Indian Wells: You are the Campfire to My Hot Hands. Truly.

A night session featuring BOTH Nadal and Federer seems like some kind of too-good-to-be-true deal. Clearly, this had to be the reason for the randomly shaky, mirroring straight set victories both Rafa and Wogie managed against their spirited low-ranked opponents today. But “spirited” as Ryan Harrison and Somdev Devvarman may have been, it was the experience of Wogie and Raf that saw them both claw through the match in straight sets despite some visibly subpar play.

Nadal had to contend with being down an early break in the first set, and saving break points in the 11th game before gutting it out against Millionaire 75 64, while Wogie served for the first set, NOT just once, but TWICE, and was broken by Man-Bangs each time, committing a total of 19 unforced errors in the first set alone.

What. The. ACTUAL FUCK. Dude.

If I could set things ON FIRE with sheer mental rage, Federbear would be a pile of ashes on my Wogie-shrine right now.


In other news, oh spank me, Nole. Spank me UH-GAIN. I lurve it. Oh Nole … (Yup. Starts with M, rhymes with “opinion”.)


Satan faces Reeshie next round, with Gasquet scoring two consecutive, straights-sets top 10 victories over ARod and Melzer.



It’s been a good week for the single handed backhanders, as My-Friend-Stanley slugged his way through the draw against quality opponents Davo and Berdshit. He’ll have a tougher time next round, with his doubles partner Roger Federer waiting. You might’ve heard of him before, ya know … decent player, great hair.

I have a lot of conflicting feelings about Fedrunka meetings – on the one hand, I’d love nothing more than to see Stan rise to the challenge and walk out of Federer’s shadows, on the other, I want Wogie to ROCK THE COURT (and myself to ROCK WOGIE … where was I?). Oh yes. Unfortunately, as my Nana once told me, you can’t have your dim sums and eat them too.

Either Wogie accidentally splinched himself apparating from one end of the court to the other, or the Indian Wells sports photographers think it’s all a bit hip and happenin’.


On the topic of Fedrunka, how is it possible that they’ve played two matches together and Stanley hasn’t pretended he was the campfire to Wogie’s hot hands yet? I DEMAND A REPEAT OF THE CAMPFIRE ROUTINE NAOOO!

That is ALL.

Happy Slytherin Day to all you Irish (or otherwise) folks.

xx doots

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16 responses to “Indian Wells: You are the Campfire to My Hot Hands. Truly.”

  1. FortuneCookie says :

    You’re thinking Bieber?!
    I’m thinking more “Californiaaa, californiaaaaa here we commmmmeeeeee!” HE’S CALLED RYAN AND THEY’RE PLAYING IN CALI.COME ON. 😛

    • FortuneCookie says :

      Also I forgot,the “I’ll be the nurse and you be the wounded soldier” celebration needs to be seen again,and then afterwards,STAN GETS ROGER TO JOIN TWITTER. (that definitely required caps lock)

  2. pban says :

    if roger joins twitter just imagine the rants doots and her cofedbitches are going to send him….i can’t wait to start

  3. marcoiac says :

    I like the choice of the word, mirroring. 🙂 Nole’s scores, on the other hand, I DON’T like. Dude is on a mission, seems unstoppable. Wawrinka and Gasquet are playing really well too this week, their BH is just a beauty to watch. And Delpo keeps winning. It’ll be interesting. What I don’t understand is why they scheduled all those singles matches yesterday in the men’s draw, and today they scheduled only two. Where is the logic? I don’t get it.

    • pika says :

      I’m guessing the weird scheduling is due to the singles players who are completely annihilating the “legit doubles teams.” I’m also guessing because of that, the singles players might be requesting to be playing on alternating days?? Er… hope that made sense.

      What’s the point of a campfire routine if they’re not even airing the doubles matches??!! 😡 If the Rafa-Lopez vs Federinka happen, they better be showing it!!

      Djoko is freaking me out. Gasquet… I’m gonna reign in my judgement ’til I see what he does against Novak!

  4. roadrunnerz says :

    OK, is it just me or has Stan had the toughest draw out of anyone at IW?

    He gets Davydenko, Cilic and Berdych in the first three rounds, and as a thank you for surviving them he gets…FED?

    I cannot help but root for him just a little. :-/

    It’s kinda funny how like, Novak and Troiki yesterday, Stan and Fed will play each other and then doubles together on the same day. Weirdness.

    Watched both the Rafa and the Fed matches last night (first chance to see some whole matches in this tourney!! IW is making me kinda bitter ’cause I was THERE only two weeks ago, when all I saw were empty courts and stands, lol) and judging from their play, I’m thinking this whole thing is Novak’s to lose. Guy’s on fire right now and Rafa and Fed are…not. 😦

  5. Alex says :

    Was it true that Fed was clutching his back in pain?

    • sharon says :

      NO… Roger didn’t his back or anywhere else for that matter even once during the match. Hope Mirka sent him to bed without any supper after that match! Roger definately didn’t get any…err *dessert* when he got home last night!

