News you can’t use: Shoulder Blades of Glory.


1. Say what you want about these collarless crews Nike has dished up for Fed since Miami – sure, they’re drab, unimpressive and generally forgettable. But they do have one advantage over Federer’s usual array of shirts: they highlight his wide, suit-wearing SHOULDER BLADES OF GLORY rather nicely. (And the V-neck highlights his moobs, but that’s a whole other conversation we can have privately, ya know?)

FedererMC2

FedererMC1

FedererMC4

It was a fairly routine win over Kohlismyrubber, as Wogie sashayed his way past his practice partner in 50 minutes with minimal effort. Say WHUT? A clay court match that doesn’t slug on into temporal infinity like a tennistical rendition of Wagner’s Ring Cycle? Surely, Federer must be doing it ALL WRONG.

As Roger quite accurately assessed himself, we’ve seen Kohlschreiber play better, but with stats like 21 winners to 9 unforced errors, there’s nothing for me to complain about aside from the lack of a bonus shirt change. Oh well, can’t have your Federcakes and eat him too.

Federer plays Marin Cilic next (H2H 1-0) after Cilic’s opponent Riba retired.

Elsewhere, there’s nothing like the feel of terre battue underneath a downtrodden Spaniard’s feet. Daveed Ferrer spared no friendly shots for Feli, taking out the Hardened Abs of the ATP 62 60. Also a good day for la République as Gasquet channelled some red dirty mojo to defeat Garcia Lopez 62 61 and Monfools passed FabFog 75 62.

2. In other news you can’t use, I recommend sunglasses and SPF 30+ before you lay your eyes on PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE of Serena Williams, back on a tennis court after her foot injury, surgery … blood clot, pulmonary embolism, hematoma … bird flu, anthrax, Sars, a common cough and cold … oh WAIT

Wrong player.

SerenaBackOnCourt

Seriously though, welcome back to a tennis court Serena. You’ve been missed. And I can’t think of a more appropriate way to remind us all of your larger than life presence/absence in tennis than by wearing a giantpink. condom.

Hang on, did I say “seriously“?

Why would you believe me?

3. Kim Clijsters in doubt for the French Open. All hail the health of the women’s tour. In all senses of the word “health”. At least the Danes are excited.

That’s all, bitchezzz.

xx doots

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5 responses to “News you can’t use: Shoulder Blades of Glory.”

  1. pika says :

    I haven’t seen Woz play in RG… so I can’t say for sure if she’d win it, but things are surely looking in her favor. She is a good mover, and I would guess that aspect of her game would translate well on the red dirt… Although I really want Svetlana to win RG. Or Franny to defend the title… pretty please?? Maybe(and this is a huge-tastic maybe) even Sammy can get her act together? Probably me hoping for too much once again…. GAHH so happy Serena is back on the tennis court!

    I really like the blue on Wogie!

  2. Alex says :

    Not moobs, but MAN-chest. Big diff.

  3. Lady B Good. says :

    I Love the blue crew look elegant and classy like the man himself! Those shoulders holy moly! Let me know
    Rog, when you want a shoulder and back rub! Hands up who else would like that job!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. dari says :

    Yeah, nice moobs.

  5. lapinroyal says :

    giant. pink. condom.
    Alert… please page 911 to JujuBear… Emergency call… :mrgreen:

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