The post where we yell at Roger Federer.
Never mind that Murray played a controlled, consistent match. He covered the court well, found his first serve on at least half of the break points. Of course, those were positives from his side of the net. Clearly, HE KNEW HE WAS IN A MASTERS FINAL.
Now. Roger Federer on the other hand, evidently had no intentions of living up to his side of the bargain.
WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING? Besides showing UH-MAZING variety in your shanking abilities?
I’m probably going to have a few hundred Federer fan girls accusing me of not being a “real fan”, of not “supporting Roger” for this. You know what?
Some fans hold carrots. Others hold sticks. That’s just how we roll. You should all know by now that I’m not the type to point out the positives in a situation like this – sure: he got back the No 2 ranking, he beat two top 5 players in a week (which is more than Andy Jolly-Young-Lad, or any of the top seeds, had to do en-route to their Masters windfall). And suuuuuurree, it was a net-gain for Federer in the rankings regardless. But I’m just not inclined to let him off with a pat on the back when he plays such FUCKTASTIC, UGLY, CHOKERRIFIC tennis that aspiring little forehands, backhands and volleys spontaneous develop puberty blues and drop out of high school IN DESPAIR.
In short, No one gets to preach to me about how to “be a fan” from their vaginal high horse. THIS IS HOW I ROLL.
When Federer no-shows, when he gets broken in the FIRST FUCKING GAME because he was up 40-15 and felt the need to donate three unforced errors to Murray as sweet charity, when he sends an easy high smash all the way to Mallorca to say HOLA! to Rafa, when he gets pissy at the Chair Umpire and rattles off a string of pissy-French to send my pissy ovaries into excitement –
When he sets up points perfectly only to net the final blow in some kind of self-imposed cockblock –
When he converts a BIG FAT ZERO OF 6 BREAK POINTS (many of which on Murray’s pathetic excuse for a second serve) –
When he’s ALL THAT and more, he doesn’t deserve first class tickets into my pants.
He deserves FIRST CLASS TICKETS INTO A CHILEAN MINE.
Over to you!