Passing Thoughts: Weekly 5.

1. Hallelujah! I’ve emerged from the dark ages of exam and work stress into the beginnings of a beautiful Australian Spring.

Meanwhile, it seems that the spring in Roger Federer’s season has just dawned (ABOUT EFFING TIME!). We’ve come a long way since Woger McFed wrenched my gut into a million heart-shaped pieces, bleeding over the lawns of Wimbledon. He’s in a different place now, physically and mentally from the ‘16 slam burn-out’ he had back in March-July (although by “tennis burn-out” standards, two slam QFs and finals in Madrid and Halle barely register on the scale).

You sense it, as a fan. It’s amazing how well we get to know the subtleties of a player’s body language, his expression, the way he exudes a certain feeling. You notice the little changes: that extra sway in his tomcat walk; the calmness – as opposed to frantic shanks – with which he executes devastating shots; that focused nonchalance, as he slowly and calmly clenches his fist after winning a spectacular point, as if to say “oh it’s no biggie … brilliance is just me in the State of Nature, and the Leviathan is what you’re up against, BITCH.”



My point is that there has been a wind change. There is a presence of mind now that was lacking during the middle of the year. That’s not to say that he hasn’t had shanky-times in the past few weeks, or that he was playing total shitfuck tennis between the Australian Open and Wimbledon. It’s just that these days, he’s seeing the ball better. He’s executing better. There’s an extra spring in his step. Less demons. More focus.

Really, at the end of the day, this is my convoluted way of saying “OH-MAH-GAH! VAJAZZLE ME NAOOOOO!”

2. Watching Monfils play, you sometimes wonder why he needs all the acrobatics. Sure, it’s his style, he’s capable of it, but often, when you see acrobatics get in the way of a solid win, you just wonder why, WHY THE FUCK can’t you just calm down and grow up for a bit?!

The answer, I’m beginning to suspect, is that Monfils needs his little stunts the same way that other players need confidence. In fact, his showy performances are precisely confidence building. He’s a player who depends emotionally on a stroke of inspiration, which makes him entertainment and frustration all at the same time.

Or, to revert back to the wise words of Hootie and the Cookie Monster: like a cookie, Gael Monfils is a sometime food. Not substantial enough to be filling, at times sickening, but often, quite simply crunchy and deliiiish.

Monfils has a chance for the final: it’s Paris, and he’s a theatric player who needs a loving audience to thrive. If he was to ever beat Federer anywhere, surely, a best-of-3-set Bercy match is more likely to be his best chance?

Still, it’s hard to imagine that Federer, barring a temporary onset of tennis coma, would give him as many looks as Toothface gave him today.

3. Unless you’re just ideologically opposed to a particular player, it is almost impossible NOT to like someone’s A-game. At the end of the day, regardless of style or personality, good tennis is good tennis. It’s as black-and-white as that.

I’ve been catching up on some of Llodra’s matches in the last few days. One word: inspired.

How delightful and refreshing is his game? Especially on this surface, on this court.

All this is traced back, according to Dootsie’s Universal Theory of Everything-Is-About-Wogie, to that fateful pink shirt during the US Open series. The Magic Pink Shirt has been worth its weight in sweat … SWEAT OF EXCELLENCE BITCHES.

4. Nadal, Federer, Djokovic, Murray, Soderling, Berdych, Ferrer, and Roddick. These 8 men make up the field at Whu-Thu-Fuh in London. My heart aches for Melzer, who barely missed out on what would’ve been a deserving spot in London.

(Moot point, but I hazard a guess that Melzer would’ve made things far more complicated for the top 5 than, say, Ferrer or Berdych. His smashed racquet after losing the tiebreak to Federer today probably showed the extent to which he’s NOT just another happy sucker, only too pleased to lose to Rog or Raf. Dude was genuinely bummed not to have taken the set off McFed.)

Nadal will end his 2nd year as the World No 1. With today’s win, Federer will end his 8th year in a row inside the top 2.

To think that at one point during 2010, the media speculated the demise of either or both of these players. “This is the end of Fedal!” claimed Agassi at the beginning of the year, proving himself to be more foolish than the man proclaimed the end of history.

How privileged our eyeballs are. How blessed the world of tennis.

5. If you ever needed a definition of Daddy’s Little Girl:





Oh Wogie! You are the Edward to my Bella. (Yes, you just barfed a little into your own mouth.)


Courtesy of l’Illusté. If there’s a more charmed life, I haven’t seen it.


Off to sharpen my fangs and extinguish the fire burning up my ovaries.

xx doots


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24 responses to “Passing Thoughts: Weekly 5.”

  1. Mia says :

    Awww, that picture of the women in Fed’s life. Love, love, love. Great to hear you’re decompressing now, Doots.

  2. sue.w says :

    Awww Doots !! Those pics of the Mighty Babes and Mirka have had me awwing for days, not to mention the Daddy/Daughter pics!! The love in Mirka’s eyes says it all!! Sigh…….
    As for Wogie in Paris ..Oooh La La !! Who would of thunk it!! I agree totally with your evaluation of him, he IS different, he IS more focused, he IS more relaxed and at ease with himself !! Long may it continue!! WOOOO HOOOO !! Hope he gets rid of the *acrobatic clown* asap!! Cant abide his stupidity on court though I’m extremely happy he rid of us of Toothface !! Monf could be soooo good but instead chooses not to be and makes such a show of himself its embarassing………Anyway GOOOOOOO WOGIE!!!
    Llodra has been a dark horse trotting his way through and I hope he takes out Sods!! Would make for a lovely final with Wogie winning of course !! LOL !
    Good to hear your back with us and hope all your exams and work stress stuff is now in the distant past !! Love this place !!

  3. Maria says :

    Been waiting for your new post! 🙂 And it was worth the waiting, it was awesome! 😀

  4. sita says :

    Things are too good to be true at the moment. Fed’s been playing like a dream. Honestly, I hadn’t expected him to make it past Baby Fed ’cause I thought he’d have very little in the tank post Basel both physically and mentally. The tennis Gods have been kind and the draw wide open . So fingers crossed that he goes all the way and gets this elusive masters title.
    I agree Llodra’s S&V game has been delightful to watch. Would be awesome if he made it past Soderling and we have a replay of the match that preceded the “SOE Transfer ” with the same result and complete with the shirt swap 😛
    LOL at Monfils and his antics.I think he is funny and brings his unique brand of entertainment though not necessarily with his tennis.The home crowd must be happy to have two of these going deep in the tournament.
    Squeeee at the daddy-daughter pics!! Woger McSquisherer was born to slay ovaries, I tell ya.

  5. Matt Zemek says :

    Mirka Federer’s face says things a quadrillion words couldn’t completely express. Wow.

    But there’s a problem with this (inspirational, most sensational, celebrational, muppetational, overflowing-with-excellence) post.


    Or at the very least, with a nod to the Frenchness of Misseur Lllodra, “LE FUC OUUUUIIIIIIIIIHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! LE SWEAT PAR EXCELLENCCCCCCCE!”

    (Inspired by American collegiate basketball commentators — —- my caption for the Frenchie would be “FRENCH ONION SOUP – LLODED WITH EXTRA CHEESE! But that’s just me……)

    I’m GRAVELY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, DOOTS….. and by “gravely disappointed,” I mean that I’m treating you the way lots of Federer fans treat Wogie during a match, unleashing F-bombs and getting all over his ass when he does very little wrong, is still playing legitimate A-minus tennis, and gets pushed only because the opponent (Melzer in the second set yesterday) elevates his game, red-lines his shots, and spills the tank with expertise and wowie-zowie boldness.

    It must be (Woger) Wuv.

    • dootsiez says :

      Oh noes!!! I forgot to be culturally specific in my swearing!!! I’m in decline! I’m losing my touch!



  6. roadrunnerz says :

    Well, first off, congrats for making it through the dark ages of exams. And making me grateful that I’m no longer in school, lol.

    But Doots!! The pictures!! That is TOO MUCH CUTENESSS to wake up to. Seriously uber-adorable.

    Am watching Llodra-Sod now while reading your post, and I gotta say, not that I can ever root against Federpoop…I kinda sorta want Llodra to win the whole damn thing at this point. Love that you gave him a shout-out here. His match vs Fed in Toronto was one of my faves this year. And the shirt exchange at the end was just icing on the cake. (Totally agree with your theory btw…I think Toronto, esp. the Berdych match, was a turning point for Fed this season and obviously he knows good karma needs to be passed along. Now Tomas, he NEEDS a shirt exchange moment, stat)

    • dootsiez says :

      Tomas needs to keep wearing whatever stinky shirt he’s wearing right now. Pffft!

      Oh roadrunnerz, I was just getting optimistic. 😦

  7. PSP says :

    Glad to see you re-surface from your overloaded world, Doots! The first picture is just pure beauty. Keep it up, Roger. 🙂

  8. lapinroyal says :

    Great post… long times reader… this is my first comment!
    You are hilarious… ROFL

  9. jfK says :

    oh crap. Roger is trying to break the record for most matches lost with holding mps.
    No more Mr.Lavender 😦 so sad.

  10. sunnygrrle says :


    I’m always scanning my email for an update notification for your website but when it’s been too long, I visit the site directly out of desperation even though my mind tells me you haven’t updated, my heart tells me to go try anyway…

    I was looking forward to seeing how you would gloat about the return of the Federer Express…no local stops please…just straight to the finals…thank you very much! Ironic though…that this post goes up just as the FEDEX ends one stop short of his third straight final!! 😦

    OH WELL…

    • dootsiez says :

      Oh sunnygrrle, I had a little inkling, but I said “NO!” It’s only Monfils.

      Never did I think Roger would be SUCH a retard in losing, after 5 mps. I wish it was never close.

      • sunnygrrle says :

        SIGH… I was just saying the same thing…

        Honestly, I thought with the addition of Paul Annacone there wouldn’t be a need for a sports psychologist on the payroll, but WH:AT THE HELL with the Multiple Match Point Non-Conversion Disorder !@#!?! He’s definitely helped to tighten up his game somewhat and shorten/sharpen up that backhand, but who’s gonna HELP HIM WITH THIS HEAD?!?!! 😦

        I was hopeful when I had read recently that Paul Annacone used to tell Pete Sampras that “he was Pete Sampras and they were not, and that he should go impose himself on the others…” and that that made a huge difference in Pete’s late career comeback, that this would bolster Fed’s obvious mental issues…but OBVIOUSLY…Annacone is not getting the message across!!



        Get to it GURL! And don’t forget to use some of those great visual aids of yours to get your point across!!!

        An entire legion of fans will be in your debts…we will erect statues…I promise! 🙂

  11. breadstix says :

    Welcome back, doots! Our lives were not complete without youuu. And Feddy! Oh he so squishy!

    Oh Federpoopy. 😦 I was hoping that making it to the SFs at last with Monfils and Bobby Sod standing in your way was some kind of message from the tennis gods but alas, evidently they had something else in mind. Oh, and damn you and your aversion to bp conversion, Roger.
    *sad face*

    (I actually had to be reminded today of Roger’s loss to Sod at RG, and to Hewitt at Halle, and to Berdy at Wimby. Turns out that I am just *that* good at blocking these things out.)

  12. crumbs says :

    Hi there,

    You. Fucking. Jinxed. it.

  13. Katarina_YYZ says :

    First of all, congrats on finishing your exams. Second, LOL … how could you post it before the match had been played? 😛

    Yes, Roger has the most unconverted MPs ever, but still I give credit to Monfils. He really played well, and much less crazy stunts than usual. Much less of him passing up high-percentage shots to go for a circus trick. I give Gael credit for finding the strength to stay with it while his own crowd basically cheered harder for Roger. Now, I don’t care; I want Roger to win, and it’s not Rog’s fault…. but I felt sorry for Gael. It was kind of disgraceful the way they cheered his doublefault. He was born in Paris. I wouldn’t be half-surprised if even Roger noticed it and felt a bit uncomfortable.

    It wasn’t Roger’s best day, but he still did well in this tournament and has had an awesome run since Wimbledon.

    P.s.: love the pics… the Polaroid frame is a cute touch (old enough to know what Polaroids are 😦 sigh… ), my ovaries are beating the snot out of me right now, thanks.

    • dootsiez says :

      Ohmigosh! I had an inkling when I was posting. I thought I was being silly.

      Yes Katarina, I give Monfils credit. I actually thought the French crowd was fairly behind him. Not as much as – say if Monfils had been playing any other opponent, but I think they’re just naturally rowdy and enjoy cheering against anyone, LOL.

      PS – Polaroids are for hip kids, didn’t cha know? 😉

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