Federporn Friday (by PJ): Colours in haikus

As long as I haven’t slept, it is still Friday. So I am not late! Right? Riiiight?

So last week it was Federbond, all in shiny black. This week, I thought we’d have ourselves some Feddy in colours – although it’s not that easy to find anything non-blue, especially on court (har har). But I’ve got some, a small collection of Feddy in a box of crayons.

To make it slightly more interesting (and probably a million times lamer)…I present Federpon Friday to you…in haiku-form. You know how Dootsiez is this poet/rhymer person? Well, I can’t rhyme to save my life. So haikus it is.

(Disclaimer: I know nothing about haikus, the rules of its prose and what not, the only thing remotely haiku-ish about my haikus are the 7-5-7 syllable format. You have been warned.)


First off, we have RED.

Baby Fed in red
is the cutest babe ever
too adorable

Baby Fed grew up
to be very very hot
like chilli peppers

Then comes PINK.

He does not like pink
much as his face shows he thinks
pink is girly eeee

Then we have ORANGE.

Fresh in bold orange
his sweating is too sexy
fan girls faint and die

YELLOW is next. He should wear more yellow. It’s so bright and happy.

Sunshine yellow next
with a funny face on show
sexy legs to go

Nike’s His favourite colour (?) is up: BLUE.

Blue he wears too much
but he is still pretty no?
so no complaining

MAROON I think. I really don’t know. My friends say I am color-blind sometimes.

This one I puzzle
looks maroon not purple-brown
who cares, he is hot

PURPLE is the next crayon in the box!

Fedy’s first purple
was a disaster but next
he looked very good

GREEEEN I like green.

Fedy in bright green
is definitely more yummy
than vegetables

GRAY. Yes it is drab but it is a color. And Fedy thinks it needs more colors.

Now he rocks the gray
with coloured boxy displays
and a squishy smile

WHITE is the last but not the least.

White shirt Fedy wears
says go Swissy! US Open
Fucking win it please


Le end. No more haikus. Ever. Fun while it lasted pretending I can do haikus but I know myself very well, yessiree.

Enjoy the porn in colors, and this will be my last Federporn Friday for Head Bitch will be back on the Fence soon! Hurrah!

– PJ 🙂

P.S. On tennis-related news – it will be like freaking belated but I’m still going to write a Davis Cup post. In the interim, will venture into reading tennis news again and report all that is worthy, spam all that is hot, until next week.



About PJ

I'm a tennis nut. Loves watching and freaking out over tennis, and as of late, writing about tennis. As a player though, I'm terrible. My other interests includes reading (pretty much will give any genre a go), checking out films, crafting (making cards, scrapbooking etc), eating/food (specifically searching for the perfect chendol outside Malaysia). I'm also trying to find my own perfect corner in this world!

13 responses to “Federporn Friday (by PJ): Colours in haikus”

  1. marcoiac says :

    thanks pj, you should consider a haiku writer career. who knows, you may start a whole new sub-genre within the genre 🙂
    btw, even if you posted it after midnight your local time, the audience of this blog is all over the globe (which is a really cool thing), so for most of us it’ll be friday for many more hours. don’t sweat it. and sleep well now!

  2. Amandita_FP says :

    Great post PJ!!! & for me it’s still Friday morning =o)

    Loved the pics of Feddy in colors.. I wish he wore more purple and green, but he does seem to love blue for his outfits, doesn’t he? Oh well, as long as he plays great at the US Open, he can wear whatever he wants =o) Besides, he always looks great anyway =)

  3. pban says :

    cheers pj you were late but FPF was like always great 😉

  4. jfK says :

    Your FPFs were so fun PJ 😀
    My fave was the haiku for green…
    I wish Nike would put him in Lime Green like at the AO 06
    Ps. Didn’t you know he’s wearing Pink shirt and khaki shorts for Toronto/Cincy masters?

  5. judy says :

    i love rog in royal purple and green! i also loved rog in the collarless shirts he wore in miami and madrid this year. 🙂 job well done!

  6. sunnygrrl says :

    LUV LUV LUV the job you’ve done with FPF, and everything else for that matter while Doots have been gone!
    but I have to say…

    WHAT? No WIMBY WHITE…you could could do FPF on that alone! Sigh…maybe it would only have reminded us of this year’s Wimby? ;-(

  7. elisha says :

    My fave Roger tourny outfit is probably USO 2005. The blue and YELLOW bandana(?)!! But still, I would love for Roger to wear purple or green. I think he looks really good in both colors! Thank you so much for doing FPF for us PJ! I appreciated it very much as well as everyone else here 🙂

    I would love to read about what happened in Davis Cup for I am so confused about the drama that people keep talking about! (And I didn’t want to step into any tennis-related forum excluding Picket Fence.)

    • schnargle says :

      This is what I know, in short:

      Serbia v Croatia – Lots of drama and heckling from the Croatian fans (who were yelling ‘Kill the Serb!’ at Nole when he played Ljubicic). Serbia won anyway after Nole took both his singles, 4-1.

      Argentina v Russia – Despite not having played for ~3 months, Nalbandian was unexpectedly awesome and beat Davydenko in the first rubber, then Youzhny in the deciding rubber to take the tie, 3-2.

      Czech Republic v Chile – No Berdych, no Gonzalez. Nothing remotely shocking happened, but the Czechs won, 4-1. Moving on.

      The shocker:
      France v Spain – Rafa was off watching football resting his knees post-Wimbly, but the Armada were still expected to pull through. They were basically steamrolled by France who won 5-0, lol. (My love for Spanish sportsmen is on indefinite hiatus after Roger lost his Wimbledon crown AND the Germans were booted in the WC semis, so this result made me giggle.) Spain hadn’t lost this badly for more than fifty years, lololol.

      So it’s going to be France v Argentina, Serbia v Czech Republic for the semis.

      • elisha says :

        Yeah I was sad about the Germans being booted in semis again for WC… 😦 I don’t really like any of the Spanish tennis players excluding Rafa(and even that is… on shaky ground most times).

        Is Del Po still out? And is he seriously not playing USO this year? Nalbandian always does well when I’m not rooting for him.

        The one time I root for Djoko(against Berydy in wimbly semis this year) and he loses quite handily(?)…. I just remember even DURING Wimbly, comms were keep saying the word drama between Croatia and Serbia… Political, I’m assuming? Croatian fans are always a rowdy bunch(as are Spanish ones…. =X )

        And holy cow! I’m so happy France won!! I saw a bit of the Monf-Ferrer match, and saw Monf owning Ferrer. But wow, 5-0?? That’s insane! Thanks for the quick wrap-up!!

        • schnargle says :

          Yay another Mannschaft fan! 😀 The match against Spain was utter misery for me because with the way the two sides were playing a loss felt so inevitable. Plus my dad is a huge fan of Spain so I got very annoyed with him, lol. But the boys (and Jogi Loew) all got awards anyway when they got home, and now it seems everybody’s too focused on the Ballack/Lahm dramarama to remember that they lost. I just want them to not fight 😦

          I generally love David Ferrer, like JCF and Nando, and respect the others, but the double bitchslap of Wimbly+WC in less than two weeks depressed me so much that I was just like HA LOOK SPAIN CAN’T HAVE IT ALL YOU SEE. Also, YAY FRANCE. I think Nalby could probably take them all if he continues to play like he did against Russia, but I’d like whoever wins the France/Argie semi to take the Cup.

          Yeah DelPo’s still injured, and he’s confirmed that he’s not going to defend USO. I really really really want Roger to bounce back and win USO, but having said that Rafa will probably take that too, ehhh. (I don’t hate Rafa, but he has this annoying habit of beating all my favourites and winning everything I want Roger to win. For the first and last time in my life, I even rooted for Murray to win Wimbly after Roger lost, and then… yeah. Thanks Rafa.)

          Croatia and Serbia were at war around ten years ago (my European history is crappy but that should be right), and I guess a lot of people still aren’t okay with the whole ‘your countrymen killed my countrymen’ thing? The players seem to be fine with each other – I remember reading that Nole and Ljubicic are good friends – but crazy sports fans + a reason to hate the opponent never ends well.

  8. Anjali says :

    Thought you all should see this–posted from SI tennis mailbag to Jon Wertheim:

    “Visited Wimbledon for the first time, had tickets for Court 1, amazing place. Thought you might be interested to know that I attended Federer’s practice prior to his match and he was grabbing his back and muttering to himself throughout it.
    –Sophia, Glyndebourne
    • Very interesting. Thanks. And if any you have observations/tips like this in the future, feel free to pass it on!”

    • dootsiez says :

      That wouldn’t be the first report.

      My failed attempt at a haiku:
      Poojay’s Fridays
      Treads fine line between art and porn.
      Dootsie approves.

  9. northcay says :

    I love your Haikus!!! You can Haiku all you want as long as it is about RF. Actually, anything about RF sounds good even if what you hear is *grunt,grunt* or “baaa-baa” or “schnell, schnell”.

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