Indian Wells: You are the Campfire to My Hot Hands. Truly.
A night session featuring BOTH Nadal and Federer seems like some kind of too-good-to-be-true deal. Clearly, this had to be the reason for the randomly shaky, mirroring straight set victories both Rafa and Wogie managed against their spirited low-ranked opponents today. But “spirited” as Ryan Harrison and Somdev Devvarman may have been, it was the experience of Wogie and Raf that saw them both claw through the match in straight sets despite some visibly subpar play.
Nadal had to contend with being down an early break in the first set, and saving break points in the 11th game before gutting it out against Millionaire 75 64, while Wogie served for the first set, NOT just once, but TWICE, and was broken by Man-Bangs each time, committing a total of 19 unforced errors in the first set alone.
What. The. ACTUAL FUCK. Dude.
If I could set things ON FIRE with sheer mental rage, Federbear would be a pile of ashes on my Wogie-shrine right now.
In other news, oh spank me, Nole. Spank me UH-GAIN. I lurve it. Oh Nole … (Yup. Starts with M, rhymes with “opinion”.)
Satan faces Reeshie next round, with Gasquet scoring two consecutive, straights-sets top 10 victories over ARod and Melzer.
It’s been a good week for the single handed backhanders, as My-Friend-Stanley slugged his way through the draw against quality opponents Davo and Berdshit. He’ll have a tougher time next round, with his doubles partner Roger Federer waiting. You might’ve heard of him before, ya know … decent player, great hair.
I have a lot of conflicting feelings about Fedrunka meetings – on the one hand, I’d love nothing more than to see Stan rise to the challenge and walk out of Federer’s shadows, on the other, I want Wogie to ROCK THE COURT (and myself to ROCK WOGIE … where was I?). Oh yes. Unfortunately, as my Nana once told me, you can’t have your dim sums and eat them too.
Either Wogie accidentally splinched himself apparating from one end of the court to the other, or the Indian Wells sports photographers think it’s all a bit hip and happenin’.
On the topic of Fedrunka, how is it possible that they’ve played two matches together and Stanley hasn’t pretended he was the campfire to Wogie’s hot hands yet? I DEMAND A REPEAT OF THE CAMPFIRE ROUTINE NAOOO!
That is ALL.
Happy Slytherin Day to all you Irish (or otherwise) folks.