’t win a Gran Slam but I keep trying hard…” Much as I want to see Roger do better vs. Rafa, second-best dirtballer of the current era is still well ahead of the pack, and that’s just freaking amazing.

    (4) Sane dudes with press passes: BBC Piers Newbery re-tweeting Brad Gilbert: “Despite the loss a good match for Fed & great week. This will give him confidence for RG, better not to peak too soon.”

    (5) Catching up on Nieminen’s blog — unexpectedly cheered to come across this bit from April 23:

    “Yesterday I practiced two hours with Federer here in Rome. We did one hour of exercises and drills and the second hour we played points. I can’t hope for a better practice than that. Roger very obviously hits great, but it’s also nice to practice with him because he is so down to earth. He is super-relaxed and he jokes around, but still he practices really well at the same time.”

    (Sorry if I’m reposting something you’ve already seen/blogged, but I don’t know of many folks who follow Jarkko, and reading about Roger being fun and real makes me feel better.)

    Hope you feel better soon!

    • dootsiez says :

      ARGH. You sound so positive. Pffft! Gahh! Stop making sense yo! And I didn’t even know Jarko had a blog. -_-“

  8. pban says :

    😦 😦 😦

  9. TennisAce says :

    you know what pisses Jason and Robbie off more than the fact that they did not know that Mirka was carrying twins and they did not get invitations to the wedding, the fact that Federer does not expend a lot of energy during practice and warm up sessions. There are also fans who are pissed because Federer chooses to stay in a 5 star hotel with his wife, 2 children, nannies and other assorted staff. They are angry that he seems to spend so little effort on his tennis while they had to sweat blood and tears and never had half the career that he had. It is called talent people. freaking talent. Deal with it. I was very disappointed in the way the match ended and it just signified just how bad the courts were. Federer did not mishit that shot, the ball took a bounce and went right over his head. Seeing Nadal rolling around on the ground face down really made me upset but I was cool I turned off the livestream, reached for my glass of Appleteon and took a nice swig and then changed the channel on the tv as well.

    • jfK says :

      Mega dittos to everything you said about Jason and Robbie. Those guys are morons. Before the match they put it upon themselves to put asterisks next to Rogers 2 defeats of Nadal on clay. Disgusting.

    • pban says :

      Well Nadal was spitting on it the game before so good luck to him.

    • Jack says :

      I hardly ever listen to what most of the commentators say!!

      The only ones I like are Navratilova, because she obviously knows what she’s talking about. Johnny Mac, because when he’s on the BBC at Wimbledon, he never get sucked into Murray Mania.

      I also think Lindsay Davenport has a really nice voice for commentary. And because I’m British, I also have a soft spot for Tim!! 🙂

      • Puffin says :

        Me too, Jack! I thought Tim was an excellent commentator at the last two Wimbledon’s – way better and much more objective than Andrew Castle! Hope he does it again this year!

        • dootsiez says :

          Tim used to be one of Roger’s best buds, no? He’s usually quite kind during Roger’s matches.

        • Puffin says :

          Hi Doots – wanted to reply to your comments beneath my first post but couldn’t see the reply button. Oh yes, Tim is still one of Roger’s best buds. I just meant that when Tim is commentating on matches, he talks more about the actual tennis being played rather than always fan-boying about certain players (Roger included). I find it so refreshing to listen to. As much as I love hearing Roger being praised by other ex-players, I like it to be in a factual tone – much more believable, imo! 😉

        • Puffin says :

          ps: As an example, during the Wimbledon 08 final, Andrew Castle and Tim were commentating for the BBC. Andrew Castle was just the same as Koenig yesterday – nauseating. In fact, during the breaks, I thought he was going to leap down from the commentary box and offer to wipe the sweat from Rafa’s brow, his dialogue was that treacly! On the other hand, even though Tim is one of Roger’s best friends, he commented solely on the tennis and kept off the physical attributes (or otherwise) of either player! I just wished he’d had more of an opportunity to actually talk, but poor lad didn’t get much chance with so much twittering going on from the other microphone! 🙂

  10. jfK says :

    Doots I’m looking at the positives on your list. Last couple weeks he couldn’t even string 3 decent matches together. Maybe we should feel positive he gave Nadal a close contest. , because Nadal has been dominating the clay.
    This loss still sucks. To rub more salt in the wound, the played Viva La Vida before the trophy ceremony 😦

  11. sazzylove says :

    I woke expecting to find that Roger won but who am i kidding right?Almost everybody were betting against him but the optimist in me prevailed. but we wins Lots and lose some (hehe) so its ok i guess.At least our darling boy gave a “well rested’ ,mentally and physically fit Rafa, a good fight.I really thought it was gonna be a walk in the park for the clay master but thankfully, Roger at least delivered.Onwards to RG people.Looking forward to lots of frazzling and of course the big W! I still love Roger no matter what.

