Okay. I’ll be slapping Federbear out of his vacation trance now.
My oh my! The offseason has filled the cockles of my calcified heart with zen. As I watched Sir Wogie Shankalot give away two tiebreaks yesterday, I was overwhelmed by the entirely foreign sensation of not wanting to stab him with a pencil. Have I lost touch with my inner bitch?
The truth is, he does look rather like a banana milkshake in his shiny Aussie Open gear. And you know it brings all the girls to the yard and they’re like – it’s better yours …
It is time, my lovelies, to get my Bully-Face back on, wake Federbear up from his NYE hangover and give him a good shellacking. To go through an entire tournament holding 100% of service games and losing 100% of tiebreaks played: that, my DAAHLING idiot Wogie, shows the remarkable lack of bwains.
But it was a solid match between Federer and Nadal in Abu Dhabi, with not a lot separating those two until either tiebreaks. Federer had an early set point on second serve, and two minibreaks at the start of the first set, before promptly donating those rewards to the Fundacion Rafael Nadal. Will someone please inform Mister Wogie that charity season is so 2010?
But while no one likes losing, especially on the first day of the year, look on the bright side: the Abu Dhabi Cashcow Invitational has a 100% success rate of NOT producing the Australian Open champion.
Enough of the Middle East. Tennis arrives down undaaaa! Watch this space.