Okay. I’ll be slapping Federbear out of his vacation trance now.

My oh my! The offseason has filled the cockles of my calcified heart with zen. As I watched Sir Wogie Shankalot give away two tiebreaks yesterday, I was overwhelmed by the entirely foreign sensation of not wanting to stab him with a pencil. Have I lost touch with my inner bitch?

The truth is, he does look rather like a banana milkshake in his shiny Aussie Open gear. And you know it brings all the girls to the yard and they’re like – it’s better yours …

It is time, my lovelies, to get my Bully-Face back on, wake Federbear up from his NYE hangover and give him a good shellacking. To go through an entire tournament holding 100% of service games and losing 100% of tiebreaks played: that, my DAAHLING idiot Wogie, shows the remarkable lack of bwains.

But it was a solid match between Federer and Nadal in Abu Dhabi, with not a lot separating those two until either tiebreaks. Federer had an early set point on second serve, and two minibreaks at the start of the first set, before promptly donating those rewards to the Fundacion Rafael Nadal. Will someone please inform Mister Wogie that charity season is so 2010?

But while no one likes losing, especially on the first day of the year, look on the bright side: the Abu Dhabi Cashcow Invitational has a 100% success rate of NOT producing the Australian Open champion.

Enough of the Middle East. Tennis arrives down undaaaa! Watch this space.

xx doots

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11 responses to “Okay. I’ll be slapping Federbear out of his vacation trance now.”

  1. Lady B Good. says :

    OH! Doots! Dont beat yourself up about Roger, we love him no matter what? I’m not placing too
    much significance on the result in Abu Dhabi, he was wearing his watch, something he NEVER
    does during an ATP match.
    Still a loss is a loss in any language, dont like the YELLOW, as yellow is a colour that is associated
    with cowardice?
    Roger looked far more menacing in his all black outfits! Hope this is only a temporary blip, and normal
    service will be resumed ASAP! Happy new Year to you Doots!
    Sorry US English retained the ASHES! Whoops!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Lady B Good. says :

    OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! That smarts Doots, i’m a bad girl, LADY B BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!

  3. Pratha says :

    LOL Dootsie!
    You’re making me smile talking about Abu Dhabi’s success rate at producing AO Champions! 😉
    A loss to Nadal is always gonna hurt,even if only a little,even if its ONLY an exho!But,Its been so long since I saw Roger in PROPER action,I don’t mind it at all…..Oh boy,this man will be the reason for my death,mark my words – I mean,DOES HE HAVE TO LOOK SOOOO ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS EVEN IN PINK AND BANANA YELLOW????

  4. natalia says :

    What’s the banned subject again??? – ok, scratch that, I was meaning Happy New Year, Dootsiez! Be healthy and sharp 😉 – the opposite of that AbuDabaDuba tournie, which was kinda unhealthy and dull, and damn booooring….

  5. jandemom says :

    Thanks for a good laugh to start the tennis year, doots! While it was just another exo, it would have been nice if Rog played better in the tiebreaks. But he looks plenty happy in the photo – and let’s hope the Abu Dhabi success rate continues (nothing against Rafa, I just want Roger to win) 🙂

    When does the frazzling officially begin?

  6. xta says :

    you say banana, i say baby chick…
    just adorable…

  7. dari says :

    WELCOME TO 2011!
    And thank you, doots, for another wonderful year of coverage. You stirred up our emotions often this year; were there when we were pissed off and sad to either calm us down, or rile us up and let us know it was okay to be pissed off and sad! i look forward to many happy moments in 2011!
    yellow came off really cute, youthful, love it. now go kick ass, baby chick!

  8. Freudo says :

    Doot’s love your banana milkshake! I was less serene than thee, especially on the points where Roger hit one, two, three, or four winners, and Rafa got them all back and then won the point himself! I’m hoping Roger was a bit tired from Soderling and/or had that cold as reported, because he needed to get another one back in play and hit a winner. Of course, for my buck, it would be better not to get into so many of those rallies with Rafa, who is just too good at that!.

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