Federporn Friday on Delay: Clay Season 2010, now with 20% more sex hair.

Federporn for the week – signed, sealed, delivered, it’s yours.

And no, it’s not “late” darling, it’s just seasoned.

This week’s Federporn looks at a very topical issue, one that is very close to my heart … that is, Roger’s clay season hair.

It seems that His Royal Gorgeousness has fallen into a predictable pattern of cutting his hair short and choppy for the Australian Open, and nursing it slowly into a luscious splendour by clay season.

Which means that while this clay season has sucked goat-balls so far, we’ve been treated to some HARD-CORE-HAIRPORN.

So brace yourselves, your ovaries and/or movaries for pornographic magnificence while Roger brushes away that imaginary strand of hair he thinks is in his face.

There. That’s better, Mr Chocolate Swirls.

Shall I compare thee to a Lindt bunny?

Thou art more puny and more squishy.

Rough winds do shake thy darling strands of honey…

In Estoril’s breeze thy hair look even more plushy.

Sometimes too hot in the eye of Dootsie shines.

And oft’ is his old complexion dimmed.


Nor lose possession of Federporn Friday.

Nor shall splendour be hidden in the shade,

When within the lines thy puny arms can play.

So long as Monkey lives and Monkey sees,

So long lives this, and this is porn to thee.

99% organic cocoa. Fair trade certified.

xx doots


12 responses to “Federporn Friday on Delay: Clay Season 2010, now with 20% more sex hair.”

  1. federerlive says :

    Federporn is the purest and epicest form of porn there is. GOAT hair, it’s part of the package.

    Thank you for this!

  2. FortuneCookie says :

    Oh hair and back Federporn,thank you Doots 😛

  3. Mia says :

    He is indeed an outlier … the tennis records, of course, but the legs and the hair. How does he get those locks that glossy? Everyone gets bad hair days; him, never.

  4. Luna says :

    Your writing about Federer makes me hapeeeeee!
    And so does his fabulous hair.

    I cringe every time he cuts it.

  5. Amandita_FP says :

    Doots, this post is awesome! Thank you so much! Federporn Friday on Delay turned out beautifully..

    And yes, Rog’s hair is fantastic. When he cuts it short, he has a cute boyish look, but this length is just peRFect & my personal favorite. I love the curls!

  6. PJ says :

    Hahaha, my first reaction to him winning against Clement was YAY FEDERPORN and indeedy, what porn is better than hairporn?

    Thanks for this, Doots, as usual you’re a star. xoxo

  7. caillean says :

    I still can’t believe you could have been a Rafa fan. did you use to write sonnets on HIS HAIR too? ops, maybe “hair” it’s too big a word to decribe what rafa has on his head LOL

  8. Nilhenwen says :

    That was better than Shakespeare’s version.
    By a million =P

  9. Lily says :

    I want the eighth photo in poster just in front of my bed.

    Pliiiiz !

  10. A_Gallivant says :


  11. BS says :

    Love it…there is no-one other tennis player who has greater hair. Who would have thought that the lanky teenager with the ponytail would’ve turned out with gorgeous hair like this?!

    On another note, what on earth is wrong with him? Just found out that he lost to Montanes. Did anyone see the match? Ferd the turd was there the whole time I presume? This is getting ridiculous and I’m losing all patience with him. Just play tennis and stop playing all those ridiculous shots, whether we love them or not. I’m so sick of this clay season. Can we move onto grass already? 😦

  12. judy says :

    yup. hit the spot! TMF hair is definitely part of the appeal. and to think i didn’t quite appreciate it until i heard it straight from doots. your descriptions rock!

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