Where troubles melt like lemon-drops …
1. Sing it with me yo:
“Where trouble melt like lemon-drops, high above the chim-chim-chim-ma-ney tops that’s where … you’ll … fiiiiiind me …”
OH, OH! OH MAH GAH! What is that blinding, glorious light coming from Centre Court in Dubai? Oh never mind, it’s just LEMON-DROP WOGIE.
Lemon-Drop Wogie had his predator face on, which was simply magnanimous. Who can blame Somdev Millionaire for falling victim to it?
2. It was an uneventful day in tennis that saw two of the top players in men’s tennis return for the first time after the Australian Open with easy straight set wins. Both Djoko and Wogie won 63 63 against their opponents (Llodra and Millionaire respectively).
While I didn’t see Wogie’s match against the Millionaire, I did catch the match between Llodra and the Djoker, who – as you would expect – looked like he just drank a highly pungent dose of confidence.
Oh, and he did that thing where he makes his limb stick out of his torso in positions that MAKE NO LOGICAL SENSE TO MY EYEBALLS.
3. Over in Acapulco, Verdasco continued to fall victim to Fake Tennis, losing to Nose Job Bellucci in 3 sets. Seems like if you wanted a token top 10 win on the ATP these days, ‘Dasco is your man.
And speaking of Spaniards: who died and made Almagro the Nadal of second tier clay? Almug heads into the second round at Acapulco undefeated in his previous 2 tournaments. Ferrer wants his clay machine back, yo.
4. In the sad news of the day, Super Mario addicts mourn over the retirement of “got mono? Get law degree!” Ancic at the age of 26. I have no idea how Ancic managed to do an entire law degree while playing tennis on and off. RESPECT, dude!)
While 26 is still young in tennis years, Ancic’s decision came after years of being kept away from the game by a groceries list of injuries and intense smooching with mono-carriers. The frustration of it all finally wore him down.
“I can’t stand it any more, I have finished my career. I’m forced to quit because nature has decided it’s time. My back can’t withstand the effort of professional tennis.”
Mario will of course be remembered for reaching the semifinal of Wimbledon in 2004, and a career high of 7 in the world in 2006, shortly before his body found various ways of rebelling against him.
But contemplate this for a second: but for the existence of Roger Federer, Mario Ancic would have a Wimbledon runner up cookie tray sitting at home. Or possibly the winner’s trophy. That’s something.
And I will leave you to work out which year.