Soderporn Sunday.

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I wanted Federer v Llodra, I got Soderling v Monfils.

In the grand scheme of things, I liked both finalists, so I’m not left projectile vomiting bile in the general direction of Paree.

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But really, you’re not even human if you can’t feel some degree of squidgeeeeee for a guy who – despite being portrayed so often as a jumbo-sized rodent by certain members of the tennis fandom – is really just a young man who talks the way his plays.

Uncomplicated. Unsubtle. Undaunted. Unapologetic. A bit like someone gutting a baby seal with a blunt knife … no I KID. I KID.

I do mean it when I say I’m tempted to poke my pinky into one of those dimples though.

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I was extremely nervous before this match … I didn’t sleep much at all (last) night. I really wanted to do well today and I’m happy with the way I started the match.

I’m in a strange sort of place with Soderpoopies. He inflicted two losses at Roland Garros in the past two years, both of which ended with me flailing like a gutted baby seal. I find his game unsightly at times. Stylistically, he’s no different to a ‘Tomas Berdych’, of which there are too many in this world. Theoretically speaking, this shouldn’t have been my cuppa.

And yet, there is also something incredibly compelling about Soderpoopies, as a player and as a person. On the surface, he’s aloof. He acts like he doesn’t give a fuck, and – as I alluded to earlier – he plays like it too. The wonder about the Soderpoops of this world is that they make simple what Federer sometimes complicates. And just as we need intricacies in tennis, we also need aggressive, bludgeoning, cracking tennis. The kind of catharsis that, on a good day, crystalises all else around you and the only liquidity is the movement on court.

Like I said, oddly compelling.

Soderling falls just on this other side of the diverse tennis spectrum. The kind of ‘unsightly’ that can be beautiful too; the type of ‘aloof’ that is passionate deep down; and sometimes, the quiet one can be surprisingly eloquent when handed a microphone on a big stage.

You can believe the crap I just wrote. Or you can maintain that I have a thing for men pretending to be Mr Badass while hiding dimples.

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No 4. Not sure how Federer or Nadal feels about this – I suspect they’d much rather have Murray at No 4 for the Aus Open. Extreme heat and wind aren’t exactly a winning combination for Swedes. But let’s not jinx ourselves.

Gael Monfils. Two Paris finals in consecutive years, semifinal, quarterfinals at Roland Garros. All this points to one thing:

In this silly, acrobatic, playful overgrown kid, there’s a serious patriot. If there was one outcome of actual significance in the broad scheme of things coming out of this week, it’s that a Serbian Davis Cup victory is no longer a matter of presumption. They still have the upper hand, but as far warning shots go, the Frenchies made some things loud and clear this week. Point taken.

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Congratulations Tommy Haas, who joined Wogie, Ljubes and the other daddies of the tour with the birth of his baby daughter. I don’t even need to see a photo to know that she’s a heartbreaking little beauty.

xx doots

P.S. As I screamed rather shrilly on Twitter: I GOT AUSSIE OPEN FINAL TICKETS. A prayer circle for Doots that Roger Fuckerer actually makes the final.

If he doesn’t, I’m diving into the Yarra in despair.

If he does and loses, I’m diving into the Yarra and TAKING HIM DOWN with me.

If he does and wins, I’m still diving into the Yarra. Naked.

P.P.S. I sat in front of a designer clad woman at Wimbledon this year, who haughtily turned around to her husband during Serena v Sharapova and said: “did you know Serena Williams once told an Asian woman she was going to kill her?” Suffice to say, I was outraged.

This article underscores so much of how I feel about Serena Williams and the way she is often portrayed by the tennis media and fandom. (Clickey)

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13 responses to “Soderporn Sunday.”

  1. Matt Zemek says :

    The draw, the draw, it’s all about the draw. That said, if you told me today Federer would be a finalist in Melbourne, I’d take it. It would mean that Djokovic would have taken a step backwards and that New York would be an aberration. (Djokovic wouldn’t beat Rafa in the semis, so if Fed’s in the final, there you go…)

    It would also mean that various other hot names and “it guys” and “up-and-comers” crashed and burned, thereby cementing Fed’s place in the top 2 for one more calendar year.

    I obviously want Fed to win every major, but as the unofficial protector of Federbears and the advocate for nonviolence except against tennis balls, here is my REASON-TEMPERED wish list for Fed at the majors in 2011 (no need to hide it or keep it a secret):

    1 major title, 2 major finals, all 4 major semis, and a meeting with Rafa in the US Open final as part of the package, win or lose. Give me that right NAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, and I’ll sign on the dotted line, Federbear tucked under my loving arms out of the reach of Doots’s knife and her angry emoticon.

