Frazzle Post: Madrid Open

Men’s draw preview
  1. Rafa’s quarter: lots of people not named Rafael Nadal.
  2. Adorkable’s quarter: I’m sorry. Whut? WHUT?! WHUWHUWHUT?! Excuse me while I give Federbear a good kick where the sun don’t shine because WHAT KINDUVA FRACKITY FRACK FRACK DRAW IS THIS?! Provided that he gets past Raonic/Lopez FIRST MATCH, then a mildly rejuvenated Fernando Hair Fiasco second, our Darling Wodge will face the prospect of playing Almug, Jo-Willy or Zod. And should he battle vigorously into the semi, the Clay Monster himself awaits. Curse you tennis gods! I wish you a million constipated nights.
  3. Toothface’s quarter: Berdy and Toothface bookend this quarter like Crabbe and Goyle, but in between them, Monfils plays the fools, Dayvo brings the humour, Gillou has eyes like Icelandic lagoons, and Bellucci has the Golden Gate Bridge for a nose. Colour me interested.
  4. Satan’s quarter: Satan made a good choice pulling out of Monte Carlo. Not only did he extend his winning streak by an extra tournament at the very least (let’s face it – he ain’t gonna lose the Mama Djokovic Open), but he also gave himself a break to recover from winner’s fatigue and avoid facing the clay monster a week out from Miami. While Rafa may be seemingly back to normal programming this year, you get this feeling that Satan and Lord Farquaad are just ready to battle it out for the title of the Second Best Clay Courter of 2011. I’m not sure that Djoko will give Nadal a run for his kneecaps though. The clay season never turns out to be as intriguing as we want it to be. Satan and Farquaad aside, this quarter boasts a sea of minions, also known as Chela, My-Friend-Stanley, JCF, Ernie Gulbiscuit.

Full draw here

Ladies’ draw preview

  1. Woz’s quarter: who thinks Stosur is going to get past Dulko? I have an ominous feeling that no amount of “oi oi ois” can save her from Dulko’s giant slaying voodoo. Potential upset aside, Hamster, Julia the Gorgeous and Dinara keep it relevant, but I don’t expect anyone other than Woz to come through.
  2. Vika’s quarter: Dushevina first round probably wasn’t the draw Vika wanted, but she could’ve done worse with the other choices in her quarter – Flavs, Petko, A-Rad, Kiri and the newly single Jarka Gajdosova, not to mention the inimitable Lady Jaja.
  3. Franny’s quarter: my three lady crushes – Franny, Li Na, and MJMS – all crammed into a teenyweeny quarter. WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS ABOMINATION OF A DRAW, TENNIS GODS?! But Einstein once concluded for all mankind – for every awesome, there is an equal and opposite blah: Benesova, Petrova and Fistpumpovic are the other notable players in this quarter.
  4. Vera’s quarter: talking about awesome, I LOVE THIS QUARTER SO MUCH I want to propose to it in Kenya and kiss it TWICE on a balcony. Why, you ask? As if you needed reasons for TRUE LOVE. But just in case you did: Sharpie, Cilbulkova,Khooooze, Makarova, Wicky and Nutty Patty, Kvitova and Vera Zvoom Zvoom. Need I say more?

Tags: , , , , , , ,

12 responses to “Frazzle Post: Madrid Open”

  1. annalisa says :

    men’s draw makes me sick.. let’s just FF to july and get it over with!! *hates clay court season*

  2. Natalia says :


  3. Pratha says :

    There’s only one man’s draw here that I really care about,and HE got the worst draw!!Draw Gods,you should indeed stop being so unfair with my adorable dork!

  4. Joan Moore says :

    The biggest hurdle might be the Canadian “wonder boy”, Milos if he gets past Lopez. I think anytime you haven’t played someone before, it can be a bit tricky. I know Roger will have to play him at some point, but just not in this important tournament, with a lot of ranking points to defend. Of course Soderling is there in his quarter, but Robin’s game seems to be a bit “off” these days, so maybe he will crash out in an early round. I agree it looks like a tough draw, but all 4 of the top guys have someone in their quarter who could be a problem. At least there is no Del Potro or Karlovic in Fed’s quarter. Can we assume that Roger will play his first match on Tuesday? I am anxious for the tournament to get underway, but as always a little anxious.

  5. Marie says :

    Maybe Delpo will take out Rafi. Can only hope. Raonic just retired in Estoril so who knows what condition he’ll be in when he gets to Madrid. And Wogie’s beaten Lopez all 7 times they’ve met (albeit none of those on clay). Some of those other guys in Wogie’s quarter (R-Sod, Jo-Willy) aren’t playing their best right now. Although the Dog (Dolgo) could be trouble. Let’s face it, if Wogie’s on form, he’ll make it to the SF where he faces the clay-monster yet again (unless he’s usurped by Delpo). That’s my take. But once again Satan will cruise to the Final:(((

    • Joan Moore says :

      The Dog just lost in straight sets to Giraldo…he has got to be one of the most inconsistent players on tour. All things considered, this is a good result for Rooger

  6. jfK says :

    Best of Luck to Roger and Maria.

  7. pika says :

    One. Match. At. A. Time.

    I’m so used to Roger getting shitty draws, that now what matters to me is how he gets through them. Will he get through them?? Oh, Roger. PLEASE defend your points here! I’ll still love the guy if he crashes out early. lol.

    Thanks for the post, Doots!

  8. pban says :

    the only way i can accept this shot from tennis gods of they spare Feddy from their shenanigans in the slamsi

  9. pban says :

    I meant shit…in case you all didn’t get the drift,couldn’t agree more with annalisa please can it be 2nd wk of june already

  10. flo says :

    come on, no need to complain about draws. play well and get through or struggle and bow out. and with that said, Roanic/Federer would be much more interesting than Lopez/Federer.

  11. Katarina_YYZ says :

    Oh come on, please at least let us delude ourselves that Del Potro can challenge Nadal (and also Sod, if he gets past Roger). Something about this draw looks totally loaded to me, as though there are no weak opponents. I guess this is because there have been a lot of upsets and players surging lately (K. Anderson, Andujar, Raonic, Mayer) and a lot of formerly solid players looking shaky at times this year (Alamgro and Wawrinka — out already — Soderling, Tsonga, Murray, etc).

    by the way, who is Lord Farquaad?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: