Picspam: Wimbly Report

I trust that Poojay is keeping you well informed with the tennis results, so I’ll keep this on my observations of the tournament during Day 7.

And what a day it was, looks like the Australian Open weather followed me all the way to London, for as I woke up in the morning, cloudless skies stretched to infinity all around me. Good morning sunshine! Jetlag? What jetlag?!

Staying in Wimbledon has its advantages. The apartment was a 15 minute walk through leafy suburbia streets, where the scenery changed from rows of red brick townhouses to small cottages and then to much bigger cottages. Wimbledon is not unlike its Melbournian counterpart – Kooyong. But wherever you went, the scene of florals filled the air: people here are nuts about flowers – in gardens, pot plants, window boxes. Got a piece of spare soil? Fill it with something colourful.

By the time I strolled into the AELTC, “the masses” were already lined up outside the main gates like sardines. For some reason, one of the smaller gates let me in early, so I found myself walking around largely deserted grounds, keeping an eye out for … err … ‘objects of interest’.

Sure enough, about 10 steps in, Melzer and Petzschner came walking past on their way to practice, yapping away happily in German. I kept a distance and began stalking in earnest. The two led me, bizarrely, to Severin Luthi, who was headed in a different direction with a can of balls on his racket. Suddenly changing my target, I followed Severin, who eventually led me to Court 10, where through a growing crowd, I could make out someone hitting a single handed backhand …

Trampling over young boys and older women, I eventually fought my way to the front bench on Court 10 like a true bitch. I’m sure you’ll all agree that I had premium views.

Overheard at Wimbly

A woman to her husband: “Oh my goodness, I didn’t realise Roger Federer was such a young man!”

The gap between tennis age and real life age.

Another 20 minutes (focused mainly on the return of serve) and Wogie was done. I gathered my things and prepared to go: it was game day. Roger had his game face on (no playing with lady bugs yo!). He probably won’t sign any autographs.

Overheard at Wimbly

A group of AELTC staff wandered over, “Roger, can we get a photo?” “No problem … wait wait, I wasn’t ready!”

More staff hurried over, too shy to ask now that Roger is back to packing his belongings.

“Haha, you’re too late!” One of guys in the photo teased. Roger turned around and motioned to the camera, ‘it’s okay,’ he said, he’ll take photos with the rest of the staff as well.

“Thanks Roger, good luck for the tournament”, said a girl shyly as she got moved into the photo. The fans awwed.

Having taken enough photos, Roger walked over and began signing autographs for the onlookers. Federbear caught his eye with his epic cuteness, and Roger took him from my hands and signed it!

I guess future forms of bear torture won’t involve the washing machine anymore.

With the practice session over, I hopped along to watch a set of Bartoli v Pironkova.

Overheard at Wimbly

Guy: “Who’s that chick over there?”
Me: “that’s Bartoli.”
Guys: “she’s the 11th seed here, so she can’t be bad, right?”
Me: “Are you kidding me? She made the final here a few years ago.”
Guy: “[silence] … Naarrrgggh. Yer wrong.”

A set of Hamster tennis was all I could handle. With a lot of time to spare before Roger kicks off the Centre Court proceedings, I decided to hit the Wimbledon museum. Not being a tennis traditionalist, I had no idea what to expect from the museum. As it turned out, I didn’t regret my visit.

Overheard at Wimbly

Museum staff: “You look Aussie, are you Aussie?”
Me: “How did you know?!”
Museum staff: “I’m going to take a guess and say that you’re from Melbourne.”

The museum was chronologically organised, covering the history of tennis from the champions to the changes in technology, the balls, the racquets, and of course, the fashion.

What I didn’t appreciate fully before visiting the museum was the role tennis played in women’s liberation. I’m not just talking about BJK here. Suzanne Lenglen caused a stir when she ditched her petticoats to play in a cotton dress. Helen Wills Moody popularised tennis fasion and made this sport stylish and aspirational for young women. Hell, the Suffragettes even tried to burn down Wimbledon one year.

But naturally, this was what I really came to see.

I don’t know how Robert and Lynnette do it. As I was standing in front of Roger’s Wimbledon outfit from last year, as I looked at the trophy nearby, I was so flooded with pride. Roger might be older than me, but he still has the tendency to make me feel like a proud mama sometimes. Well … most of the time.

The darling boy can’t help himself he’s so adorbs.

Time for the match! I was highly amused for a minute, when I sat down and discovered the person sitting on my left, right, behind me, and in front of me were all Aussie.

“Wait … you too?”

“Me too! I’m from Adelaide.”

“Sydney here.”


“What are the chances?!” Everyone exclaimed.

“Well, I got my ticket through Tennis Australia.”

“Oh … that makes sense.”

What are the chances indeed.

