Communal commiseration.

Usually I’m first to say ”FUCK YOU ROGER FEDERER! Get out of Shankville”. But you know what? I can’t even say that. When Federer loses, people – even Federer fans (or especially Federer fans) – jump to the conclusion that he lost playing like shit.

But Benneteau actually won this one, and he won it with some pretty inspired tennis: at one point, dude had made 25 first serves in a row. Every half chance that Federer had was erased with zinging winners. 

So I’m sitting here, left wondering: what else could Roger have done? My point is, Federer fans, stop overreacting. Save that for London.

 

 

The irony of it all was that Federer actually didn’t play badly: 15 aces, 0 doubles, 73% first serves, 41 winner to 23 UFEs over 3 sets. 

The bigger irony is that Rafa actually played like crap and managed to survive because his whipping boy just couldn’t win one more point when he had to. 

Where does that leave us for Year End No 1? 1300 points separate the two (taking off the Year End points). Rafa’s potentially in contention for 2000 points, Federer for 1000 now that he’s out of Paris.

Sorry Rafa, I’m going to have to root against you for a while.

 

Now let us commiserate, let us rage. 

FUCK YOU TENNIS GODS.

Passing Thoughts: post hoc, ergo propter hoc.

Hello there! 

Excuse the intermittent blogging of late, I have 4 exams coming up in the next 6 days. Part of the deal with being a student is that you party, play, drink and procrastinate for the majority of the year, then comes every November, when life is a hell-hole and one that’s kicking your ass.

Never fear, if the exams were Novak Djokovic, then I’m Roger Federer – you win some and you lose some. As long as you win more than you lose.  

Enough about me! Now tennis … 

 

1. Simon Reed strikes again. For you West Wing buffs out there, post hoc, ergo propter hoc.

 

 

Follow my logic here: 

# Andy Murray won Valencia.

# Therefore, Andy Murray is BACK.

# Therefore, Andy Murray is the No 1 player outside the slams.

# Thus Andy Murray is the favourite for London, because LONDON IS NOT A SLAM.

# Thus Andy Murray is not the favourite for the Australian Open yet, because THE AUSTRALIAN OPEN IS A SLAM.

That, my dear friends, is Dootsie’s Concise Guide to Simon Reedism.

Post hoc, ergo propter hoc indeed. Simon Reed is CJ, and I’m the President of the United States. God bless!

 

What they wore: Victoria Azarenka.

If you took Wimbledon as the half way point and divided Vika’s year in half, you probably wouldn’t recognise the first half from the second, both in terms of the quality of tennis and her image. 

We started the year in Brisbane, looking youthful, fresh and oh-so-pretty, oh and winning the title too, by the way. Vika stormed her way through the early hard court season, winning Memphis and Miami, and taking a set from Serena Williams at the Australian Open. The clay season was a couldabeen – her Roland Garros run itself was full of sound and fury, outclassing Ana Ivanovic, giving an in-form Dinara Safin an run for her money. 

But by Wimbledon, Nike was struggling to come up with clothes that covered Vika’s err … mid-torso, and Vika was struggling to come up with shots that found the court.

It’s no wonder that since Wimbledon, Vika has been titleless. Her tennis just as loose, saggy and passé as her appearance. What will 2010 bring for Vika? I’m not sure that slam glory is insight, and I’m not afraid of getting a little egg on my face for that.  

If the end of 2009 were anything to go by, the idea of being one of the “big girls” in tennis was just starting to freak her out a little. There is no doubt that Azarenka has it and wants it, whatever “it” is: titles? Grand slams? No 1 spot? If you asked her, she’d want it all. But does she want it too much, too self-destructively?

I wouldn’t be surprised if the answer to that question turned out in the affirmative. 

 

Picspam: Name this ass.

 

Basel: Don’t talk to me. I need to be alone with my misery.

SOOOOOOOO …

Roger was flat in the 3rd set.

It was one of those shanktastic days.

Fed was wasting his break points (2/11. what else is new?).

Nole deserves credit for hanging in there.

Roger would’ve won against a lot of players playing the way he did today.

He defended well, moved well, but left his offense game with Myla.

It wasn’t spectacular, nor was it anything self-destructive.

Nole needed the win more than Fed did.

WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY? Oh yeah … good jo— 

It would actually kill me to say that. That’s one thing certain in this world of uncertainty: no matter how many slams Roger win, a loss is a loss and it will always rankle Dootsie.

Federer fans, say NO to Zen. Just say NO. We have to redouble our efforts to be miserable. What the hell is Wimbledon to cushion our blow? WHO IS MONSIEUR ROLAND GARROS TO TELL ME THE SKY IS NOT FALLING DOWN?