    Outside the majors, who cares – just no stinkin’ injuries or an abundance of early crash-outs

    Let Roddick win his Wimbledon if Andy’s good enough to do it; let the chips fall where they may on that one.

    Sincerely,

    Moonpie Zemek

    • dootsiez says :

      ^ That was my “reason tempered” list at the start of this year (except I wanted him to keep the SF streak going for one more year).

      Then I went and did a deal with the devil that if Fed won the Aus Open final this year (for which I had tickets), I wouldn’t ask for another major.

      Well there you go. All my fault. Would do it again in a flash.

      FEDERBEAR MUST DIE!!! >:O Your efforts will fail on that front >:O >:O

  2. Codge says :

    I’ve been a big Soderling supporter since Wimby 07. Every man is equal, deference will NOT be paid. PLAY!

    Some fanbases go to far, but that what FANatics are, I don’t hold their irrational tendencies against them.

    The media however… shameful the way they slandered him in 07, and continued to do so until he basically, last year. The ” he’s not liked in the locker room” meme was all media generated.

    Only 1 player had anything negative to say about Soderling (at least publicly) that I can recall… Rafa. And that was expected given he felt insulted and .embarrased in 2007. Thankfully, Rafa moved on, ages ago.

    All Soderling has to do is keep winning against the field (and losing to Roger)😉

  3. Codge says :

    Somewhere in my comment a lonely ‘S’ is missing.

  4. Katarina_YYZ says :

    yeah, I find myself defending Soderling to those who say he’s rude and a one-dimensional player. Not so much a Robin supporter as defender, I guess. I’ve been called abrupt and blunt myself.😉

    Since you called this post “Soderporn” — I’m obliged to inform you that the letters “ROBIN SODERLING” can be perfectly rearranged to spell “Disrobing Loner”. So says the Internet Anagram Server.

  5. jfK says :

    I’m happy for Bobby Sod. If the winner couldn’t be Rog, I’m glad it was him. It’s just funny how his best results come in Paris!
    Congrats on getting tickets. I remember when you got tickets last yr. and you said if it was a Del Potro-Murray final you would poke your eyes out. Let’s hope you see a certain Swiss gentleman holding up the trophy again next year😀

    ps. I miss Federporn Friday😦 I really do.

  6. pban says :

    I like Sodercakes( especially on the other side of the draw),seriously I have always liked him since Wimby 2007….he was the first who had the guts to point out Rafa’s time wasting,took the flak for it and didn’t care. He is unapologetic but at least he doesn’t fistpump or jump in glee on opponent errors and DFs….an unpardonable offence in my books, which our current no.1 commits time and again.

  7. lapinroyal says :

    I also miss FedPorn Friday…

    PS: I trade needle for broken glass and it work on Seroid voodoo doll (it’s been yearssss that i’ve not type or pronounced her name! ):mrgreen:

  8. steve says :

    I’m a neutral regarding Soderling. I’ve never thought he was the villain he was made out to be by the media. That meme was planted by Nadal during his outburst in the post-match presser:

    RAFAEL NADAL: In the locker room, for the other players, is not the best guy in the locker room.

    http://www.asapsports.com/show_interview.php?id=44036

    The media simply took what Nadal said at face value and repeated it endlessly, as they so often do. Of course they ignored the fact that Nadal broke a huge taboo talking about what happens in the locker room…but I digress.

    Anyhow, I can’t really say I’m a Soderling fan. That bludgeon of a forehand is too ugly for me to enjoy, but he uses it effectively, and he’s shown a lot more mental strength in the last couple of years. And he seems gracious enough in interviews, despite his supposedly taciturn personality. Good for him on finally winning in Paris.

  9. sue.w says :

    Add me to the *happy for Sod* brigade !! Also think that he’s nowhere near as bad as portrayed by the medai and agree with the reason he was in the 1st place. A certain *Humble Spaniard* started that one off and the media….well I could write a book about them but wont…….Pffffffft! . So well done Sodders !!

    Now to the most important thing in the universe !! When is FedPorn Friday coming back???? Please, pretty please!!!

    • Maria says :

      I agree with all of the above!! ^^ I have a secret crush on Robin! You are right. It must be the dimples. They are irresistible… sigh…

      On another note, your PS made my day!😀

      • jandemom says :

        It’s definitely the dimples! They are perfect & irresistible🙂

        Congratulations to Robin for winning; would rather it had been Roger, but I can’t help being happy for someone who was so happy to win his first “big” title. Plus, those dimples!!

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