Not much to say on the match. Roger kept it frazzle-free for me so I could use my time wisely to perve on his Royal Gorgeousness. For stretches of the match, I watched his feet, I watched his puny left arm, I watched his hair choreography. I also listened. Roger Federer has always been a quiet mover, but on grass? He’s totally silent. The only sounds were the shuffling footsteps of Melzer, the “plonk plonk” of forehands, “tap tap” of Federer’s slice, the “whoooosh!” as he suddenly hits through a backhand. Collective draw of breath from the crowd, and then – exhale, as backhand bounced, unreachable for Melzer.

Overheard at Wimbly

“Oh gosh, he’s so effortless. GOSH,” moaned the woman behind me, reaching tennis nirvana.

Fedgasms – it matters not if he plays B+, or A- or A+ tennis. It matters that you’ve seen his feet lift off the ground on a forehand, his torso rotating, his eyes watching the ball intently: friend or foe? It matters that you’ve seen him serve an ace, then turn around as applause rings through the stadium, the expression on his face nonchalant. I do this all the time you guys, no biggie.

It matters that I now have permanent bragging rights over my future grandchildren. “When I was your age, I saw Roger Federer play on grass, that guy was really something.”

By the way, Roger maintained his perfect record of never losing in front of me. 8-0. GET ME TO THE US OPEN NAOOOO.

Didn’t get Justine and Kim, but as far as OOPs go, getting my two favourite female players on centre court ain’t bad either. Fabulous first set tiebreaker, won in the end by the woman with the better serve. Like that should surprise anyone.

What was surprising was that this is the first time I’ve seen a crowd cheer for Maria Sharapova, partly because she was the underdog. Partly, I suspect, because of the Williams sisters’ uneasy relationship with the tournament.

Overheard at Wimbly

“Did you know that Serena once threatened an Asian woman that she was going to kill her?” Said the woman behind me.


I drank what I needed to drink. I ate what I needed to eat. Everything tasted better with plastic cutlery. YOU KNOW IT DID.

No photos of Mandy. My camera battery died the moment he walked out onto court. I took it as a sign from the Tennis Gods that I should stay far far away from his pants. So I headed off without watching his first set and had a failed attempt at swapping my centre court ticket for a Court 1 ticket.

Overheard at Wimbly

“Is anyone here desperately in love with Ahndee Murray that they’d be willing to swap me their Court 1 ticket?” I asked a group of people waiting to go into Court 1 during the change of ends.
Their laughter was the only response.
“Come on guys! I mean … he’s so cheery and bubbly.”
More laughter. “Don’t like Murray huh?” A guy asked.
“Well … no.”

Even the usher couldn’t suppress a giggle.

xx doots


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41 responses to “Picspam: Wimbly Report”

  1. PJ says :

    Bitch, love every single word and every single picture on that ultra fantabulous post. Pictures = complete ace. Overhead at Wimbly is SO giggleworthy!

    I’m so glad Rogie Wogie signed Federbear, AND maintained his no-losing record, AND got so close to you for pictures. I am SURE you have more pictures in your camera SO YOU WILL SHOW ME ALLLLLLL when you get back.

    Try to sneak in tomorrow! Feddy’s playing Berdy!! He needs you!!

    Missing you heaps, BTW. I have one less person to text frazzle with, yanno.

  2. Ribbons says :

    So. Much. Win. And so glad you are having fun!

  3. cecilia says :

    LOL hilarious girl
    and totally jealous here

  4. annalisa says :

    awesome!!! great one! 🙂

  5. FortuneCookie says :

    Amazing,so jealous I didn’t get tickets this year (damn you Wimbledon ballot!)!
    And your Muzz story…HA,i can imagine,there are still *a lot* of Brits (and other nationalities 😉 ) who need to be convinced about him!
    Hope you manage to get back in and see some other matches today despite our archaic ticket system 😛

    • dootsiez says :

      Boo @ your archaic ticket system. WHAT’S WRONG WITH SELLING TICKETS ONLINE. Bitch of a tournament.

  6. breadstix says :

    I nearly died so many times throughout that post! Epic, epic win. Can’t believe you caught so much of Woger. x3

    Overheard at Wimby should become a yearly thing. xDD

    • dootsiez says :

      Overheard at Aus Open 2011. You wait. 😉

      • PJ says :

        Overheard at Aus Open 2010. I still remember some gems. For example:

        “Federer’s that Spanish dude with a shorts problem, isn’t he?”
        “Do you even watch tennis? He’s from Germany. The Spanish dude is Nadal.”
        “Nadal? Isn’t he from Russia?”

        And so on.

  7. Lily says :

    Amazing post ! Thank you Doots 😀

  8. pban says :

    I see Anna , no sign of Gwen yet(thank you lord)…. keep it that way Roger. Doots great work stalking and hijack Gwen if you see her anywhere near Centre Court.

    • sita says :

      I am with pban. Please don’t let Gwen get anywhere near Roger’s match. I am going to pass out if I see her in his box.
      And Doots , considering Roger’s record with you watching – please please make it to the Berdych match.
      I have been losing sleep over this match ever since I saw the draw.
      Fab report and pics. I think Roger also needs some ‘Dootsiez style’ coaching too as preparation for the rest of the matches .
      Happy stalking 😀

    • Alex says :

      Keep Gwen away – she’s a total jinx!

