The post where we yell at Roger Federer.

SHOOTINGFEDERBEAR

Never mind that Murray played a controlled, consistent match. He covered the court well, found his first serve on at least half of the break points. Of course, those were positives from his side of the net. Clearly, HE KNEW HE WAS IN A MASTERS FINAL.

Now. Roger Federer on the other hand, evidently had no intentions of living up to his side of the bargain.

WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING? Besides showing UH-MAZING variety in your shanking abilities?

I’m probably going to have a few hundred Federer fan girls accusing me of not being a “real fan”, of not “supporting Roger” for this. You know what?

Fuck that.

Some fans hold carrots. Others hold sticks. That’s just how we roll. You should all know by now that I’m not the type to point out the positives in a situation like this – sure: he got back the No 2 ranking, he beat two top 5 players in a week (which is more than Andy Jolly-Young-Lad, or any of the top seeds, had to do en-route to their Masters windfall). And suuuuuurree, it was a net-gain for Federer in the rankings regardless. But I’m just not inclined to let him off with a pat on the back when he plays such FUCKTASTIC, UGLY, CHOKERRIFIC tennis that aspiring little forehands, backhands and volleys spontaneous develop puberty blues and drop out of high school IN DESPAIR.

In short, No one gets to preach to me about how to “be a fan” from their vaginal high horse. THIS IS HOW I ROLL.

When Federer no-shows, when he gets broken in the FIRST FUCKING GAME because he was up 40-15 and felt the need to donate three unforced errors to Murray as sweet charity, when he sends an easy high smash all the way to Mallorca to say HOLA! to Rafa, when he gets pissy at the Chair Umpire and rattles off a string of pissy-French to send my pissy ovaries into excitement –

When he sets up points perfectly only to net the final blow in some kind of self-imposed cockblock –

When he converts a BIG FAT ZERO OF 6 BREAK POINTS (many of which on Murray’s pathetic excuse for a second serve) –

When he’s ALL THAT and more, he doesn’t deserve first class tickets into my pants.

He deserves FIRST CLASS TICKETS INTO A CHILEAN MINE.

Over to you!

xx doots

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43 responses to “The post where we yell at Roger Federer.”

  1. Deborah says :

    I’m such a wimp, I still love the guy. I may have the fan equivalent of battered wife syndrome. But to everyone else, keep yelling.

    • dootsiez says :

      *sigh* Aren’t we all battered wives?

      BUT EVEN BATTERED WIVES MUST HIT BACK SOMETIMES!!!!!!

      >:O >:O >:O

      • TGIF says :

        dootz,

        i hear you and i’m as critical as the next person, but if you’re feeling like a battered wife, you do realize that roger will be 30 next year and over the next few years will only continue to batter you harder?

        so i’m gonna take positives after all, not the #2 ranking etc., but beyond wins i’ve always wanted roger to conduct himself like a champion which he does sometimes but not all the time and I for one was happy w/ his attitude this week.

        wrote a few months ago how sick to death i was of the “pissy” pressers 15 minutes after the match. well this time he waited and was calm and that may annoy you more but i love it. and i thought the mandarin thing was adorable too, he’s opening up his personality more and more in these later years which is just as it should be.

        so crap final but i for one don’t feel battered by this tourney.

  2. Emma says :

    Doots, I know you’re not REALLY deeply annoyed with him, but I think you’re being too harsh. He’s only human! And he’s an ‘old’ human in tennis terms! It might have been more of an explicable loss had he bombed out to Nole in the semis, because Nole was in better form, but it wouldn’t have been better just because he wouldn’t have raised our hopes so much.

  3. Dippy says :

    Aww, Doots, I am sure you will still love Roger. Yes Ferddy Turd showed up today but at least he reached his Final. I am sure he will give us more joy in a few weeks time

  4. Jack says :

    I slept through the final…..looking back now, wise decision! Not sure seeing that shithouse performance would have done me any good!!

    And I know people say “at least he reached the final” but I’m not happy with just the final. I wanted him to win the final…..plus I think my intense dislike for Murray is coming back so that doesn’t help.

    I’ll sill always gonna be a fan but these fuddtastic performances that occur are beginning to get very irritating.

    P.S Totally off-topic but who is that woman in that pic?? She looks familiar!🙂

  5. sita says :

    Sigh,,,,,So his twin brother , Ferd the Turd, decided to show up today of all days😦
    He streamrolls through Isner , Sod, Djoker all for this ………

    I don’t know why I expected miracles from him after Toronto… He can only manage back to back matches so many times in a row, I guess, now that he is an ‘old man’ in tennis terms. He was obviously more tired than Murray , having played the second SF , with less than a full day to recover…so this isn’t too much of a surprise…and I can’t get myself to be mad at him .But that doesn’t mean my heart is not broken after seeing him lose that way, shanking every other ball and dumping everything into the net. I was worried he would smash his racket at one point, in fact, I felt like smashing one on his behalf…

    The fact that you are so mad at him shows that you still expect much more out of him , and don’t try to rationalize the loss like some of us do. And I commend you for that, Doots !

    • dootsiez says :

      Well according to my twitter feed, no one has managed to win 3 back to back matches against the top 5 since Nadal in Monte Carlo 2008 where he beat Fed, Davydenko and FERRER to win the title. So I’m guessing it’s not just “old men” who can’t string top 5 wins together.

      WEAK ERA.

      • marcoiac says :

        yeah, that’s the issue, there are no real men around anymore. i, for instance, slept through the thing like a baby. not a bad decision.

        but, hey, “aspiring little forehands, backhands and volleys spontaneous develop puberty blues and drop out of high school IN DESPAIR.” it’s a great line. being angry inspires your writing.

        the rest is good too: first class ticket to a chilean mine, sustain guerrilla warfare against fed. good stuff.

        now, you may want to consider taking out fed’s vid where he repeats ‘i don’t give a shit’ it’ it’s quite annoying for the reader of this blog. i think you made your point well….

        and now i am gonna go through all the insults directed to fed in my twitter timeline. it should be fun reading!

        • dootsiez says :

          Oh no no. That thing stays to fully express my madness. >:O

        • marcoiac says :

          i knew it! while i was typing my request, i thought ‘not a chance in hell she’s gonna take it out.’ techno-guerrilla warfare a la dootsiez

    • elisha says :

      Yeah, I was expecting him to pull another Miami 2009…. Glad he didn’t. Honestly, not sure what to make of this loss…. It’s about as perplexing as the USO semi loss. How does he go from playing pretty, solid tennis to… shanksville-like tennis? I’d be pissed, but I’m more confused than pissed. =/

  6. ali says :

    weak era… bullshit! old man… double bullshit! I am with you doots! I love him, his tennis, his vibe, his fuzzy belly, his kick ass grace, speed, power and mind-blowing ability with languages and well… his entire Rogie mojo magic thing, but… I am dumbfounded! he so much as said it in a presser this weak, that mentally he was getting ahead of himself at the us open during the djoker match and wasn’t there and we know what can happen when Sir Roger isn’t there, this is a mental thing kids.

    jack – my intense dislike for muzza will never go away and another handover to that unpleasant sod just makes my blood boil. he did what he had to to win for sure, but Rog didn’t show up. it was an amazing tourney for 4 matches considering the heartache that was his summer and the long layoff. but, no excuses… he needs to stay mentally tough and stay present.

    I an not on fantasy island here when I say ROGER CAN BEAT these yahoos… when he shows up and plays his game, not his opponents. breathe deeply and move forward… he is rebuilding, as they say, and well… that puny left arm is too adorable for me to give up on. but, next time I might just not get up in the middle of the night (unless it’s the aussie open of course)!

    keep the faith fedfans!

    • marcoiac says :

      of course, it boils down to execution for fed, against every player and more so against muzza, who doesn’t give freebies. unfortunately, fed’s consistency in executing went down lately. i think this is why he needs to change his general gameplan. i think annacone’s role is exactly that, helping him changing his gameplan. more serving and volleying and chipping and charging, and sneaking in following a deep sliced shot, i would like to see that. i think that between keep shanking from the baseline and charging the net, even when there is a high chance you get passed, the latter is a smarter plan.

      i didn’t know he said that mentally he was getting ahead of himself at the USO. of course, tennis is a big mental game. but it’s also a game of heart. i wonder how much heart has he left for the game.

      and, never underestimate human’s ability to unconsciously build stories that aren’t true, to rationalize something they don’t like. i frankly find it hard to believe that he was getting ahead of himself when facing the djoker in the semi at the USO

      • ali says :

        he spoke rather unguardedly about it in one of the pressers this week (you can find if you are interested). heart is not rogers problem. I just saw his last presser… check that one out too (he speaks about his forehand going off and confidence waning). his game is so fast, he picks up the ball so early (Annacone is just the man for Fed and I hope that their mutual trust grows – the outcome could be outstanding) that if his head isn’t all there it can go off the boil – and that happened to him when he was younger too… 3, 4, 5 years ago.

        Roger is a magician (the best the game has seen) ergo his game IS very mental (when the gifts are tenfold the mind must be sharper). getting older, dealing with physical issues and I do believe the way the press has loved and loathed his overwhelming talent and presence has taken it’s toll. to be held up so high and then the attempted dismissal after a couple of QF losses – especially after all he has accomplished and give to the game, I think has been troubling for him. he is just now managing all that and I believe making the adjustments mentally and physically.

        Roger, like all of us, is a work in progress and shifts in his career require time at every age. how much heart he has left for the game is absolutely not it… it’s how much patience he has for the minutiae, and all that he has to do outside the game that he must manage.

        I, for one, see many great things… as long as he doesn’t let the bullshit eat at his enormous heart and love for the game and all that it means to him and HE TO IT!

        FORZA FEDFREAKS!

        • marcoiac says :

          i substantially agree with all you say, especially the bit on ‘changes take time’ and the high potential of the federcone rock band. but, when was the last time he turned a match around? when he was really down and dug deeper and managed to win a match that seemed lost? i frankly don’t recall any recent one. true, it’s statistically unlikely that he gets in that situation, cos he dominates most matches, and even when he doesn’t dominate he doesn’t get dominated either, but still…the last one i remember was the US open final against agassi. one set apiece, agassi seemed in control of the third set, and fed storms like a hurricane to get the title.

          anyway, he shouldn’t get a twitter account and especially shouldn’t follow most of his fans. last night (for me, during the final, i mean) they were really lashing out. wow.

          i guess is the love-hate thing

          p.s. i also agree on ‘magician’ ‘best ever’ ‘work in progress’ and especially ‘forza fedfreaks’!

  7. roadrunnerz says :

    Saw the score when I got up this morning. First thought was: WTF?

    Second thought: Ouch. *cringe*

    Third: Man, am I glad I didn’t get up in the middle of the night for THAT one.

    What DID happen?

    Somehow it does hurt more when it’s a loss in a final. It’s that whole “SO close but no cigar” aspect that makes it sting just a little more.

    Still love him though.

    I’m kinda hopeless that way when it comes to Federpoop.🙂

  8. jfK says :

    gahhhhh 0/6 bps…and not winning alot of pts on 2nd serve. some UGLY stats from Roger. It sucks b/c after the match with Iz, Sod, and Djoker I thought things were finally coming together for him. Just like @ the USO after that awesome match with Sod, but then the letdown with Djoker😦 . Today he just could never find any momentum.

  9. A_Gallivant says :

    I love the tough love you are doling out Doots! It really looked like Fed just ran out of ideas out there. I did adore the pissy French tirade as well–that was hot!

    Fed just didn’t seem to have an answer to Murray putting every single ball back into play, waiting for Fed to hit it long or into the net. Fed also seemed completely puzzled by his forehand mishits. His looks after were classic. I was hoping for a Fed spanking the likes of WTF ’09 to Murray. Urrr

    • Deborah says :

      I think some of the brutal fan reactions (not you, doots, never you) is a bit like the press: the Roger is superman narrative. It’s one of the reasons, Nadal can call a loss “an accident” and the press nods while Roger says I wasn’t at my best physically and gets called “low rent.” As tough as it is, I’m willing to be patient ( 16 slams, anyone?) I may be whistling past the graveyard but I do believe there is a dominant season left, yes at damn near 30. I really don’t have any choice. I lost my mind over a cream colored jacket and tennis that defied geometry in 2006.

  10. evie says :

    It was a horrendous day for him. Hard to pick which miss was the most painful, but I’ll go with his first BP to get back on serve which he set up perfectly for a crosscourt winner, only to instead send a pitiful DS into the net. I was speechless. It was like watching a parallel universe.

    Losses will happen. I’m not going to flip (too much) every time, but I am a bit dismayed that Roger called it a ” close match” in his presser. It wasn’t close. The first set should have been 6-1. If he doesn’t recognize that he was crushed, how can he fix the problems?

    I did notice that he repeatedly praised Murray in the presser, yet some tennis journalist managed to write a whole article on how Federer made too many “strange” excuses and didn’t “simply give Murray credit.” He’ll never win that battle.

    • marcoiac says :

      parallel universe, that’s it! last night match is just a case of the ‘many-worlds interpretation of fed’s tennis.’ in quantum mechanics you have these theoretically possible many worlds (although you can only be aware of existing in one of them). that’s what happened. problem is, we all jumped into the wrong instance of many-worlds. other lucky fedfans watched him winning in straight sets, 100% BP conversion, no shanking, the usual sublime stuff.
      i really hope in 2011 i get to be in the world where he gets back to no. 1!🙂

  11. girl_from_mi says :

    I wish I was a ‘glass half full’ kinda person. ‘Cause yes, he did reach the final. He did earn 600 points. He did surpass Djokovic for the #2 spot. But…

    But my glass is half empty because he just fucking blew this final. Props to Murray and all that crap. But this was Roger’s to win. Or lose. And we all know which way that went.

  12. Jodi says :

    I hope Mirka kicks his luscious Swiss arse.

    That is all.

  13. BS says :

    Slept through the match and now I’m glad I did. I probably wouldn’t mind this loss so much only for the fact that he lost to Murray. I didn’t watch so I can’t judge his performance but it’s disappointing that he went from playing such good tennis all week to winning just five games in the final. He has 4 tournaments left and a lot of points to gain and I want that Basel title back. London would be a bonus aswell, but who knows which Roger will turn up. I’m still convinced that he’s not going to play Stockholm. So… just go away Ferd. None of us want you on a tennis court😛

  14. PJ says :

    Meh, my sentiments exactly. I’d say more but I’m at the point where I’m all raged out. But this makes for good breakfast reading. With some giggles. Don’t stop being the fan you are. I love the tough love. It helps me (and some) deal.

  15. jandemom says :

    Ugh. Husband & I woke up at 4:30, crawled downstairs & settled in to watch Roger punish Murray (my least favorite tennis player ever, don’t like a thing about him). Instead we saw Rog play some truly P.U. stinky tennis; what a bummer after a week of solid, entertaining matches. Next time we’re staying in bed. Maybe.

    Since I’ve recently taken a vow of positivity and non-fretting regarding Fed, I’m not going to get too worked up about this crummy match. I haven’t watched his presser or read anything about it yet, but he cannot be satisfied with anything about today’s blown opportunity.

    I agree with many of the things you all have posted & always enjoy reading your insights and opinions. We are a devoted bunch, a little loony at times — but what can we do? Roger’s the best, even when he’s not playing like it.

  16. Lost in translation says :

    It was a disappointing final (to put it mildly…) but this post made me laugh. And suddenly I became “glass is half full’ person🙂

    Before the tournament Roger said that he didn’t know what to expect in Shanghai but he will be ready for Basel. So what did we get: playing great most of the time, beating good players, Robin and Nole including, getting to the fourth straight Master1000 final, getting back his No. 2. Yes, shit happened, but not bad in general:-)

    As to losing to Murray, this does not concern me in the least. Murray did not look very happy after the final and I bet he was thinking… why, why, oh why this did not happen at the AO2010… Cha :-))))))))))

    • jandemom says :

      Congratulations on that “glass is half full” outlook! Positive energy is always a good thing. I laughed when I read doots’ post, too – as I usually do, even when she’s abusing poor Federbear (hope he’s OK today).

  17. pban says :

    tough love my ass, i want to kick his butt for that wimp of a display …..and against Murray of all people.Go away Ferd you miserable pile of turd, I promised my heart after the USopen that I would take better care of it ….. a whole lot easier when you are not playing.

  18. flo says :

    Dropping by to say that I’m with you feministas on Don’s midlife crisis known as Megan. But if he ended up with Faye they would struggle with season 5 to come up with organic problems in his home life – that is, apart from Betty Francis and Sally and Bobby. Faye was too good for him in the end. Don: the douchier Gatsby.

    • dootsiez says :

      LOL flo, did you read my tweets?

      Douchier Gatsby sounds about right. Felt like Don was making progress this season, coming into the open with Faye about his past and trying/failing to stay off alcohol. AND THEN HE RETREATS BACK: Megan is within his safety zone. She’s basically an improved version Betty (read: actually goods with kids). History shows that Don treats women who love him as equals as mistresses, and those who adore and depend on him as wives. Same old, same old …

    • steve says :

      I can’t resist randomly interjecting here; I’d say that Daisy was not too good for Gatsby. She was a shallow rich girl who married a dumb, racist, washed-up college athlete. She enjoys being in love with Gatsby, but when it comes down to it, she rejects him because he isn’t in the same social class and she doesn’t want to give up the comfortable, respectable life she enjoys. She ends up killing her husband’s mistress and she lies to her husband that Gatsby did it and she gets away with it because she’s rich and she doesn’t have to take responsibility for anything.

