Tag Archive | David Ferrer

Australian Open 2014: Frazzle Post

I start with the men’s draw on the premise that we are headed for a Rafole final in Melbourne in two weeks unless someone stops them. But who might actually be capable of tripping the current Big Two?

Murray? Even the most die-hard fans of British tennis would have to concede that Toothface is nowhere near match-fit and ready to win the Aus Open.

Del Poopy? Surely, he is long overdue for a slam win over Rafa.

Wawrinka? There may be some level of cosmic balance overdue to My Friend Stanley after his five set loss to Djoko in Melbourne last year, but given Stanley’s draw, I doubt it.

Here’s a closer look at the men’s draw.

Read More…


Wimbledon Day 9: The Winning Logic.

It’s a shame that she stumbled over Virginie Razzano in Paris, because we missed that process in every grand slam tournaments where Serena Williams gradually plays herself into form and self-confidence. She might’ve been messy, disengaged, and left fumbling for her game in the early rounds, but as many champions do, Serena has this ability to rise to the occasion as the tournament enters the quarterfinal and semifinal stage.

Coming into the match, Kvitova was the logical favourite. Despite her mediocre performance in 2012 so far, Petra has sailed through the Wimbledon draw looking fit, focussed and sharp. Serena, on the other hand, was coming off her worst ever grand slam result at Roland Garros, struggled in the early rounds against Zheng Jie and Shvedova. Read More…

RG2011 Day 6 (by PJ): Spectacular, Spectacular

You know that Roger Federer is playing his own special brand of Jesus!Fed tennis when a non-tennis watcher – one who has constantly and continually mocked me for my obsession with yellow fuzzy balls and Federer’s non fuzzy nor frizzy chocolate brown curls – proclaimed that she would join me on my future tennis outings for a chance to stalk his pants.

To summarise my own thoughts about the match: ROGER FEDERER, I AM ETERNALLY INSTALLED IN YOUR PANTS.

My earlier frazzling/worrying about the match proved to be in vain as Rog came out firing from point one – ripping beautiful backhands, fantastic forehands and put on a show of spectacular serving. When he is in this sort of mood, the person across the net could pretty much do nothing but try to survive the walloping, which was what happened to Janko Tipsarevic.

The first set was over in less than 20 minutes, as Tipsarevic was broken twice due to his own errors and Federer’s genius. In the next two sets, Tipsarevic tried his best to keep up, even managing to earn himself a break point when Roger developed an obsession with failed drop-shots but TMF pretty much just served himself out of trouble. He secured one break in the second set, and broke the Other Serbian twice in the final set to clinch victory in slight over 90 minutes.

Federer is looking very very good, after three matches. I have to admit, it has been very lovely and refreshing to see him play so freely and prettily. If he keeps up this level of play…I won’t say it, but I know all of us are THINKING IT (ANTIJINX).

To the Tennis Gods, my offer of first born and blood still stands if…you know.

Anyway, have some pretty.

A couple of days ago, I wished I was a towel. Now I wish I’m a drink bottle. Roger Federer, he makes you wish that you are an inanimate object.

In other matches – the blockbuster match-up of the day between Del Potro and Djokovic was halted after two sets due to darkness. I actually stayed up until the ungodly hour of 330AM to catch the match, and although I was half dead throughout, I can see that there wasn’t much separating the two. It wasn’t a cracking, breathtakingly exciting match, but it was competitive throughout the two sets. Djokovic’s first set victory didn’t come easy, and neither did Delpo’s second set victory.

The two will continue to battle today on Lenglen, in what turns out to be a best-of-3 affair. It’s anyone’s guess, as to who will triumph, although I know I want WHO to triumph.

As for the other guys in the field:

1)      Good day for the Frenchies, as they make it two out of three, with Gael Monfils dumping Steve Darcis, ending his giant-killing run – and Reeshie Gasquet finally overcoming a determined Thomaz Belluci in four sets.

2)      It was nearly a perfect 3 out of 3 for France though – if Jo-Wills Tsonga had not blown a two-set lead against Ewok the Other Swiss. He was even up a break in the 3rd, but allowed Stan to fight back spectacularly. For the final two sets, it was all about Stan being the Man as he breezed through against the tiring Tsonga, showing that McFed not the only Swiss that can put on a spectacular show. Great comeback by Stanley, and he earned himself a chance to play His Friend Roge in the 4th round.

3)      Is anyone frazzling about Lord F yet? Initially I was quite okay with having him in Roger’s quarter, brick wall and all. But he’s been sweeping through his matches with deadly ease – destroying Sergiy Stakhovsky in only allowing 5 games – and certainly enjoying the flight under the radar. Coupled with a great run in Melbourne and a solid clay season…urm, I’m starting to wish he stayed out of Roger’s quarter.

4)       Mikhail Youzhny lost tamely to Albert Montanes – eating two breadsticks. He staged a great comeback in the second set to take it to a tiebreaker after being down a break, but totally brain-farted in the tiebreak, only taking one point. I need to get off the Headsmashy Bandwagon – but I really did think he’ll have another career surge after making the semis of USO last year. Ah well.

5)      Fab Fog beat Garcia-Lopez to earn himself a spot in the fourth round. One quarterfinal this year WILL feature Fog OR Montanes…that made my brain stopped working for two seconds.

On the ladies’ side – the Aussie flag took a HUGE tumble, with Sammy Stosur crashing out to Gisela Dulko, who had her giant-killing pants on yesterday. It’s really disappointing for Sammy – for I think as far as Slams go, her best bet is the French because she’s got a better game on clay. The thing with Sam is, I felt like she’s just not at a place where she is 100% confident with her game, and with herself. She was up a break in the third set after a solid performance in the second set, but couldn’t keep that break, and was broken again with Dulko triumphing.

Good news is, she moves onto the grass to start training for Wimbledon. Bad news is, I don’t think she’ll get very far there.

Oh Sammy – you make my heart and my head hurt.

The shocker of the day though – or perhaps not so shocking when you consider the innate shot-making ability of Daniela Hantuchova – saw top seed Kangaroo Woz tumbling out of the tournament in straights. She was no match for Dani yesterday, who just came out like a woman on a mission, butchering Woz in the first set.

There was a slight wobble in the second that saw Caro break her serve – where I was afraid she might actually lose it, because of the manner she was broken. It looked like a double-bounce on Woz’s side of the court, which would give the point to Hantuchova, but umpire called it good and Woz was like “whut no it didn’t double –bounce” so that was that. But since she was double-break up, she managed to hold on to eventually win the match.

As for Woz – the relevant question was “do you feel the pressure of being a Slamless no.1?” and her relevant quote was “blah blah blah no” and my response was “oh, that’s so relevant.” Honestly? I don’t like the girl, neither do I like her game, but journos have to come up with better questions. If you want to ask the same thing a thousand times over, at least come up with a NEW way of asking it.

This is the first time since 1971 that the top two women’s seeds did not survive the first week of a Slam, and questions were raised again about the depth of the field. To which I say…BRING BACK SERENA WILLIAMS!!! Surely she is the epitome of consistency that the WTA Tour really needs.

Other than that, it was uneventful for the women as all the other seeds got through their matches safely. Marion “high IQ” Bartoli provided some cheer for the French crowd as she overcame Julia Goerges in three sets.

And that’s the wrap, folks.

– PJ

P.S. photos from daylife.com

Frazzle Post: Monte Carlo

As you can probably tell, I am now swimming in a sea of work, exams, assignments and the WEIGHT OF EXPECTATIONS (okay, okay, not quite, but ya know …)

Bloggage will be done when I get my priorities sorted.

In the meanwhile, read Poojay’s recap of the Fed Cup tie. YOU LOSER, Feddy.


Miami Players Party: Y/N

Sometimes, a mighty, barf-inducing PICSPAM is the only appropriate thing to do. So indulge me, if you could, in a simple game of Yes/No, Yay/Nay, Oui/Non … UNF/URGH!