  9. LJ says :

    oh man I’m so jealous, shoulda taken the ticket myself :p, I’m so glad you’re having fun, strawberries & cream FTW, hope you had some Pimms too

    and absolute LOLs at trying to exchange centre court ticket for Court 1, ahahaha

  10. Jack says :

    That Murray story made me laugh!

    Poor Andy….nobody loves him! 😀

  11. Amandita_FP says :

    Awesome awesome post doots! love it!

    I do hope you find a ticket for wednesday… feddy is playing berdych & that’s scary. I’d feel much better if I knew you were there…

  12. Mia says :

    This is a five-Federbear post. We’re living Wimbledon vicariously through you. And if you can, squeeze in for Wednesday – he so needs you.

  13. Dippy says :

    I hope you bring King Fed more luck on Wed match against Berdych, i am feeling super nervous now

  14. elisha says :

    I love flowers! lol. So I’m really liking the first picture 🙂 I’m so happy for you that you got to see Feddy up close and got his autograph on Federbear!! The Murray bit was hilarious! I’m actually quite surprised no one took you up on your offer! I thought he’d be much more popular…?? Thank goodness Anna was there. I feel like Roger always does well whenever she’s in his box. Can she please be present for the rest of the tourny? Plzkthx! lol. And no Gwen. Loved her in No Doubt, but outside of that… not so much.

    • dootsiez says :

      Hehehehe there was about 6 people I met near Court 1 trying to do the same thing as me – swap Murray for Djoko/Hewitt/Nadal!

      • LongLiveKingRog says :

        Hi Hi Dootsiez! it was nice to meet you albeit briefly! I hope you enjoyed the Masha vs Serena match – me and my friend left as i told you to try and swap centre for court 1 tix. And BOY. IT WAS DIFFICULT. I am shocked (or am I?) that Murray is MUCH LESS POPULAR than I think here. All that hype is media. Everybody we asked said they want to see Rafa. (normal really!)And bless my friend, she flew all the way from New York to see RAFA! for a moment I really thought she was doomed to ahhhhdndee. But thank goodness after almost 45 mins we found a pair who were TOO HAPPY to exchange with us – and we got into court 1 to see the last set of Lleydon ‘C’MMMMAWN’ Hewitt vs the Djoker and were in time for Rafa.

        And so jealous you got to see King Roger practising!!!!! I realise now you have to go REAL early to have any chance…. maybe i will try next year…

        Anyway I am going there again tmr (Wednesday). Really worried about berdych. Really!!!!!

        • dootsiez says :

          Boo! I have no ticket for Wed 😦 😦

          Glad you had more luck than me. I was out there til the Lleyton match finished. *obviously seeing Luthi was a bonus* Then I went back and saw the rest of Ahndee. Boo! 😦

  15. Alex says :

    Is Dootsie on a mission to get a photo with Roger?

  16. Karen says :


    I really hope you said that out loud!

  17. Red4Fed says :

    Fedgasmic post Doots! I’m so jealous that you get to see Roger play live on grass! Please please please be there for the Berdych match so I won’t frazzle so much. And as we are all living vicariously through you please continue to have a fabulous time (and continue posting those fabulous Federporn pics!)

  18. LongLiveKingRog says :

    Oh, and btw, you might want to go to Selfridges and get a French version of GQ – which Roger is on the cover!

  19. roadrunnerz says :

    Awesome recap! Thanks for taking us along for the ride.

  20. jandemom says :

    Thanks for sharing your wonderful day with us, doots! Lucky you :). Once again I wilk be away from TV & computer so if Roger needs any encouragement someone please cheer extra to cover for me. Come On!!!

  21. pban says :

    I share your fate jandemom but the live scores on my cell will drive me nuts I am sure…ever since the draw this was the one match I was petrified of before the semis 😦

  22. jfK says :

    I am so jealous of you Doots. You got to see both my faves Shaz and Rog on the grass. The photos of Rog pracitcing are heaven.Please please go to the Berdych match. I’m so nervous about it. The Mighty one needs you!!

  23. judy says :

    great reporting and sooo completely jealous of your adventure with mini and life size feddybear! it’s my dream to go to wimby one day to watch fed on centre court (with great seats) and get him to sign something in front of me, plus a pic! hell, i’d just be happy to shake his hand and somehow find the words to tell him he rocks.

  24. BS says :

    Great post doots! It was lovely to hear about your Wimbledon adventures. Loved overheard in Wimbledon. Funny stuff about Luthi 😛

    There really is nothing like seeing Federer play on grass. It’s pretty magical. So jealous that you got to see Sharapova aswell (my favourite) Enjoy the rest of your trip 🙂

  25. braggaditis says :

    Fawsome post.
    Doots and PJ rule!

    PS: Yeah, I’m that student who is delinquent in finishing his homework (aka reading the blogs). 😕

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