Vidspam: You’re like the coolest thing since Banana Paddlepops.
I meant to post this earlier last week – does anyone know what’s up with this video? Seems like another prank pulled – not by Wodge – but by one of his sponsors (possibly Wilson?), hoping that it might go viral like the Gillette video.
Unfortunately, Dorky McFudd is such a hilariously bad actor that it doesn’t quite have the same flow as the Gillette video. But you know what? I’m willing to let that go, 1) because he’s so full of unadulterated coolibeans, and 2) because the part at 0:58 where he gives a snooty little “ookay good try, I guess” was PURE GOLD.
Oh boy. I would not want to be coached by him. EVUH.
Talkin’ about coolness, now that planking is all the rage, let it be known that Wogie and his Credit Swiss pals set the trend early.
I present to you, WOGER PLANKERER:
Still on the topic of Federer, check out this beautiful Q&A with Federer on Basler Zeitung, where Roger answered a series of set questions for a sports feature in his native lingo (Google Translated).
Roger Federer, what is your second passion next to the sport?
The family, for sure. I am a family man, with my parents, with Mirka’s parents, with my children. And my friends are extremely important to me.
What would you become if not a professional athlete?
Footballer would’ve been my first answer, but that doesn’t count. The last years of my schooling were focused very much on tennis, I don’t see myself working with numbers – although that’s something that I’m more interested in now. I probably left the school too early to know what I would’ve otherwise wanted to do. At 12 or 14, I still didn’t know, I think I would have found out when I got to 16, 18 or 20. And for those years, I unfortunately missed out a bit in this respect.
What have you learned in sports that you can’t learn in life?
Dealing with extreme pressure. Getting to know the different cultures and people. How to control yourself, how to control your emotions. I never would have managed to do this if I hadn’t become a tennis player, so this was a great advantage. And I have made many friends through sport, but I would have also made friends otherwise.
What was the last luxury you bought?
I went shopping in the U.S – clothes. That was the last thing.
When did you last visit a sporting event as a spectator?
Two NBA games, the LA Lakers, when I was in Beverly Hills, and the Miami Heat in Florida. Both games I saw from the Floor (sideline), which was very special.
What’s your favourite place?
Obviously Switzerland. Even though I sometimes spend my vacation elsewhere so I can get away from everything and go to the beach and where the weather is more likely to be better.
What does Switzerland mean to you?
Home. I love it the most here, I feel great here, Switzerland means a lot to me. My family and relatives and most friends live here. I want to grow old here and I also want my children go to school here.
What would you change as King of Switzerland?
(Laughs) This reminds me – in Miami I was told that according to a survey, Swiss people would vote for me as the king. I said, I’m not a king, I would first have to get a bit older [dude, you’re like already ancient] and have a few gray hairs. I think there are as many things we like about Switzerland as those we don’t like. It’s part of Switzerland that you can’t like everything, and you don’t point out the negative stuff all the time either. I like it when everyone is treated equally. In Miami, Dubai or anywhere else can I book a table at a restaurant at half past eight because they always reserve a table for celebrities. That doesn’t work in Switzerland. If it is full, it is full. That’s the way it is in Switzerland and that’s good.
How often do you go to the hairdresser and how much it cost?
Right now, it’s necessary again, but sometimes I don’t have the time, sometimes it’s a pleasure. I try to go every month and a half. Sometimes it costs more, sometimes surprisingly less. And sometimes I’ll even be invited.
Which dish did you last cook?
I can’t cook. This is something I’d like to learn when I finished my career. I’ve always been lucky: Mirka is a good cook, her parents cook well, my parents and my foster family in Ecublens back then cooked well for me. And otherwise I mostly ate at restaurants. Back when I was living with Yves (Allegro) or Michael (Lammer) and Sven (Swinnen) in an apartment, we made it as best as we could, but I can’t remember when I last cooked which is a little sad. It’s pretty bad that I don’t cook.
What do you believe in?
Many things. A little religion is as good as it gets.
What smell do you like?
My baby. And perfume. [OH MY GAWD MY OVARY JUST ERUPTED INTO FIREWORKS]
What personality do you find fascinating?
(Laughs) I’m an athlete, so it’s easy for me to meet other athletes and get along with them. At the same time, I must say that I have opened my horizons a lot more than others. It could be a painter, or the leader of a country. Nelson Mandela and Muhammad Ali, I’d like to meet, and Michael Jordan. Generally, I enjoy meeting regular people. It doesn’t always have to be someone famous. I’m happy it’s someone normal too.
What can’t you stand?
All things evil. And there’s enough of it in this world. Unfortunately, our media – I don’t wanna say it – but it’s addicted to it [tragedies]. On TV, it’s usually reports of tragedy, so I’m always happy to see something more relaxed, like Kate and Wills’ wedding. That was good. [Oh Wogie…]
What do you still have to do in your life, and to see or experience?
Hopefully, for me there’ll be a great life after tennis. Not that I’m ready to finish now. But I’m not 23, I’m going to be 30 soon, so you’re already trying to think about the future. I’d like to have some quiet time, lead a normal life in Switzerland. But I’ll probably miss the travelling again and do it again. I want to go to places I haven’t been, or go back to places I’ve already been but didn’t get to really visit because of all the stress. And most of all I would like to spend time with my parents and my family and do things together.
Hmm, let’s see: the guy loves his family, likes it when he’s treated like anyone else in a restaurant, wants to learn how to cook when he retires, travel the world, spend time with his twin mangoes, live a normal life.
Geez Woger, stop being such a massive old douchebag, eh?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Wogie McFed lives the most charmed life of famous personality I’ve ever seen.
P.S. By the way, Olderer is in Paris already, training ahead of the French Open. Roland Garros obliged its Twitter followers with a video, which I have no idea how to embed. So clickey here, yo!