Time to bring out the projections of gloom:

 

 

What I will say is that the pattern is clear in recent Nole-Roger match-ups: Roger either thrashes him win in straights, or Nole outgrinds him in the decider.

Usually when Roger loses, people rationalises by picking trends: “I saw this coming, Roger was scrappy in his match against … oh, that Seppi guy.” “Roger was slicing a lot earlier this tournament, and when he does that, I KNOW HE’S GOING TO LOSE IN THE FINAL.” “Novak Djokovic played well against Radek Stepanek.”

Get over it folks. Roger did well all tournament. He had an off-day and I’d rather he didn’t. I’d rather he didn’t lose the US Open final either, because then we wouldn’t be sitting here calculating points to hold the Year-End No 1.

But these things happen, and they happen unnoticed for other players. It’s hard to go unnoticed when you’re Roger Federer. It’s hard to justify a bad day when you’ve won 15 slams without having one. 

So where does that leave us for Year-End No 1? Am I right in assuming that Roger has to outdo Nadal in Paris and London? Or at least equal Rafa in Paris, and out-do him at the WTF.

Now, if you will also excuse me, I am going to STAB Federbear with my sharpest pen. And back into the cupboard for solitary confinement, you fugly beanie!

Basel: You have my permission to FRAZZLE.

If you were Novak Djokovic: you’ve played two bad matches, two good ones. You’ve posted good results all year, but with a terrible record in finals. And now you are presented with an opportunity to take out Roger Federer in Roger Federer Stadium, in front of his home crowd, right before the last Masters Series tournament of the year, is that extra motivation?

Or is that just Dootsie freaking out on a finals day over some potato-nosed douchebag from Basel? 

 

 

Like Stan the day before, Radek Stepanek had his chances, 3 match points in fact, and all credit to Nole for digging himself out of trouble with good serves and solid play. But he’s going to need some extra motivation … or for Roger to be off his game a little, which I’ve been waiting for all week, but it actually hasn’t happened.

I never thought I’d say this, but I miss the days when Novak Djokovic was just a pain in the ass. What happened to him? He learnt political correctness. He learnt to pay lip service to the press and other players. He learnt to downtalk his own game. He’s a lot nicer a person, less spectacular a tennis player. Like so: 

 

“I wouldn’t say necessarily it was my good shots that prevented the loss. It was luck only,” Djokovic said. “I just tried to get some first serves in and at least get that advantage. On this (hard-court) surface, it’s crucial.”

Source: AFP

 

Must admit, I rather enjoyed the tensions between Jelena Ristic and Nikki Vee more than the match itself. Pumpkin-coloured and over-animated she might be, Jelena Ristic is full of win. 

 

 

 

Some ‘Federnelli’ piccies to warm your ovaries. Unless you don’t have one, in which case, you poor deprived child. 

 

 

 

Quotable Quotes: Let’s all die of cute. NOW.

 

Roger’s through to the semifinal of Basel to face his childhood friend Marco Chiudinelli, which reminded me of this great excerpt from Rene Stauffer’s biography of Roger, “the Quest for Perfection”.

 

After training, the two boys [Roger and Marco] sometimes played squash with their tennis racquets and played table tennis and soccer against each other. Their parents both jogged and bicycled together. When a region-wide top tennis group was formed, Roger and Marco, both eight-years-old, became members of the group, despite playing at different clubs-Federer at the Old Boys Tennis Club, where training conditions were better for him than at the Ciba Tennis Club in Allschwil, and Chiudinelli at the Basel Lawn Tennis Club.

“It was pretty loud when we were in training,” Chiudinelli recollected. “We talked more than we trained. Training didn’t seem too important to us. We just wanted to have a good time and we goofed around a lot. One of us was frequently kicked off the court.”

Federer and Chiudinelli soon became the black sheep of the group and their parents were angry to discover that one or the other was forced to sit on the sidelines and watch half of the practice sessions for disciplinary reasons.

“Roger lost to practically everybody in training,” said Chiudinelli. “He was the only one that I beat, but the difference was enormous. When it came down to business, he could flip a switch and become a completely different person. I admired that about him. I could give him a thrashing in training but when we played at a tournament a day later, he gave me a thrashing. Even back then he was a real competitor.”

The two eight-year-olds played against each other for the first time at an official event at a tournament called “The Bambino Cup” in Arlesheim. “Back then we only played one long set of up to nine games,” Chiudinelli explained. “Things weren’t going well for me at the beginning. I was behind 2-5 and I started to cry. We cried a lot back then even during the matches. Roger came up to me and tried to comfort me when we switched sides. He told me everything would be all right, and in fact, things did get better. I took the lead 7-6 and noticed that the tide had turned. Then he began to cry and I ran up to him to give him encouragement and things went better for him. It was the only time that I could beat him.”