  6. jfk says :

    now I’m going to have Bieber in my head all day 😛
    but really Fed just looked too relaxed in his match and yeah Stan def. has had the hardest draw:(
    Hope Fedrinka wins tonight

  7. dari says :

    Aww, just got the “My-Friend-Stanley” reference

  8. girl_from_mi says :

    Tennis Channel, here in the states, will be televising the Fed/Stan/Raf/Marc doulbes match tonight.

  9. A_Gallivant says :

    I too was hoping for some campfire action. Guess I have to settle for the constant touching that Neil Harman hates!

  10. gamegrrle says :

    HI ALL!


    OH MY GOD! It was sooooooooooo much fun, but I am EXHAUSTED! I was actually at that double-header match of Nadal and Fderer and even though they both played kinda crappy it actually worked out for my friend and I.because at least it extended the matches. We were afraid that they were going to be blow outs and that we would get less than an hour of each of them on the court. But we got about a total of 4 hours of match time so we were happy…although Feddy almost gave me a heart attack in the first set and even though a tiny (very tiny) part of me selfishly wanted it to go to three sets so I could extend my time with him, I thought., I will sacrifice my court time with Fed if he can just win this tiebreak and close it out in 2.

    i had just seen Federer the day before for the FIRST TIME EVER…IN THE BEST SEATS EVER… 2ND ROW BOX SEATS … RIGHT BEHIND HIS CHAIR (story to follow)… and because it was a blow out I was just a wee bit disappointed (as if I really could be if it involves seeing him) that it was less than 1 hour of play.

    Also, I have to say that because it was my first time seeing him and we we sitting SOOOOOOOOO CLOSE and it was like 90 degrees and we were directly in the hot sun (we were NOT sitting on the shady side), and that it went by so fast, it felt so surreal. It was if I was watching some mythical creature, like a unicorn. And although it was amazing to be so close to him, I have to say seats on the court right behind the chairs isn’t necessarily the best position to watch the match.

    The following day we had AMAZING seats on the southside RIGHT BEHIND the AD COURT, 6 ROWS BACK (Camera side) and the view was sublime! It was like watching it on tv, only in super HDTV 3-D!!!!

    Anyway, back to my 2nd ROW COURTSIDE BOX SEAT STORY… I ALMOST CAUGHT HIS HEADBAND!!!!!!!! I swear…ON MY FEDDYBEAR!! After the match, I was frantically waving Feddybear and calling out his name and I screamed “I drove out 5 hours this morning just to see you and I have to drive 5 hours back tonight” (only a slight exaggeration). He looked right at me and started to throw it to me … HONESTLY!!!… but since it’s circular, at the very last minute it caught on his ring finger and that changed the trajectory of the throw and it landed to the left and slightly in front of me…the guy in the first row leaned back and over and caught it!!! 😦 and then gave it to his girlfriend…After some coaxing, she let me touch it…it was completely soaked through with Feddy”s sweat!! Is it wrong that I loved wanted to hold it to my face?!?! If we hadn’t been boxed in by people on both sides, I was tempted to make a mad dash for the stairs!!

    Anyway, I have tons of photos and even video that I would love to share but I am a bit of a computertard and kinda lazy, but DOOTS, if you talk me through it, I would be happy to try!! I also saw the Nadal Lopez match from the day before the double header…our seats were amazing for that also because I had a bum knee and it;s in a brace and an incredibly kind usher let us sit in the front row of the SUITE SEATS of some people who had inexplicably left early!!

    ANYWAY, for all those of you who are contemplating going to INDIAN WELLS …DON”T!

    JUST BOOK YOUR TICKETS FOR NEXT YEAR NOW!! It’s the most amazing experience. The venue is small, the courts are so accessible, the schedule is packed, the atmosphere is at once relaxed yet bustling with energy. The whole thing is so intimate and manageable. There isn’t a bad seat in the house in the main stadium and certainly not in the smaller courts. They even post the practice times of all the players on a special display screen. There is a beer garden, a bar, pro shops, sample vendors, a huge superscreen outside where you can sit and watch the matches…I’m sure I’m leaving out details, but I’m still overwhelmed…

    More later, I’m still downloading pics and video and trying to re-live the whole thing!


    • dootsiez says :

      Woaaaaah! Amazeballs. I’m so jealous. Wish I could go next year, but I’ll most likely to be starting a grad job at that stage.

      I still remember the first time I saw Wogie play live, for me, it was like watching a “mystical” creature too. I spend so much time writing about him that he feels a bit like one of my fictional characters.

      Pop me an email dear. Would love some photos 🙂

  11. breadstix says :

    Catching only patchy glimpses of the action at Indian Wells – not ideal. I remember catching bits of the end of the dubs finals, very gutting. 😦 Still – back home now and free from essay crises – bring on Miami! ❤

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