Well, they say a picture paints a thousand words, so I shall say no more. It’s Miami, it’s tennistical, and IT IS A FASHION-DISASTUHHHH.










Isn’t it refreshing when a teenager dresses like a teenager? Did Laura Robson get the memo?


Hello, I am Sweet Caroline and I just crawled out of a cabbage patch.


First and last time I’ll say this about Ferrer…


Just the clothes. I swear.


hang on


udderly awesome




(Watermarked photos courtesy of Tennis Panorama)

Indian Wells: It all comes down to one word really … WHUT?!

My face, upon witnessing Andy Murray’s straight sets loss to Donald Young …

Murrays teeth

I mean, really, Ahndee. To his credit, Donald Young played a spirited match, but it’s that much easier to be spirited against a mopey, moody opponent with the EQ of a prepubescent boy. And there is nothing, I repeat – nothing, less entertaining than watching Murray suck himself into a whirlpool of misery and self-loathing.

Nonetheless, it’s a fantastic result for Donald Duck, who has yet to score a Top 10 win until today. No doubt this will make his case for USTA wild cards much easier in the year ahead.


It was a tough day at the office for some of the other top seeds in tennis too, as Sexlana was unceremoniously tossed out of the tournament by Christina McHale 76 76, making this her third early exit from Indian Wells in the last 5 years. Li Na soon followed, losing to Peng Pong 64 36 36 to join Muzz in the Post-Aus Open Losers Club.

Masha Fierce almost suffered the same fate, coming from behind to squeak past Anabel Medina Garrigues 74 67 61. It wasn’t the most auspicious of starts to the tournament, but having pulled out of Paris, Doha and Dubai because of a viral illness, I’ll take a win over a Muzzerable exit any day, especially one that involves Masha looking like a giant tangerine dream.


Two time champion Daniel Hantuchova was technically “upset” by a player who had fallen outside the Top 100 and struggled to win any matches at all for the last year and a half. But that player happens to be former World No 1 Dina Safina, on the rebound from the absolute nadir of her career.

“After Australia, there was a moment I came to Moscow for the Fed Cup. I said to my mom, ‘I’m retiring.’ I said, ‘I don’t want any more of this.’”

But there’s nothing like a ickle pep talk from Momma to put some sprint back in your step. Safina steered clear of early retirement, and after winning just one match all year, she has now won TWO MATCHES IN A ROW this week at Indian Wells. Like – woah! Stop the presses!

“I played two tournaments, and then I injured my back before Wimbledon. So at that moment, I think I should have really stopped and, you know, take time to recover full and to come back maybe end of the season, but not rushing it. I was rushing. I wanted to play, and then end up in the worst situation. So this was my worst mistake.”

Anyone who reads this blog would know how I feel about Dinara Safina in general, but at the end of the day, a young girl working her ass off to come back from the wild moors of tennis wasteland doesn’t deserve any of my snark and sarcasm.

So … yer know … well done, good luck, and all that … *shifts awkwardly*


MOVING ON before I get all soft and hormonal …

I saw very little of the match, but it was good to see Dr Ivo reopen his clinic after slumping to 239th in the world after an Archilles tendon surgery last year. Archilles no more, Ivo accomplished his first ever victory over Aus Open semifinalist and Acapulco winner Lord Farquaad, 76 63, winning 86% of his first-serves and serving 9 aces.

Obviously talking to balls didn’t help …

Ferrer talking to balls

The OOP for tomorrow has been updated in the Frazzle Post.

Happy Sunday, bitches!

xx doots

The only thing less pleasant than getting PUNCHED IN THE OVARIES.

Since a picture paints 1000 words, I’ll let my supersadz pug brigade do all the talkin’.






Don’t get me wrong. Novak Djokovic is breathing out balls of fire and confidence these days. Still lossless in 2011, the guy’s on a streak so hot he’s giving his own father a permanent erection. Playing him so soon after the Aus Open was always going to be a tough job. Given that it was a minor tournament, in an attempt to be a modest fangirl, I prepared myself for a loss, cheered for the best and hoped for some good tennis.

