Shanghai Tales: Watermelons and sesame seeds.

1. ‘Pologies for the lack of bloggerific presence this week. Work, law school and life in general are all kicking my ass, the way Federer kicks R-


2. The earliest top 4 seed out of Shanghai, surprisingly, came to be Rafael Nadal, as he lost 6-1, 3-6, 6-3 to Jurgen Melzer over night. It was a simple formula of Melzer playing relentlessly boom-boom-pow-pow tennis and not missing for a set and a half. Rafa turned up only with a B-grade game – it was wasn’t bad by any means, it just wasn’t going to be good enough to weather a gutsy opponent who’s redlining his game and knocking on the doors of the top 10.

I’m guessing playing Bangkok and Tokyo prior to Shanghai didn’t help either. In an idiom of my wise and ancient ancestors in the Far East, let’s not “lose a watermelon to pick up a few sesame seeds.”

“I felt slow on court. I had more mistakes than usual. I played shorter than usual. A little bit more tired than usual in general, just physically and mentally. Just congratulate him and that’s it. Yeah, that’s it.

“He wasn’t a surprise for me. It’s true, he played very aggressive, but wasn’t very difficult play that aggressive against me today.”

Imagine the sheer volume of flak if those very same words were uttered by Federer.

3. A rather curious phenomenon in tennis: all the major journalists are reporting a rather vexatious lawsuit (fundamentally about tax and extortion) as ‘sports news’. A few high profile players’ names were dragged in, partly to make sure the defendant got maximum negative publicity, partly because … well, that’s what vexatious lawsuits are for.

And yet, YET(!) while these journalists did not hesistate to report groundless allegations as ‘news stories’, they’ve come out individually on Twitter to publicly proclaim their support for the innocence of the players involved – in a I’m-writing-this-story-because-it’s-sensational-but-I-don’t-personally-believe-it-has-any-merit way.


You had a choice: to write responsibly or not to write at all. You chose neither. You don’t get to cop out and pretend you have some semblance of journalistic integrity in your ‘personal capacity‘.

4. Never the mind the fact that he speaks 4 languages and evidently learnt his fair share of Swedish from Lundgren, Roger Federer has used his time in China to take Mandarin lessons. On a scale of 1 to LOL-worthy fail … you probably don’t want to know.

Mind you, it is one of the hardest tongues to learn, as skillful as I’m sure Roger’s tongue is …

Roger: “Oh BY THE WAY, I’m learning Chinese…”

MC: “You’re learning Chinese? That’s fanta-

Roger: “CAN I SAY A LINE?!”

MC: “… okay, sure!”

Roger: “CHING CHANG CHONG CHONG CHONG!” (Non-literal translation: I’m so happy to be in China yo!)

Crowd goes wild.

Video evidence: clickey

Someone must’ve told Wogie McFeduhruh that the way to a Chinese’s heart is through massacring their language.

The way into Dootsie’s pants, on the other hand, is through actually winning tennis matches. Hopp Suisse.

xx doots

Post Scripts:

  • Austrian headlines: MELZER CRUSHES NADAL. Strange definition of a ‘crushing’ they’ve got going on in Austria.
  • Simon Reed is an asshole.
  • I welcome Roger Federer to stick a tweener through my legs any day.
  • Is nothing sacred anymore? Nestor and Zimonjic split amicably. Nestor to partner with Mirny, while Nenad’s off to frolic with Llodra. Sucks to have a couple break up just when they’re starting to grow on you.
  • Kimiko dearie, at some point, you have to give the young’uns a chance, right? Right?! No? Okay then … You keep doing exactly what you’ve been doing (taking out defending champ Stosur in three sets over in Osaka). Gambate!

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12 responses to “Shanghai Tales: Watermelons and sesame seeds.”

  1. Maria says :

    Good to see you back girl! 🙂

    Rogi totally demolished Sod today, though it felt actually sad to wachMr. Dimples so out of sorts. Anyway, I am so looking forward to the semis.
    BTW Melzer totally crushed Nadal indeed, the title looks perfectly fine to me 😛 And Simon Reed is a well-known asshole for a long time now :/

  2. Annie says :

    Lmao at your interpretation of Roger’s attempt at chinese, haha. We know him so well :p

  3. jandemom says :

    Well, that was an efficient use of break points. 🙂 Good job, Rog, now get some rest so you’re fresh for tomorrow. Time for some SF “revengeance” against Nole. come on!

  4. jfK says :

    “Imagine the sheer volume of flak if those very same words were uttered by Federer.” So true. Double standards at their best. Lawsuit thing is bs too.

  5. Jack says :

    This may be a really stupid question but are Mandarin and Chinese the same language??

    I only ask because on this quiz show on tv, they asked what was the most spoken language in the world and I thought Chinese and it was Mandarin.

    And then I got all confused because whats the difference??

    (I fully realise this has nothing to do with tennis 😀 )

    • Sherryinabottle says :

      Short answer: yes.
      Long answer: Mandarin is the standard Chinese dialect, which is what is taught in schools. There are many, many dialects depending on what part of the country one is from. For instance, I speak Mandarin as well as the Shanghai dialect as I originated from Shanghai. Some dialects are sound completely different to Mandarin; it’s like listening to an entirely ‘new’ language.

      Hope that helps.

  6. Sherryinabottle says :

    Commentators: “Sends the fans delirious with delight”. Ha – yep!
    My cousin lives only 30 mins away from the SM courts, so *massive envy*
    As always, your posts are informative, unaffected, well-sourced, and gratuitous (at least when it comes to Federporn!). Thanks, doots.

  7. TennisAce says :

    Sometimes when I read some bloggers and see the contempt that they have for Federer etc and how his game does nothing for them and then I listen to them go all googly eyed over other players who when they are playing not only are the stands empty, but even when they hit good shots, they get an applause from the crowd and that is it.

    The day when people Djokovic, Murray, Monaco and even Nadal get standing ovations for a brilliant shot then yes I will stand up and cheer, but until then they just need to STFU

  8. pban says :

    aye aye to that

  9. BS says :

    Haha so funny! He gets so excited, he’s so childish 🙂

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