 

Roger used to cry when he’s losing? Yer don’t say. Goofy practice sessions? Surely not anymore?

 

 

Some things never change.

Quotable Quotes: Stab you with a pen, Lena Dee.

 

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a young woman in possession of good looks must be in want of a brain.

But the latest issue of the Fairfax magazine Sports&Style featured an interview with Elena Dementieva, in which she showed the apparent capacity to form coherent sentences.

Looking hot and making sense? Hate you, Lena D.

 

Dementieva is electrifying. Her beauty entrancing. Her passion for tennis infectious. But this athletic, blonde, bright young thing, who has a penchant for wearing haute couture and works with a fashion designer on her on-court style also exudes intelligence.

“Like my grandmother and uncle, who were both doctors, I would have gone to university and probably had a career in medicine had I not been a tennis pro,” she says. The old hand of 14 WTA tournament victories also speaks astutely about the current economic climate in Russia. “It’s very worrying. People are having problems finding work. They’re anxious. Russia has been hit hard by the recession and it is affecting our industrial output.“

Rather appropriately, when I asked her which famous personality she would like to spend an evening with, she answers: “you might be disappointed, but I’m not going to say Tom Cruise or Justin Timberlake. I’d like to spend an evening with [Vladimir] Putin to ask him about the future of Russia and hear his views on the current economic situation. I’ve already met him once. And he has quite a dry sense of humour.”

Perhaps more surprising that her desire to meet the Russian Prime Minister, however, is her considerable knowledge of the acclaimed authors from her home country. “I always have a few in my bag,” she says of the Russian classics. “I like Tolstoy and Nabokov, but the author I really love is Dostoevsky. I think he is one of the greatest writers of all time.” 

“There are two ways of approaching Dostoesvsky. The first is taken by people who have never lived in Russia: you concentrate on the psychology of the characters, on narrative development and the philosophical implications of the story. And then there’s the way Russians read him. As well as being a universal writer, Dostoevsky is also typically Russian.”

“It’s a real pleasure for me to read his novels again and again. I think that he analyses the Russian identity more deeply than anyone else. He reveals its strengths and weaknesses, its coherence as well as its contradiction. In my opinion, Dostoevsky is a master, a complete man. If he were a tennis player, people would say that he had no weaknesses, that his baseline game was as good as his volley.” [Well that settles it - Dostoevsky is Federer.]

 

Not fair Elena, you can’t have legs that extend their way across the Milky Way Galaxy and a mind that reads Dostoevsky in two ways. Meanwhile, the most intelligent thing I’ve done in the last 48 hours is finishing an entire season of West Wing. 

Yay normal people.

Enjoy the rest of the pictures, peeps.

 

Picket Fence Vid: Atonement.

…That’s what Andre referred to his autobiography as.

Try not to stare at his weird blink in this video. 

 

 

Agassi will be on 60 minutes (US) this Sunday at 7 p.m ET/PT,  and I’m assuming on youtube for the rest of the world within an hour thereafter.

 

Agassi got emotional when responding to the criticism from Martina Navratilova that Couric read to him, including that the former women’s tennis star compared him with Roger Clemens.

“Yeah…it’s what you don’t want to hear…I would hope…along with that would come some compassion that maybe this person doesn’t need condemnation,” Agassi tells Couric. “Maybe this person could stand a little help. Because that was at a time in my life when I needed help.”

“I had a problem and there might be many other athletes out there that test positive for recreational drugs that have a problem. So I would ask for some compassion,” says Agassi.

The former number-one tennis player in the world has no regrets about disclosing his methamphetamine use in his new book, “Open,” which comes out Monday. He’s not sure what impact it will have on his consideration for the Tennis Hall of Fame.

“I don’t know what the ramifications are….I had way more to lose by telling this story in its full transparency than I had to gain,” he tells Couric, ‘The price that that comes with is the cost that I’ve assumed and I’m okay because the part that I worry and think more about is who this may help.”

Source: CBS

 

Whatever your views on Andre, he’s gotta be one of the most fascinating figures in this sport.

Federporn Fridays: Christmas has come early…

Here’s your high intensity dose of Federporn for the week, thanks to Nadine from RF.com from the photo. 

 

 

I’ve decided that Federporn Fridays is here to say, 1) I like alliterations. 2) I’ll need the amusement during the offseason, 3) Who’s complainin’? Take it as an early Christmas present.

 

 

Yeah, people have too much time on their hands … and I can talk. 

While we’re at it: a video clip of Roger’s visit to the FCB match last week, taken by “Felice”, who was so inspired by his chanced encounter with Fed that he composed a song. 

Umm … again, I can talk. I only write tennis-inspired nursery rhymes. 

 

 

Enjoy your Fridays!