SCANDAL: ROGER FEDERDORK CAUGHT CHEATING YO!

UN. FRIGGIN. REAL.

Just when you thought the Fedal bromance was coming back, Sir Rogie Shankalot has been caught red handed – CHEATING ON POOR RAFA WITH THE DJOKER.

And then – oh yes there’s more – the dude went and cheated on me (while I’m down with tonsilitis, I might add) with Miss Muffin!

HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND, SIR ROGIE SHANKALOT?!

And Ana – THIS IS WAR, BITCH.

When he was not cheating his little tush off, Federdork was pretending to be Shane Warne (another cheater I might add) in front of fellow daddy Ivan Ljubo, when the pair practiced at Roland Garros for the first time this year.

Whenever I was having too much fun in class, my history teacher used to say, “tsk tsk, we don’t smile in history class. How outrageous!”

That’s all I got for you Fed, ‘WE DON’T SMILE ON A PRACTICE COURT, OKAY? THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS YO!”

And since this post is turning into a Federganza, Credit Suisse recently published an interview with Roger in their emagzine. Roger chatted at length about mental strength (pffft!), role models (his parents, Edberg and Becker and Michael Jordan), and his private life (Interesting fact: the guy owns a chalet, where he’ll no doubt keep me one day on a diet of Swiss cheese and best-of-5-set sexy timez).

There were some serious conversations about his 08-09 “slump” – yer know, the stretch where he “only” made 1 semi, 3 finals and won 1 slam.

It’s almost as if losing the number 1 spot and then getting it back has made you even stronger than you were before.

That period definitely had its benefits. Ultimately it’s clear that, after seven years of dominance, you’re also going to have to lose once in a while. After all, I didn’t win every tournament before becoming number 1 either. Also, constant development has always been important to me – no matter how well or badly things might be going. I’m always on the lookout for new ways to progress and to bring variety and excitement to my life. For example, I tried out Dubai once as a training location, and suddenly I had this new base here.

Besides, even 2008, when things weren’t going as well and I went back to being only number 2 in the world, wasn’t such a bad season at all. I reached the semi-finals – at least – in all the major tournaments. My problem was that I couldn’t beat the top 5 players as easily as I had before. Although I could still do it now and again, I just wasn’t able to dominate them in the same way I had in the past. However, I always felt that there were good reasons why I wasn’t completely at my best during that time. On the one hand, I was suffering from mononucleosis, and on the other I had back problems, both of which interfered with my training regime. In hindsight, it might have been better to play fewer tournaments. But I would probably do it the same way again if I had my time over.

The conversation soon progressed to his relationship with the media.

At that time, many sports reporters had already written you off. How closely do you follow media reports and commentary about yourself?

I hear the odd thing now and then of course, but for me, the press conferences were a bigger problem. The journalists were constantly asking me: What’s wrong with you? Wouldn’t you be better off with a new coach? What’s wrong with your forehand? Having to respond to all these negative questions the whole time did affect me a little, and perhaps also generated a certain amount of self-doubt in myself. Then again, it is a bit weird to have to constantly explain yourself when you’re ranked number 2 in the world.

And the constant plague of injuries:

How much of a threat does the risk of illness or injury pose?

The risk of injury is actually not that high in our sport, certainly not as high as for a skier, for example. Our problem is wear and tear. That is why it is so important for us to detect the first signs of a problem at an early stage and respond appropriately.

That said, I play in pain 80 percent of the time. Something always hurts, but these pains often disappear again during the warm-up or can be massaged away by the physiotherapist. It is hugely important to know your body well and have a reliable early warning system.

That’s why the breaks in between tournaments are so important to me – not just physically but also mentally. The pressure of a tournament is as great off the court as it is on it. Everyone wants a piece of you: the fans, the sponsors, the journalists, and you are always under the microscope. Breaks like these are therefore hugely important to me. Then the desire to talk to people, give interviews and the like comes back too.

But it wasn’t all serious talk. Federdork was lingering in the background, waiting for his opportunity to speak.

I have read that you also wanted to become a rock star.

Of course! But I would still rather have become a star in another sport. On the other hand, being a lead singer in a rock band has a lot in common with a tennis player, be it the inspiration or the live contact with fans. This is also very direct in tennis and the reaction to a slip-up is immediate and mercilessly slaps you in the face.

But you don’t play an instrument…

No, not any more. I used to play piano a bit and even took lessons.

What do we think? Would Sir Rogie Shankalot have made a good rock star? Would he have been into heavy mental? Punk rock? Emo-screamo? Hipster indie? Oh the possibilities are delicious.

But Rogiebums, you already are a rock star to me!

*hands barf bag around*

:3 doots

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