But come, the fuck, on. Wogie McFed, what is with this tennis thing that you purportedly played in the Dubai final?

Wogie is a loser >:O

Built up to be a Blockbuster match of revenge, the Dubai final turned out to be an easy 6-3 6-3 drubbing by the Djoker. It would all be very well if the Djoker played brilliant tennis to win, which in part – he did. But while the first set may have featured Novak Djokovic piling up bricks of pressure on Federer like his name was Bob the Builder, the second set was nothing short of underwhelming, loose, and down right shite.

With Djoko fast losing concentration and the crowd firmly behind Federer, Wogie came out in the second set with an early break, and held to go up 3-1. But just as he looked like he had turned the corner, Wogie suddenly transformed into Robocop (né Ferd), and miraculously managed to lose the next FIVE GAMES to concede the match in a whimper.


I was so angry I could’ve BLOWN UP my ovaries in protest, but I settled for eating all of Federbear’s cookies instead. TAKE THAT, stoopid bear!

You may be a TOTAL LOSER, but ohmigosh, you’re still pwetty.

Onto less vein-popping tournament results:

Over in Acapulco, Ferru finally inflicted on Almug his first clay loss of the season in a 7-6, 6-7, 6-2 win over his compatriot, making this Ferrer’s 11th title, second in 2011.

“I didn’t think I could win here twice in a row and I realise I am having the best season start of my career this year. I hope I can continue like that this season.”

We talk too often in tennis about players who never quite live up to their immensely evident talents (COUGHGULBISCOUGH), but has there ever been a player who has made more of his God-given abilities than David Ferrer?

Name one. I dare ya.


While your Site Mistress is hardly a member of del Potro fan brigade, it was good to see him bounce back from a potentially career-threatening with a title at Delray Beach, although he seemed just as impressed as I was about his glass fallopian-tubes trophy.


On the genuine fallopian side of thing, Vera Zvonareva took home a Qatari Falcon of her own after a breakfest win of 64 64 over Pushniacki. This victory marks Vera’s first title in more than a year, making her the WTA’s new “Svetlana Kuznetsova circa 2007-8”.

She’ll be hoping she has turned the corner when it comes to converting finals, as the tour heads to Indian Wells, where Vera was a former champ.


Enough weekend recapping, back to my pug face. 😡

xx doots

‘Cause nothing says “Misfit” more than a Year Book Photo.


One of the above isn’t like the others…

Oh yeth. British PeeEm David Cameron gathered the Top 8 for some photo ops at the Ministry of Tragic. Evidently, the ATP’s idea of “tournament promotion” is to dress the world’s best players up like a bunch of balding investment bankers and congregate them at a place not accessible to fans.

What could possibly make them look more like a bunch of privileged, private-schooled, well-moneyed, jet-setting douchebags removed from the grassroots of tennis?


If you’re going to be a snoot, at least be in on your own joke.


Now that I’ve gotten the snark out of my system … you know those models that press themselves against hot cars?

In the unlikely event I suddenly grow a few meters in height and become one of those supermodels specializing in being the token Asian in photoshoots, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO PRESS ME AGAINST THIS CAR. In fact, don’t bother having car windows.


Hey this photo is actually less injurious on the eyes! What am I missing …


No, Big Berd. Roger doesn’t actually want to socialise with you.


I have nothing snarky to say on this photo. I just like my men tanned. That’s all.


Personally wouldn’t mind a crooked smile either. But Rafa dear, when Fernando Verdasco asks if you want his left-over bottle of hair gel, JUST SAY NO.


Andy Toothface was eager to point out that, like Federer’s Wintour and Rafa’s Gypsy, he too has friends in high places. Friends he can matchy-matchy his tie with, and chat at length about things like haggis and deep fried arteries …

“It’s the second time I’ve been hereIt was nice. He [David Cameron] likes tennis, which we knew beforehand. We spoke about tennis and some of the past players. It was good fun, I really enjoyed it.”


I iz disappoint.

xx doots

Newsreel: the Agate-stone Queen.

1. Excuse the lack of bloggage. Not only are work and my Bachelorette degrees owning my ass right now, it’s the clay season, and my mind wanders (mind you, not to snooker), but it wanders nonetheless.



2. She may be diminutive in height, but Justine Henin was a colossus in Stuttgart, winning her first title since returning from her ‘retirement’. It also puts her at No 1 in the Sony Ericsson Championships race ahead of Venus and Serena and raises the million dollar question: can Henin end the year as No 1?

“I thought about a comeback when I saw Roger Federer win the French Open (for the first time last year). This brought back the fire,” she said.

Shocker of a second set aside, it was vintage Henin on all the big points, as she ended Stosur’s winning streak 6-4, 2-6, 6-1. I see no reason to nitpick her tennis, not when she’s just taken out Yanina Wickmayer, Jelena Jankovic and Sam Stosur back-to-back in a tournament that featured 7 of the world’s top 10 player.



3. As for Sammy, to be honest, a slight let-down at this point was exactly what she needed. Winning Stuttgart might’ve actually sent her quiet, introverted self into freak-out mode over the possibility of something grand. Grand and slammin’, that is.

And we wouldn’t want that.

With a title and a final to start her clay season, Stosur has pulled out of Rome to rest her sore arms. Good girl.



4. Rafa won Rome. Yay!



3. Oh wait …  Were you looking for “commentary”? Umm, were you?

Didn’t watch a single point of the Rome final.

As far as the tournament was concerned, Ernie was the wild card, Wawrinka might’ve, could’ve but ultimately wouldn’t have. But you’d have to be delusional to think anyone from the so-called Armada is capable of pushing and then closing out a match against Rafa. Not unless Rafa was going into the match on one leg.

So the narrative of yesteryear ensues – Rafa and Justine reign supreme on clay. And frankly, after the frightening tennis plots of last two years, we could all use a little stability.



4. Notable mentions of the week: Iveta Benesova won her second career title in Fes, defeating French junior champ/breast reduction girl Simona Halep 6-4, 6-2. I say ‘notable’, because it was only Halep’s third tournament in the WTA main draw and her first ever WTA tour final at the age of 18. Someone’s star is rising.



5. Not to be lost in the fine print: Iveta’s 63 46 75 semifinal win against Alize Cornet was a welcomed sight. For these two “could’ve beens” of the WTA, good weeks are now few and far between.



6. While I’ve barely had time to review last week’s actions, the WTA tournament in Rome has realdy kicked off, with Sveta Kuznetsova becoming the first major casualty in her 6-2, 3-6, 6-4 loss to MariKiri.

With this loss, Sveta descends onto a shiny 7-7 win/loss record in 2010, and has yet to win 3 matches in a row since the Australian Open. But then again, neither has Fed. The Roland Garros voodoo has struck.



7. In other first-round action, local hopes Flavs and Franny both progressed into the second round – Schiavone with a bit of a struggle against Daniela Hantuchova, eventually wining 3-6, 6-2, 6-2.

Ana Ivanovic made news by actually winning a match, and winning it easy -sailing past E.Vesnina 6-1, 6-3. She faces Vika next.

With injuries stalking Azarenka these days, I say Miss Muffin is overdue for a much needed scalp.



8. Things not to do while drunk: watch Roger Federer play tennis in 3D.

MEO, the cable channel from Portugal Telecom, will broadcast for the first time a national event live in 3D.

It will also be the first 3D broadcast from an ATP World Tour event. Roger Federer’s first singles match is to be broadcast in 3D on Wednesday, in what will be a historic day for Portuguese television and tennis broadcasting.

Homes with 3D television sets and spectators on-site at the Estadio Nacional, will be able to also watch the semi-finals and final.

Source: Estoril website

Right … that’s exactly what delusional monkey-loving Fedophiles need: Roger Federer sashaying around in their living rooms with his moobies and swirly hair.

It’s not so much an assault on the senses as a cold-hearted murder. Oh my poor ovaries. 😦

xx doots