  12. pban says :

    Iam feeling sleepy at 12 noon after waking up at 8am ….a surefire sign that Iam depressed.Have stayed away from the tennis forums and my dad who is itching to extend his commiserations, no doubt.What is worse is that considering where his game was last week this was unexpected and yet I can’t help but rue the chances that got away.

  13. Noshali says :

    I blame myself. Mainly for watching the match, because it seems like every match of his I watch, he loses. This whole week I didn’t watch one match and he made it to the finals.
    I also blame myself for falling head over heels in love with this man 3 years ago. It only gave me a lot of heartache and pain.
    I hate sports.
    *killing myself*

  14. cs says :

    I’m not a Roger fan (yes, I’m a Rafa fan, but I didn’t come here to bait) but I try to read your blogs as much as possible. I like the way you express yourself, but after reading this article, I couldn’t resist posting. I didn’t like it your blog after Roger lost to Gulbis because I thought it was harsh and I don’t know if it’s something unique to Roger fans or not, but everytime he lost, you guys are disappointed with him. Of course, it’s normal that you feel sad but come on, he’s Roger. Even if he doesn’t win a single match from now on, his legacy is guaranteed. What do you expect from him now? He has 16 GS, he’s GOAT, there are millions of people out there who don’t even have the half success he’s had. Rafa fans have gone through so many sadness last year but I haven’t read a single harsh comment towards him. Do you guys love Roger because he wins so much or just because of who he is? If the answer is the second one, then you should stick with him in the difficult times because there may be times that he won’t win a single thing for a long time (as it happens to almost any other player). Just wanted to get off that my chest. Please, don’t be angry at me.

    • dootsiez says :

      LOL cs, don’t be scared. WE STRUT IN PEACE YO!

      I don’t know that it’s something unique to Fed fans, but it certainly unique to this blog, and you wouldn’t be the first person to bring it up. The thing you gotta understand that I come from a political background, I have Asian parents, so … beating people with a stick is the demented way in which I show my love! (yes, horrifying and twisted I am).

      All the things you said about Roger having 16 slams and things – deep down, I know that, the fact that I stuck with him through 2008 should say it all really. This isn’t about a lack of faith in my man. Every time I tell him to fuck off, every time I abuse Federbear is a love letter to my darling boy. 😀 And fans of other players shouldn’t take it personally if I act like they did nothing to deserve the win. Fed is my limitation as a writer, and it’s a limitation I have no intention of removing.

      So how do you like us Fed fans? Too insane for ya? 😛

      • pban says :

        Hear Hear, I have a feeling this violent love that we feel for our guy is peculiar only to Fedfans …..being Asian is not the reason though as a race we do tend to be more demanding of the ones we care about.

  15. Sophie says :

    Awesome once again, love our webchat. #thisiswarbitches was the best hastag i’ve seen in a long time. Twitter for those 3 hours was complete chaos! 🙂
    Bring on RG!

  16. PJ says :

    You kept me sane, Doots! And yeap, our WAAAA texts was what kept me crawling into bed and bawling. Really, thanks heaps for the mutual frazzling.

    I’m still kinda sad because, like you wrote, looking at their ratio of UEs/winners/points won, it is undeniable that it could’ve gone both ways. It could easily be Rog’s win, but I guess when it came down to the crunch points and the chances, Rafa was the one who grabbed it. It made me a bit woe that Roger had not successfully defended a title since USO2008.

    Shanked forehands and some bad misses aside, this actually wasn’t a bad match for him, and a good tournament overall. Rafa was competitive workout, and Rog also got some match time in from Ernie and Ferru, so it’s good preparation for RG. Like I said on Twitter, I don’t think he’s going to win it this year (or ever again). Not to say I don’t believe in my man (he’s my main man from now and forever) but looking at Rafa right now, I just gotta be objective and maybe rational.

    Of course, Bobby Sod could be in Rafa’s quarter and be a Rafa slayer again, being a tennis fan had taught me nothing was ever given, but if going by my gut feeling, I don’t think Roger’s the favourite for RG, nor will he actually win it. I only hope for the semis streak to stay alive, and of course, a final appearance. (Come think of it, if he goes to the final and across the net is someone other than Rafa…a title defense is probably possible)

    Also it may be a good thing that my gut feeling was never really right, HAR HAR HAR.

    I agree with your tough love, yo! We call him Ferd, we call him Turd, we tell him to fuck off and drown himself when he serves like a noodle, dumps backhands into nets and shanks his forehands, we scream and rant and shake our fists at him…but at the end of the day, we are still with him, all the way. Win or lose, he’s Roger fucking Federer, 16-slam winner, has the sexist hair and the sexiest monkey face on tour, and hey, that ain’t too bad.

    • dootsiez says :

      “Or ever again”.

      I ain’t that pessimistic yet, Poojay!

      If Fed intends to keep playing beyond 2012, we’ll have plenty of time. The way I see it – Fed’s first and foremost goal is to make finals. If Rafa’s there, then he either deals with it or goes down swingin’, if Rafa’s not … he’ll still have to deal with it, or go down swingin’.

      I don’t think it’s necessarily a given that Fed won’t beat Rafa at Roland Garros, though I agree – he’s not in form yet this year, so it’s unlikely this time round.

      But that’s hardly to say he’ll never win Roland Garros again. Goran Ivanisevic won Wimbledon in 2001, crazier things have happened in tennis. In fact, Roger Federer winning a slam ain’t even crazy. It is UBER NORMAL YO!

      • PJ says :

        Oooh, I like your attitude better. 😀 I supposed when it comes to RG, I am more pessimistic than usual. I think he’s still gonna win some AOs/Wimbys/USOs before he decides to stop…but I dunno. Maybe RG/clay/Rafa losses over the years have rendered me all AHHHH when it comes to this clay stuff. But yes, certainly shall remain optimistic. GOATS eat clay, right!?

        Thanks for the reminder of Ivanisevic @ 2001 Wimby. Now that was classic surprise wasn’t it? But again, yep, I am reminded that tennis is unpredictable. Who would’ve thought Rafa would lose to Bobby Sod? I always thought that when (if) he loses, it will be to Feddybums. Haha.

        Oh well, win or lose, he’s still Feddy. And we’re still gonna go all SDKFJDKGJSDKFSDKJ this RG, regardless.

        • dootsiez says :

          Funnily enough, I always thought Rafa would lose Djoko on clay one day. So far, he hasn’t. Not even once.


  17. Jack says :

    If someone had told me that Roger would be in the final, at the start of the week, I would have been happy with that. And even though I expected him to lose to Rafa, I was still dissapointed when he lost. I think it was because a little part of me hoped he would win!

    But this was his best clay week so far and losing to Nadal is much more respectable than losing to Montanes!

    And I get bored of the whole GOAT debate everytime he lose to Rafa. Personally I don’t care whether people think he’s the GOAT or not! In my eyes, his career speaks for itself!!

    And I may be mad with Roger when he plays crap sometimes but you know what….I bloody LOVE the guy!! My family may not understand it – they tend to think I’m a little crazy when I watch Roger!!! 😀 (Plus last year, during the Wimbly final, my brother kept saying “I want this to go to 28-26” – EVIL TORMENTERS!!!)

    But I’m so glad you started this blog doots, as now we have a place to share our craziness with everyone!! 😀

    • pban says :

      Aye aye to that Jack, my mother loves Feddy but she doesn’t get my obsession….no one does except you guys .Wouldn’t have made it without you guys today.Iwas so lonely after the 2 slam defeats which must not be mentioned on this site.Cheers to you all and wishing for a greener summer from now on 🙂

  18. Jack says :

    I also wanna say for such a high-profile tournament, the winners trophy is SHIT!

    • whynotme says :

      Haha, true!

      Firslty they are plates which makes them look like Grand Slam runner-up trophies! And then the winner and runner-up trophies are identical, which makes Roger and Rafa look like they’ve actually won a doubles title together!


      Okay I take it back, the winners trophy are AWESOME!!

  19. Deborah says :

    doots! As always, your blog lifts my spirits. I have been swinging between cheery gratitude that Roger was in a final and abject despair over another loss to RN. I’m sure the universe is scratching its head since I promised I’d never get this low again since babyboy has made all my dreams come true but *sigh* I always want him to win!!!!! Oh well, on to RG and the calendar slam. (could happen)!!!