      Gatsby’s tragic folly was making her his obscure object of desire for so many years. He created a whole facade of a life to try to win her love back, but it was all pointless in the end because she turned out to be much less than what he built her up to be.

      I don’t really follow the show, but Draper doesn’t seem tragic. He’ll always manage to survive because he’ll never pour his heart into one thing the way Gatsby did. That cleft chin, if nothing else, will bail him out of trouble.

  19. Lady B Good. says :

    Hi, we must take the positives from this, look how well RF played in matches leading up to the final, though i am upset at the result, maybe he had the IMG, thing on his mind, who knows? Though i am not a fan of Andy
    Murray, he did play well, though it pains me to say this! Who are we going to get mad at when Roger retires?
    He has given us so much down the years, these are the bonus years, so lets enjoy them the whilst we still
    can, and yes in spite of yesterdays result, i still love you Roger Federer.

  20. Katarina_YYZ says :

    awww, I love Fed’s ‘not giving a shit’ clip… and I love you not giving shit, that’s cool too… and I love Roger. Yes, he should’ve beat the ostrich, and yes, that linesperson who screwed up the call should be wrapped in bacon and thrown to the wolves. But since he won FO/wimby 2009, I promised myself to stop freaking out so much about every single one of his matches. (Now I freak out slightly less.) Because one day he will stop playing, and I’m not sure I will care about this sport as much, or ever cheer for anyone else the same way.

    • Deborah says :

      Ditto! Although, I know I won’t care or cheer as much. I sure won’t be setting my alarm for 3:30am matches a half world away for anyone else. Only Roger can make me do that!

  21. GrüeziMiteinander says :

    In today’s press interview from Stockholm he said that t wasn’t very tiring in Shanghai, because the only tough match he played was the SF against Djokovic…

    Honestly, he could have avoided this comment. Either he’s giving no credit to Murray (as much as I dislike him must admit that he played quite well in the final) or he’s implying that the only tough matches are those that he wins… His dismissive attitude toward the matches he lost recently sounds more and more like his own mind-game. Is he trying to fool himself or what?
    I agree with what Marco wrote, that he is maybe unconsciously creating stories meant to rationalize the fact that he’s not as consistent as it used to be…

    All this being ranted out, i still love Rogie’s beautiful, classy game, and I’ll keep on watching him as long as he can hold a tennis racket in his hands. He’s still the only one who can play tennis with such a heavenly grace that all other players pale in comparison, even when he brainfarts so much that you would want to report him to Swiss Clean Air Commission!🙂

    • dootsiez says :

      GrüeziMiteinander, I think you’re nitpicking what Roger said a little. By “tough match”, I think Fed was talking about the length and physical nature of the match – the final was a beatdown, but it wasn’t at all “tiring” for Fed, which I believe was actually what he was actually saying in that context.

      But, you know, you can take it out of the context and make it sound like he was dissing Murray. If you must …

      • GrüeziMiteinander says :

        Sorry, but i didn’t take it out of context to make it sounds as he was simply dissing Murray. I quoted him almost literally, and yes he was talking about about whether he felt tired after Shanghai. Still, just like anyone else I’m entitled to interpret his words, and sometimes omissions can be as telling as a full declaration. My impression was that he is somehow downplaying his losses, avoiding to mention the final against Murray but instead pointing out that it was somehow harder to win against Djokovich – when the two matches were both decided over two sets. Albeit the SF was surely longer and more physical the the F, to me it still sounded as some sort of avoidance strategy.

        It could very well be a strategy of positive self-encouragement, as his own mental attitude surely plays a big part in his game. Fully understandable, but still open to interpretation… or not?😉

        • dootsiez says :

          Of course you’re entitled to “intepret his words”. I just think you’re reading wayyy too much supposed “motive”, “motivation” or “intention” into something that I think didn’t even pass through his brain for longer than a second. Sorry if I came across extra-bitchy in my last comment, it’s just one of those things that annoys me – people psychoanalysing Federer through one line

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