Federporn Friday: RFed. Now 28% McDreamier on grass. Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw.
Dear Tennis Gods,
Now that we’ve gotten the formalities out of the way, time to get started on Federporn Friday (reloaded!). This week’s theme is unsurprisingly Wimbledon. Because despite all my grudges against the tournament (just because it’s Fed’s favourite doesn’t mean it’s mine), Wimbledon remains the tournament that brings out the best in McFederer.
As utter delicious as he is on all surfaces, Roger Federer on grass carries an extra sense of stillness and serenity.
And the hair, as usual, is 99% premium fair trade cocoa. You know it true!
But of course, McFeduhruh at Wimbledon isn’t all about grace in stillness, Woger wows equally in motion. Cue music: I BELIEVE I CAN FLYYYY. I BELIEVE I CAN TOUCH THE SKYYY.
… I SPREAD MY WINGS AND FLY AWAYYY.
Bend it like Federer yo!
Not only is his tennis music for our purist souls, Wimbledon also provides the perfect opportunity for some hair choreography by McFed.
Dootsie tried to imitate … to a lesser degree of success.
Of course, Woger at Wimbledon isn’t just about elegance and middle-class upyourassism. For all his graceful snootiness, Roger will always be the dorky chum-chum that he is.
Oh Federdork, never change. Here’s a glass of warm milk for ya! And some fairy bread too?
And when you get tired McFeddy, you know who has the most comfy shoulders to rest on in all of Wimbledon. Yes you do!
Like any good dancer, Woger McFed knows when he must point his toes and open up his shoulders. Take that Pistol Pete!
My favourite: hair choreograph, pointed toes, belted shorts. Tennis nirvana.
What are you favourite pictures of Woger at Wimbledon? Favourite matches? Most memorable moments? Do share!
Because Federporn Friday is back in business. Get off my lawn bitches!