  20. Warwick360 says :

    O_O…..what the…………..I miss the colourful background……. 😦

  21. girl_from_mi says :

    “…makes me want to wrap him a fleece blanket … then punch him … then run my fingers through his hair … then kick him … then give him warm milk with fairy bread and tuck him into bed with a teddy bear … then scream at him for half an hour so he goes to sleep crying.”

    That? Made me cry and laugh at the same time.

    … so he goes to sleep crying.

    O Man. You Win.

  22. Puffin says :

    You’re so right, Doots! However much we want to be realistic and tell ourselves that Roger had absolutely no chance against Rafa yesterday, that little germ of hope still keeps wriggling about deep inside – it will not be squished! Disappointment is then inevitable, and I must admit to still feeling a bit woeful, even though there are positives to take away from yesterday’s match (I think/hope?! 😉 ).

    I still feel Roger can and will defeat Rafa again in the future – maybe not on clay (though, never say never – if RG clay plays like last year, one never knows!) but on grass and hard (as long as he is fully fit and healthy, of course – a wee caveat there! 😉 ). However, I do wish Rafa would not continually play to Roger’s BH – yes, it’s a great plan for his game and maybe that’s the only way he can comfortably beat Roger, but, it gets rather boring to watch after a while (and maybe I don’t quite like seeing Roger’s exquisite strokes being pummelled to death 😉 ).

    Had the same thoughts too about Robbie and Jason – they were so far up Rafa’s arse, it was quite nauseating to listen to them. I’ve no objection to their being massive fans of Rafa (we all have our preferences) – but as they were supposed to be ‘professionally’ commentating on the match, a little bit more objectivity would’ve been nice!

    Anyway, roll on RG and, “hopefully”, there’s at least a semi-final in the offing! 🙂

  23. Joanna says :

    I think I was too sleepy last night to digest that Roger actually lost (I had to stay up till around 5 last night too cause I live in Sydney). I woke up this morning and then it finally hit me, lol. I was reading your twitter posts regarding the match and they were absolutely hilarious!! I wanna join your twitter frazzling, be nice to frazzle with some real fedfanatics hehehe. I must first get twitter though.

  24. breadstix says :

    Still wuv you, Woger, still wuv you… *hic*

  25. roadrunnerz says :

    Aww…Doots. The cheerleading dress!! Love it. lol *consolation hug*

    And what’s up with the new website look?

    :-0 Is nothing in my life consistent?? *weeps hysterically*

    Methinks it might take a week or so to get used to it. The Swiss can’t handle change, ya know! We are stubborn traditionalists! 🙂

    Ok, all that said, I actually took a boatload of positives from yesterday’s final.

    For starters, coming into this tournament, I only just barely hoped my guy might make the final. The fact that he DID, by taking out no less than two players currently on a hot streak (Gulbis AND Ferrer), was pretty fan-freaking-tastic in my books.

    I didn’t see the entire match, but what I saw from Fed looked promising. He gave himself a boatload of opportunities, broke Rafa’s serve SEVERAL times, showed he could change tactics if need be. His execution needs serious work, but the tactics were good. 85 points to 84 isn’t exactly a rout.

    You could argue that Almagro at least took a set off Rafa, but seriously, Rafa couldn’t serve in that set to save his life. He literally handed it to him with a bow on top. From what I saw, Fed had plenty of chances to take not just one, but two sets off Rafa yesterday. The Rafa of yesterday played well, and still Fed kept it close.

    Maybe I’m a totally deluded Fed fan but I think that if they do meet in the French (*crossing fingers*) the result isn’t the foregone conclusion that everyone else thinks it is.

  26. marcoiac says :

    “Number of points won: 84 Federer, 85 Nadal.” i remember fed’s five setter win against tipsarevic at the australian open. it was a close one. then they showed the game stats and i was stunned. fed had won some 20 to 30 points more than tipsarevic. clearly he has a problem with big points (which is a mental weakness), as he had all sorts of mental problems when he was young. that’s probably another indication of how much game he got, if he managed to win all those titles and majors even though he’s not too strong mentally. but i guess if he was really strong mentally too, he would have trashed everybody in every match. as much as i am a fed fan, it would have been a bit boring. i just wish that with aging he gets a little stronger mentally, he needs to improve in that department to top rafa on clay.

  27. Lily says :

    Very nice new blog !

    It’s was fun to follow the finale yesterday with your comments on twitter.

    I just hope you will sleep more this night !

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